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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people under 45. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

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What happens when you feel you are young of soul and old body wise, or at least your age is incriminating and offensive towards a young counterpart? When you can't stand comuning with an elders subjects in a adult conference and feel you are better off with the youngsters 18 up and are rejected just because...? I have expirienced this more than once and just a day or so with a member here that flatly said (And I quoat) I was to her understanding to old to be making contact with her. I still can't come over the fact that I can't find a beautiful frienship and if life is as nice as they paint it a deep marrige in love, understanding in God's ways. I still am convinced I can let out that hidden charm of my 20's without scareing them off with my age, allthough I hate to admit it seems evident I have a strong enemy my almost 50. I am motivatedly impressed with the teens, twentys and maybe just some in the 30's but when life tells you likewise you feel so desperate and lonely without hope. It is then when you ask yourself.... What did i do wrong to deserve this punishment? or is it? What is your point of view? Thanks "Thunder Angel" Ralph wide eyed

Feb 28th 2013 new

In the interests of blatant honesty, because it comes across as a little creepy. Or that the fellow is after a "breeder", which is offensive.

Its fine to have friendships that spans the age bracket, but on a dating site? Unless you make it abundantly clear that you're only after friendship, a woman just over 18 might be a little put off by a man old enough to be her dad seeking her on a singles' site.

When I hear of a man late 40s early 50s hanging out with 18 - 25 year olds, I worry. A man in his late 40s has significantly more life experience, and at 18, a woman could be very naive, unaware of how easily it would be for the older gent to manipulate her, even if that's not his intention. In fact, on a Catholic site, most of those young ladies are very innocent some could be naive.

Sure, there are young women who are gold diggers, or who see the older chap as an easy mark, but on a Catholic site, I doubt the majority of young women fall into this catagory.

Of course, its a reflection of social status, isn't it? Most guys in their late 40s, early 50s tend to be in relationships, have had past relationships of some seriousness, ie. marriage, most have kids, most have responsibilities concerning other individuals. So how can a guy in his late 40s without these relationships get on well with others of his age, with whom he shares very little in common? Its probably normal that he'll seek out younger individuals.

It still raises considerable concerns, though.

And really, how many parents would be happy about their 18 year old daughter in a relationship with a man in his late 40s?

Sometimes, and through no fault of our own, life just doesn't work out the way we expect, just gotta roll with the punches. I can't really offer much advice on how to change you situation, short of you trying to find a way to better way to relate to women in your age bracket. Its too general, too unique, too many variables.

Good luck though, and may God gift you the discernment you require for your path.

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: In the interests of blatant honesty, because it comes across as a little creepy. Or that the fell...
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said:

In the interests of blatant honesty, because it comes across as a little creepy. Or that the fellow is after a "breeder", which is offensive.

Its fine to have friendships that spans the age bracket, but on a dating site? Unless you make it abundantly clear that you're only after friendship, a woman just over 18 might be a little put off by a man old enough to be her dad seeking her on a singles' site.

When I hear of a man late 40s early 50s hanging out with 18 - 25 year olds, I worry. A man in his late 40s has significantly more life experience, and at 18, a woman could be very naive, unaware of how easily it would be for the older gent to manipulate her, even if that's not his intention. In fact, on a Catholic site, most of those young ladies are very innocent some could be naive.

Sure, there are young women who are gold diggers, or who see the older chap as an easy mark, but on a Catholic site, I doubt the majority of young women fall into this catagory.

Of course, its a reflection of social status, isn't it? Most guys in their late 40s, early 50s tend to be in relationships, have had past relationships of some seriousness, ie. marriage, most have kids, most have responsibilities concerning other individuals. So how can a guy in his late 40s without these relationships get on well with others of his age, with whom he shares very little in common? Its probably normal that he'll seek out younger individuals.

It still raises considerable concerns, though.

And really, how many parents would be happy about their 18 year old daughter in a relationship with a man in his late 40s?

Sometimes, and through no fault of our own, life just doesn't work out the way we expect, just gotta roll with the punches. I can't really offer much advice on how to change you situation, short of you trying to find a way to better way to relate to women in your age bracket. Its too general, too unique, too many variables.

Good luck though, and may God gift you the discernment you require for your path.

--hide--


Well said Naomi and in a very charitable way. clap clap

It does come off as extremely creepy. I would think that you are too old for me and I am 37. If I was a man I would think that a woman 18-25 would be too young for me at 37. It is concerning to the point that I would challenge you to speak to your priest about it. I want to remain nice and I hope that i do not offend you but this is not normal. It is not normal for a 49 year old man to seeking women in the 18-25 age range. I wish you the best and would love to see you get companionship but I would be doing you a disservice if I said anything other than you may want to speak to a priest or professional about it. I am praying for you. Best of luck. Praying Praying rosary

Feb 28th 2013 new
It creeps people out because it comes across as if you are physically attracted only to very young women, including teenagers, even though you are almost 50. Why would you only be happy to be with such a young woman?
Feb 28th 2013 new

I've always thought that people who are creeped out by an age difference need to grow up.

