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A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Feb 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Lyndsey-937558 said: If there are members of the Church who are honest enough to admit that there are areas of Churc...
(Quote) Lyndsey-937558 said:

If there are members of the Church who are honest enough to admit that there are areas of Church teaching that they struggle with, then their openness is courageous. With God's grace and support of other, compassionate Catholics who will accept these people where they are in their faith journey be alongside them as they question, I believe they can be helped to reach a deeper understanding and acceptance of Church teaching.

If we insist on doctrinal rigidity, there's a real risk of falling into a trap that Christ warned us against: that of insisting on following the letter of the law (like the Pharisees) rather than taking on board the law in the spirit of compassion.

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What you said is true but Jesus also told them to listen to what they say but don't do as they do. Church teaching should always be shared or how will others who don't know, learn what the Church teaches. The problem is when someone trys to share the Church teachings they get accused of being holier then thou. We are called to share the word of God as well as the traditions as well. This is a hard thing to do in today's society. Sharing the faith is not easy any where today. i know it was hard for me to believe when I first came back to the faith about 8 years ago after being away for 25. But other peoples persistence made me look further into the Church. This was not easy and in my opion it never is for most.

Feb 26th 2013 new

I think that we can "minister" to people one by one as we encounter them here on CM or in the real world.

I think one thing that might get people's attention is if they are not free to marry, or do not accept the church's teachings on sexual morality, if they communicate and want to start a relationship with someone is free/does accept, and that person has to then point out these serious differences, and why they do not feel they can communciate further or take the contact to actually meeting or dating, that would be a message to that person--these things matter, they are important to other Catholics, and implicitly, saying you would be well served to look harder at these issues.

But I am disturbed at the suggestion that the OP here was wrong to post what she thinks. She is entitled to her opinion and if others don't like to read it, then don't read it.

Maybe there is a place in the cyberworld for a "free to marry" and "faithful to all the teaching of the magisterium" catholic dating website, and a sworn to adherence is part of the "price" of admission. But that is not CM, and seems it never will be.

CM, in addition to being the fine ministry it is, is also a product in a marketplace. It is not really for us to tell CM how to run their business. This is what is available, along with a few others Catholic dating sites.

My advice is make it work for you, by communicating with those who seem to share your views (be it as to who is free to date, all the teachings of the church, the latin mass, or whatever). And then with charity "ignore" the rest (telling them politely you are looking for something different, explaining or not explaining, and letting them figure it out).

Feb 26th 2013 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: Jesus never instructed us to put up a "K...
(Quote) David-364112 said:


Jesus never instructed us to put up a "Keep Out" sign on the church door or in any fellowship or community such as this. The religious skunks of his day criticized Jesus for eating and drinkers with publicans and tax collectors. But he made himself availale to those who most needed his love and truth. The longer people stay on CM, the more likely they are to come to accept Catholic teachings on sexual m,orality. many lives have been changed by the discussions on these forums. Someone who's obviously provacative and intends to disrupt or disparage the faith should be dealt with, but otherwise, why bar people who may receive a greta benefit by being here?


We've been over these 7 quesions a zillion times before. it's an endless circular discussion that brings out the worst in many. The questions are imperfect. They are a starting point, not "game over". "Accept" and "follow" are two very different things: I've met 4/7's who live much holier lives than some 7/7's. Keep that in mind.




As for the scandals, we will always have these. We're not living in an age of moral decline - instead we live in a media-saturated age. This means that sex scandals get reported rather than buried. IMO, this is a good thing. Sunlight and fresh air are the best disinfectants. The Church's scandals are best dealt with out in the open rather than being hushed up. We see where hushing things up got us. It caused even greater and continuing harm.


What do we, as faithful Catholics do? We pray. We love. We live right. We do not scold. We do not judge. We do not get discouraged. We examine our own consciences to see how we fall (far) short of the life God wants us to live. If we do not sin against chastity (as often or badly as others), we may still sin greatly through pride, self-righteosness, lack of charity or empathy for others, ignoring our interior life, glutony, sloth, anger, envy, or sitting through Mass thinking badly of others around us.


The only thing we can do is to be holy and faithful. God will take care of the rest.





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Rock on David I agree and have experienced both. Thanks..Jane

Feb 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Thomas-699657 said: That's exactly it, it has been happened before and is on it's way again. Our society is ...
(Quote) Thomas-699657 said:

That's exactly it, it has been happened before and is on it's way again. Our society is in another moral decline again. Some of us think we still have a chance to change that and think if we enlighten each other, we can learn from each other. Who knows maybe if we learn enough from each other, we can learn how to show others what is happening to our society and maybe prevent it or at least save as many souls as possible. Also don't people have the rite to vent there concerns to others to see what they think. If Catholics don't try to change this moral decline it won't change and it will get a lot harder for anyone to be Catholic. Saints have rose up against it before and have given there lives to stop it. Bad things happen while good people sit by and let them happen. Well so is everyone doing there dim bulb best so respect that.

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We change things by living well ourselves, loving God, and remaining steadfastly faithful. Once in a while we say things too, but mostly we lead by example.

Feb 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Jan-672216 said: Yes I agree Naomi - education is crucial. And individual Catholics are just as repsonsible...
(Quote) Jan-672216 said:

Yes I agree Naomi - education is crucial. And individual Catholics are just as repsonsible, if not more so, for learning what the Catholic faith really teaches and stands for as their parish priest is to teach them I would think. Learning and teaching the truth in love - can't divorce the two!

