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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

02/25/2013 new

(Quote) Noemi-900477 said: Putting it that way, one might take it to say that if they have made a mistake, God d...
(Quote) Noemi-900477 said:




Putting it that way, one might take it to say that if they have made a mistake, God did not protect them from that situation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. If God did not allow us to be tempted, then we would never have the opportunity to rise above temptation and grow. There are situations where someone may not have had a choice in the matter. But the more common issues of premarital sex involve the human will. We are given the opportunity to choose to say no, or to say yes. This goes for everything, not just premarital sex.

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What your'e talking about is God's permissive will. Where he doesn't actually will such temptation but allows it.

You run into some nasty theological answers if one thinks that God actually wills our suffering and temptation; such behaviour is not loving and is rather nasty and vindicitive.

Sexual sins in particular stem from our inherent nature being wounded by sin. God built our bodies, giving us all those neat little hormones that encourage us towards procreation. But sex out of marriage is harmful and damaging to our souls and bodies. We are sexually tempted by others when they utlise their free will to dress immodestly or to pursue unnatural and deviant sexual choices. We can either give in to the flesh or we can refuse it, understanding sex belongs between one man and one woman in marriage, procreative and unitive.

We suffer because of the sins and choices of others, and ourselves. God doesn't place temptation before us, satan and the sins of others do. God, however, allows this because he will not interfer with free will.

Fr. Robert Barron has a good explanation, contrasting the issue of chaos and sin and God's allowance of such as a painter painting an image. IT's not perfect as soon as the first brush stroke is made, it takes time, and some of those mometns will look chaotic.

God allows the sins of others and temptations, not for their own sake to trap us, but to enable us to step up and move beyond it.

Permissive will, not direct will.

02/25/2013 new

My concern at the end of the day, is finding the right person. Sex is not the top concern. Anyone can have sex with anyone to just say they aren`t a virgin, but as Catholics we are taught that it`s meant to be in a marriage with someone you love. Not just a let`s "get it over with thing" just to say to others you aren`t a virgin or to see what`s it`s like.

Sex outside of marriage, has consequences and we see it all around us: Being used, unwanted pregnancies or being pregnant at at time where you aren`t ready for a child, and sexually transmitted diseases. In a culture of everyone who sleeps around and doesn`t care what God thinks, it`s hard to fit in. I find it to be worth it in the end though. I have no problem telling people I`m a virgin, and mostly everyone respects my choice, even people who don`t agree with me. You can`t help but respect someone who respects themselves at the end of the day, and to me not caring about what other people think about this issue, is the only way to go, if you want the best possible marriage and future for yourself.

Of course divorce or seperation/annulments still happens, and you could still even have a marriage that doesn`t work out, even if the couple were both Catholics and followed the same values, but I truly will always find it the best choice for yourself to not have sex before marriage regardless. Am I afraid of not having sex ever? No.

I have to trust God, to guide me to the right person. When I pray about meeting someone, I say in my prayer, if this is your will. I don`t pray to find someone, I pray that if God wants that to happen, I should trust that things will fall in place for me to make that happen or that he leads me to the right place to go to look. I would rather be single, instead of settling for someone that will cheat on you, lie to you, disrespect you, talk about other women, etc. Nobody deserves that and women need to be strong and say I won`t tolerate this behavior, just to have a boyfriend or husband/someone to date. God has to come first, and if he doesn`t, the relationship isn`t going to work. I`m realizing this more and more as the days go by.

02/25/2013 new

Very well said!! :)

02/25/2013 new
Amanda: I could see you being effective as a volunteer client advocate at a pro-life pregnancy resource center. I don't know if you have ever considered it, but I'm sure many girls would benefit from your wisdom, and your no compromise attitude when it comes to selecting the right relationship.
02/25/2013 new
(Quote) Amanda-818043 said: My concern at the end of the day, is finding the right person. Sex is not the top concern. Anyone can have sex...
(Quote) Amanda-818043 said:

My concern at the end of the day, is finding the right person. Sex is not the top concern. Anyone can have sex with anyone to just say they aren`t a virgin, but as Catholics we are taught that it`s meant to be in a marriage with someone you love. Not just a let`s "get it over with thing" just to say to others you aren`t a virgin or to see what`s it`s like.

Sex outside of marriage, has consequences and we see it all around us: Being used, unwanted pregnancies or being pregnant at at time where you aren`t ready for a child, and sexually transmitted diseases. In a culture of everyone who sleeps around and doesn`t care what God thinks, it`s hard to fit in. I find it to be worth it in the end though. I have no problem telling people I`m a virgin, and mostly everyone respects my choice, even people who don`t agree with me. You can`t help but respect someone who respects themselves at the end of the day, and to me not caring about what other people think about this issue, is the only way to go, if you want the best possible marriage and future for yourself.

Of course divorce or seperation/annulments still happens, and you could still even have a marriage that doesn`t work out, even if the couple were both Catholics and followed the same values, but I truly will always find it the best choice for yourself to not have sex before marriage regardless. Am I afraid of not having sex ever? No.

I have to trust God, to guide me to the right person. When I pray about meeting someone, I say in my prayer, if this is your will. I don`t pray to find someone, I pray that if God wants that to happen, I should trust that things will fall in place for me to make that happen or that he leads me to the right place to go to look. I would rather be single, instead of settling for someone that will cheat on you, lie to you, disrespect you, talk about other women, etc. Nobody deserves that and women need to be strong and say I won`t tolerate this behavior, just to have a boyfriend or husband/someone to date. God has to come first, and if he doesn`t, the relationship isn`t going to work. I`m realizing this more and more as the days go by.

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Very wise words for someone so young!
02/25/2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: What your'e talking about is God's permissive will. Where he doesn't actuall...
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said:

What your'e talking about is God's permissive will. Where he doesn't actually will such temptation but allows it.

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Yes, that's what I was saying. Thanks for putting the technical term with it. God allows us to be tempted to have the opportunity to rise above it and grow towards Him.

02/25/2013 new

(Quote) Joseph-903200 said: Indeed we have free will to cooperate with what God wants to do in our lives. And ye...
(Quote) Joseph-903200 said:




Indeed we have free will to cooperate with what God wants to do in our lives. And yes we will be tempted but I do believe God protects us from temptation that would be too great for us to bear as per 1 Corinthians 10:13
No Trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength: but with the trail he will also provide a way out so that you may be able to bear it.
We are not alone in our temptations.

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Amen, we are never alone in our temptations. The important thing, which can take a lot of practice (haha), is to learn to turn to God in the moments when temptation to sin arises.

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