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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Your internal or external reaction if early on (first date or a little before or after that) the other party says, "I don't respond well to criticism." scratchchin

Feb 27th 2013 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: Your internal or external reaction if early on (first date or a little before or after that) the o...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

Your internal or external reaction if early on (first date or a little before or after that) the other party says, "I don't respond well to criticism."

--hide--



Hi John! I'm not sure I understand your post. Could you add a few more details? Chelle

Feb 27th 2013 new

1. I would assume I had said something offensive (wouldn't be the first time) and would apologize.
2. I would suspect the person was very touchy and keep my eyes open for unreasonable sensitivity.
3. If I was feeling really smart alecky I might say, "That's because you've never had any from ME!" Battling eyelashes

Feb 27th 2013 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: Your internal or external reaction if early on (first date or a little before or after that) the o...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

Your internal or external reaction if early on (first date or a little before or after that) the other party says, "I don't respond well to criticism."

--hide--

In my head:

"You'll respond even less well to threats".

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I offend your delicate sensitivities, your majesty?"

Out of my mouth:

"Ah... what do you mean?"

Feb 27th 2013 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: Your internal or external reaction if early on (first date or a little before or after that) the o...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

Your internal or external reaction if early on (first date or a little before or after that) the other party says, "I don't respond well to criticism."

--hide--


Well.... I am heavily phlegmatic and don't respond well to criticism.. Which is almost laughable because I was married to two men who I suspect were some combination of melancholic/choleric and all they did was criticise me.. I withdraw in my shell in that environment..

Feb 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: (Quote) John-184825 said: Your internal or external reaction if early on (...
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said:

Quote:
John-184825 said:

Your internal or external reaction if early on (first date or a little before or after that) the other party says, "I don't respond well to criticism."


In my head:

"You'll respond even less well to threats".

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I offend your delicate sensitivities, your majesty?"

Out of my mouth:

"Ah... what do you mean?"

--hide--

laughing laughing laughing rolling eyes The thoughts in your head crack me up, Naomi, thanks for the giggle. hug

Feb 27th 2013 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: Your internal or external reaction if early on (first date or a little before or after that) the o...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

Your internal or external reaction if early on (first date or a little before or after that) the other party says, "I don't respond well to criticism."

--hide--

"well you certainly picked a fine time to tell me"... laughing laughing laughing

Feb 27th 2013 new

I wonder if that's a big red flag or a little one. Either way, we should all be open to constructive criticism. After all, sometimes someone will see something that we don't. However, criticism, when it is constant and/or belittling can mean abuse and that is a big red flag.

Feb 27th 2013 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: Your internal or external reaction if early on (first date or a little before or after that) the o...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

Your internal or external reaction if early on (first date or a little before or after that) the other party says, "I don't respond well to criticism."

--hide--


boggled My internal reaction would be asking myself what have I said that he think I'm criticising him? I better ask him and find out. It could be that someone had done that to him previously and just giving a warning, and he may not be referring to me or what I've said.
scratchchin My external reaction would be that I will politely respond to him in a form of a question and say: "I must have said something wrong, would you care telling me exactly what have I said that offended you?" I think that will make him open up and tell me if it's about someone he dated previously or it's about what I said, and if it's the latter that's the time I'll say "I didn't intend to criticize you in any way, I'm sorry if I offended you". That will probably clear the air and eliminate the negative vibes. If that person is really a practicing Catholic then he will accept my apology and move on to the next conversation. I think it's always better to be polite and be humble...practice humility...it's the number one in The Beatitudes. So it's best to apologize honestly when you offended someone. If they accept your apology it's good, but if not, be calm and pray for them. Having said that, if he/she is really over sensitive and onion-skin-thin, that would be the last I will communicate with that person but I still have to pray for him.

Feb 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Chelle-924354 said:Hi John! I'm not sure I understand your post. Could you add a few more details? Chelle <...
(Quote) Chelle-924354 said:

Hi John! I'm not sure I understand your post. Could you add a few more details? Chelle

--hide--
Hi Chelle,

I did not give much context other than that the time was "early on" and context can make a big difference; for instance, if the other party is clearly talking about his working environment the situation is quite different from where he seems to be letting you know that he is very sensitive or hot-headed in general. I left out any context thinking that various replies would include the different contexts that came to the minds of different responders. One member might write a post that such a no-criticism remark would preclude a lot of the how-I-really-feel communication needed for a relationship. Another person might interpret the comment as an unfriendly warning. Still another might see these words as an praiseworthy admission by the other party that he has a real weakness and is honest enough from the start to make it known as a defect.

In any case I think that it is good to keep in mind that it might be hard for a real, deep relationship ever to develop if either party is overly sensitive even to mild criticism. Said differently, if we clearly see that we can't accept any negative criticism, we should know that such a trait makes any kind of depth and honesty in a relationship impossible.

Interesting the same applies to the opposite extreme of being a doormat, but I won't elaborate on that lest I be criticized for writing too much. eyepopping wide eyed

John

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