In terms of my question though, which may not have been presented very clearly, I was wondering if changes on Catholic Match specifically might help build up our Church - such as screening potential members based on their intent to be faithful to the Magisterial teachings of the Church, and of asking potential members to affirm they are really free to date to begin with.

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Oh, I see what you mean.

As a 7/7 I do cringe a little inside when I see people have 5/7 or something, but I don't think its right to weed them out. Who knows, they might read something here that nags their soul a little to seek out why they are in error. Even selecting those answers could maybe ping their soul a bit.

Obviously there's something abut their faith that encourages them to sign up to a Catholic singles' site?

I wouldn't mind a short answer section where they could expand on why they aren't 7/7.

Feb 26th 2013 new

I think if there were a "comment" section it would be a place to say whatever you want about the 7/7--that it really matters to you, why you are not, etc. Just a comments section where you can explain if you so desire. Or not.

Feb 26th 2013 new

Whenever I see someone who is not a 7/7, I pray for them and move on. If most of us 7/7s are living our lives as holy and chaste individuals, our prayers for them will be powerful before the Lord. In one case, I asked the person if they would be willing to be convinced to the contrary of what they believed. Maybe this is a good challenge for other 7/7s.

On another note, I was contacted by a Divorced. I didn't like it, but prayed for that person and moved on. It was my *personal* belief that I should not join this site until I received my annulment.


In Christ through Mary-


Craig

Feb 26th 2013 new

One of my very good friends saw someone's profile on here and he agreed with all the Church teachings except for the one about contraception. What she did was send him a link to a 23-page paper about why Church teaching on contraception is correct and simply said, "I like your profile. I think we could be really good friends. Here's this paper that you should read." He read it, and it changed his mind completely. Now, they've been married for two years. biggrin


If anything, having Catholics in all kinds of walks of life here is more chance to evangelize. 7/7s can learn from 4/7s and vice versa. There is truth in all of God's creation.

Feb 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: For the remainder of this response, I use the term 'divorced' to refer only t...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

For the remainder of this response, I use the term 'divorced' to refer only to anyone who has obtained a civil divorce or annulment of marriage who has not obtained a decree of nullity from A catholic marriage tribunal and whose ex-spuse is still alive.

The CM owners have made it clear for as long as I have been on the site (almost 9 years) that it is not intended to be strictly a dating site. The site has a variety of features that are conducive to platonic fellowship and faith development that don't' involve participating in the matching/dating functions.

It is not uncommon for members to come to accept teachings of the Church as a result of their interactions with other CM members, either one-on-one or through the forums.

Discussing the morality of dating by those who are divorced is complicated by the fact that the term 'dating' has a wide range of meanings, from very casual and strictly platonic to romantic. If one is not careful to limit the term somewhat precisely, the discussion is almost guaranteed to be derailed in rather short order by those more intent on justifying their own behavior or beliefs than on understanding Church teachings.

Finally, it is important to realize that the answers to the seven faith questions do not accurately reflect the person's beliefs a fair amount of the time. Some don't understand the Church's teachings. Some intentionally answer Yes on points they do not accept because it is the politically correct answer. Some answer No for beliefs they do accept because they feel to do otherwise will mislead others about their past behavior. (Yes, I know this is not what the questions ask; however, over the years many people have reported having answered this way.)

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( Praying ) Amen to that Brother! (amen to that) I agree with ya 100%

Feb 26th 2013 new

:

(Quote) David-364112 said: Jesus never instructed us to put up a "K...
(Quote) David-364112 said:


Jesus never instructed us to put up a "Keep Out" sign on the church door or in any fellowship or community such as this. The religious skunks of his day criticized Jesus for eating and drinkers with publicans and tax collectors. But he made himself availale to those who most needed his love and truth. The longer people stay on CM, the more likely they are to come to accept Catholic teachings on sexual m,orality. many lives have been changed by the discussions on these forums. Someone who's obviously provacative and intends to disrupt or disparage the faith should be dealt with, but otherwise, why bar people who may receive a greta benefit by being here?


We've been over these 7 quesions a zillion times before. it's an endless circular discussion that brings out the worst in many. The questions are imperfect. They are a starting point, not "game over". "Accept" and "follow" are two very different things: I've met 4/7's who live much holier lives than some 7/7's. Keep that in mind.




As for the scandals, we will always have these. We're not living in an age of moral decline - instead we live in a media-saturated age. This means that sex scandals get reported rather than buried. IMO, this is a good thing. Sunlight and fresh air are the best disinfectants. The Church's scandals are best dealt with out in the open rather than being hushed up. We see where hushing things up got us. It caused even greater and continuing harm.


What do we, as faithful Catholics do? We pray. We love. We live right. We do not scold. We do not judge. We do not get discouraged. We examine our own consciences to see how we fall (far) short of the life God wants us to live. If we do not sin against chastity (as often or badly as others), we may still sin greatly through pride, self-righteosness, lack of charity or empathy for others, ignoring our interior life, glutony, sloth, anger, envy, or sitting through Mass thinking badly of others around us.


The only thing we can do is to be holy and faithful. God will take care of the rest.





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I couldn't have Said it Better Myself!! clap

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