I know that the first about 11 months I was not wrapped too tight. I think that the best things to to get them engaged in the "real world" again and always have a open ear if they should call.
Getting back into the real world can be difficult, especially when you're known as being someones spouse, and they're no longer with you - but I agree keeping busy is the best way to help you focus on something other then your grief.
For me, a good friend of mine started to convince me (again) to join the K of C. He had tried convincing me before my beloved took ill, and for whatever reason I didn't think it was for me. A month or so after she passed he gave me a personallized invitation card that said "When you're ready". Most of the guys didn't know me as Steph's husband, and some of them are even surprised to hear that I'm widowed.
So I guess I'm trying to say that if you can find a way of getting into the real world where you're not going to get "Oh you're so and so's husband / wife" a lot things will be easier.