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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Feb 23rd 2013 new

I know I am intimidated by an agressive woman. Usually if she is chasing me I shut down pretty quick. I just like being the one making the moves I guess if that makes any sense...

Feb 23rd 2013 new

Thats why i am on a break .

Feb 23rd 2013 new

I think feeling intimidated at times by other people we meet is normal.embarassed Yet, we have to be careful not to think that our judgment is accurate even if it often said that first impressions count. People are complicated. Someone with high credentials might turn out to be less than kind or generous. Someone with less education or achievements might in fact be more knowledgeable in many ways about life in general. scratchchin Although we are God's children, we are also primates, part of the animal kingdom. Primates put emphasis on power, strength, health and goods. I tend to think that as God's children we are called to transcend our primate instincts, that is, the superficial, in order to become fully human (saints) and to know our soul selves. Because the only constant in the universe is change, people go through cycles of success and failure. Let us be careful not to judge others too quickly according to our own standards of what we think we understand them to be. gangster flamed

Feb 23rd 2013 new

I think that there is a difference in cultures in regards to "intimidation" by women. For example, my former husband told me that he needed to find a Mexican woman because American women are too "democratic" (his choice of words). When I asked him to define "democratic" he said that American women are too independent and that Mexican women "do whatever they are told without asking any questions". Currently he is living with a Mexican illegal immigrant who lost custody of her son to the boys step-father because she is not a legal citizen and he is. She is so oppressed that she won't even fight for custody of her own son, how sad (though my exhusband thinks it is great because he doesn't want "the kid" around). She is my exhusband's "slave", living with him because she has nowhere else to go (her former husband, who is a US citizen, divorced her) and will be deported if found living on the streets. Unfortunately this scenario is all too common in areas of the country that cater to immigrants. I have even seen white male profiles on CM specifying that they prefer a hispanic or asian female. I "assumed" it was because women of these cultures have been notoriously dominated by men. I wish the best to you Sarah and completely understand WHY some men feel you intimidate them (they are weak, you are strong!!).

Feb 23rd 2013 new

[quote]Jim-50634 said:

Not exactly sure what you are asking...I have felt "intimidated" in the past to approach a certain woman...I suppose there were feelings that she could "do better" so to speak. Part of it would be her physical beauty. I don't think she would turn every guys head when she walked in to a room, but she would mine. I think a lot of the "intimidation" stemmed from me being just a "blue collar type" police officer whose job it was to protect her (and every one else on Capitol Hill) and, in my eyes, her being a very well-educated, professional working for a United States Senator. I projected on her, and the female staff in general, that they would be most likely unwilling to date one of the officers just there to protect them. And have thus "torpedoed" any chance I may have had before even trying. I guess you just imagine that such an individual is looking for someone who makes a similar salary, similarly educated etc. and you wonder what you could offer them. So...Yes...I have been "intimidated" to approach....I can't say I have ever rejected a woman for being too independent. I think I would be quite alright with it if I felt that, in the end, a woman had "settled"(for lack of a better word) for me.


Rejection doesn't feel so great. Particularly if you can't really avoid the one who may reject you. Maybe some guys prefer a "safer bet". In my case it also felt somewhat inappropriate given my position and hers. The female staff are in some ways "forced" to interact with us given the way security is set up. This is where she works, and I'm there to do a job...There are plenty of officers who would like to believe that every smile and "hello" is some sort of "invitation"...

[/quote

Jim,

That was so well said, and as I was reading it I thought, perhaps that was what my late husband meant. But, I'm with Shara on this I say go for it, start simple maybe asking her if she'd like to get a soda or coffee sometime? She'd be very blessed to have your attention.

And in way of support for this action. Pete, my late husband, was blue collar all the way, rough around the edges, worked hard all of his life, had been expelled from high school in the ninth grade and never finished his high school degree. But, was one of the most intelligent men I have ever known. I was the nerdette from the Catholic high school book smart and a little shy. I am finishing up my PhD now because Pete urged me to go back to school. I am sure there were times when he might have wondered, because people were always pointing out how they would never have put us together, until after they saw us together, then as odd as it would seem on the surface we worked pretty well. So never ever sell yourself short, its more about your heart than all the credentials, and fine minds reside in all sorts of craniums :-) Lauren

Feb 23rd 2013 new

Insecure men feel intimidated by a secure woman, period.

Feb 23rd 2013 new

(Quote) Claudine-882177 said: I don't buy the excuse that guys are "too intimidated" to contact a woman. I str...
(Quote) Claudine-882177 said:

I don't buy the excuse that guys are "too intimidated" to contact a woman. I strongly believe that if a man sees something he wants, he will figure out a way to get it whether that's in his professional life, relationships, etc. Now, maybe a man could be intimidated initially but I don't think that would stop him from going for it if he was really interested.

I honestly think it's something that women tell one another to feel better. . .

--hide--


Claudine,

Those are words of wisdom.

If a woman was very attractive and I knew she had no shortage of men interested in her, that would be intimidating. If I was interested in her though, it wouldn't stop me from approaching her. (I would really have to put my mind to how I was going to break the ice with her, but I would still do it.)



Feb 23rd 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: Is she an active Catholic Jim? If she is and she is an honorable woman who will treat yo...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

Is she an active Catholic Jim? If she is and she is an honorable woman who will treat you as you deserve, then go for it and she would have to count herself blessed. As a man of God you have a priceless gift to offer; the pearl beyond price that is an honorable man. Do not EVER think that you are what someone settled for. If a woman EVER makes you feel that way then I ask you to run in the opposite direction no matter her position, education or professional success. A woman who truly loves you will see you as the best man in world for her. She will think that even if she ever had to choose between you and even the president or the wealthiest man on earth, she would still choose you. You derserve that kind of love and to be treated with that sort of dignity. God who is God loved you so much that he positioned you little lower than He Himself as God and higher than even the angels. Let no one cause you to forget that dignity and that worth. No amount of worldly success can even begin to claim the glory of what we are when when we embrace Christ and His plan for us. A plan that seeks to draw us so close to him that we radiate Him, His light and His might and become stunningly beautiful no matter who we are or what we look like physically. LOVE ALWAYS SEEKS TO ELEVATE THE DIGNITY OF THE LOVED. Worldy love is a foretaste of that heavenly love. You are the prize, not the other way around. Embrace and believe that.

--hide--

So beautiful Shara...!!! clap clap clap

Such inspiring & articulate words... Thank you... rose

Feb 23rd 2013 new

(Quote) William-607613 said: Claudine,Those are words of wisdom.If a woman was very attractive and I...
(Quote) William-607613 said:



Claudine,

Those are words of wisdom.

If a woman was very attractive and I knew she had no shortage of men interested in her, that would be intimidating. If I was interested in her though, it wouldn't stop me from approaching her. (I would really have to put my mind to how I was going to break the ice with her, but I would still do it.)

--hide--

Thanks for the confirmation smile

Feb 24th 2013 new

Hello Sarah, biggrin

If you are a strong, independent woman. some men will absolutely be intimidated by you. But I think that would mean that they feel the need to be needed. My last serious boyfriend told me that. He said to me, "You are so independent. It is like you don't need me in your life to do anything for you". I tried to explain to him that I "wanted " him in my life, but I was used to being on my own and getting things done myself, after all I am in my 50s and have never been married. I also explained that it was nice to have him in my life now and he could give me advice and help me when I needed him. The relationship did not work out, but not because of me intimidating him.

But there will be other women intimidated by you also if you are independent and successful. That would be jealousy and envy. I would hope that you strive to be a strong, successful, independent Catholic woman. I also think that we all can be role models when we are independent and strong, which attracts people. But please know there is a difference between independent and stubborn. Sometimes being strong is knowing when to ask for help.

I believe that God wants each and everyone of us to be the best version of ourselves. wave wave wave


And excuse me, but I have got to go pull up the floor boards in my attic so I can lay some more insulation. See my pics of phase I of Insulation Saturday. No, I am not kidding!

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