How about if we welcome everyone in Christian charity?

You never know: the older person may turn out to be Prince(ss) Charming...or have a son/daughter who is! laughing lovestruck!

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: I've always thought that people who are creeped out by an age difference need to grow up....
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

I've always thought that people who are creeped out by an age difference need to grow up.

How about if we welcome everyone in Christian charity?

You never know: the older person may turn out to be Prince(ss) Charming...or have a son/daughter who is!

--hide--

This isn't a 40 year old guy and a 30 year old woman, its not even a 50 year old man and a 30 year old woman. The age difference here is 30 odd years. What if it was a 40 year old having attractions for a 10 year old? Or what if it was a 16 year old and a 46 yeard old? Would age matter then? 16 is the age of consent in a lot of places.

Charity aside, you know where I've heard the "I feel like only x age group understand me, even though I'm x + 30?" speech before?

From paedophiles.

Sure, that's not a nice thing for me to say, but Ralph does need to be talking to a priest/professional about this. It is not normal. And it is dangerous. And his mental and spiritual health are in serious danger from this. Not to mention his legal standing, what if he spent time with a girl who said was 18 and she was actually 15? I certainly can't tell the age difference very well in American teenagers.

Sometimes charity is a very bad thing indeed, especially when people are trying to dance around not offending others when sometimes a good kick in the pants is required.

Feb 28th 2013 new
(Quote) Marge-938695 said: I've always thought that people who are creeped out by an age difference need to grow up.How about ...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

I've always thought that people who are creeped out by an age difference need to grow up.

How about if we welcome everyone in Christian charity?

You never know: the older person may turn out to be Prince(ss) Charming...or have a son/daughter who is!

--hide--


Marge, I agree that some people are too rigid about their criteria. I'm fine with women dating older and younger men, and vice-versa. What seems different here is that Ralph is saying he ONLY likes teenagers and women in their 20's, even though he is almost 50. Women in their 30's might be too old for him, he thinks. I think it is fine to be tolerant of an age difference in a couple. If people go looking for love, are flexible in their criteria, and end up with someone significantly older or younger, I have no problem with that. I think that is great. But what has some people concerned here is a middle-aged man man saying he is NOT flexible in his criteria, and he ONLY wants teenaged or 20-something women. That seems a little off.

Ralph, I'm sorry if this sounds harsh. At the very least, you may need to adjust your thinking to be more realistic about your likely dating prospects.
Feb 28th 2013 new

How would it be if I, as a 49 year old woman, was going after 18 year old boys???? Sick.

When I was 18, I looked very young and it was not uncommon for 12-15 year old boys to take an interest in me and try to interest me in them -- no way! Such a difference in maturity, as well as interests, life experience, etc.


It is creepy when guys more than a few years years (ten??) older or younger take interest in dating me. And no way would I want my 19 year old daughter involved in anything with a guy over 25!!

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Ralph-850764 said: What happens when you feel you are young of soul and old body wise, or at least your age is incri...
(Quote) Ralph-850764 said:

What happens when you feel you are young of soul and old body wise, or at least your age is incriminating and offensive towards a young counterpart? When you can't stand comuning with an elders subjects in a adult conference and feel you are better off with the youngsters 18 up and are rejected just because...? I have expirienced this more than once and just a day or so with a member here that flatly said (And I quoat) I was to her understanding to old to be making contact with her. I still can't come over the fact that I can't find a beautiful frienship and if life is as nice as they paint it a deep marrige in love, understanding in God's ways. I still am convinced I can let out that hidden charm of my 20's without scareing them off with my age, allthough I hate to admit it seems evident I have a strong enemy my almost 50. I am motivatedly impressed with the teens, twentys and maybe just some in the 30's but when life tells you likewise you feel so desperate and lonely without hope. It is then when you ask yourself.... What did i do wrong to deserve this punishment? or is it? What is your point of view? Thanks "Thunder Angel" Ralph

--hide--

Dating involves two people. You seem to want to be free to choose the age of those you are interested in without questioning; however, you are questioning those whose choice on the same matter does not correlate with yours. Why should your choice trump theirs?

Someone who is 20 could be your 10-20th child -- almost your grandchild. If you honestly feel your maturity level at 49 is comparable to someone in their 20s, you might want to give careful reflection as to why and what this might indicate. (This is a rhetorical question; I am not asking you to discuss this in a public forum.)

Feb 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: I've always thought that people who are creeped out by an age difference need to grow up....
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

I've always thought that people who are creeped out by an age difference need to grow up.

How about if we welcome everyone in Christian charity?

You never know: the older person may turn out to be Prince(ss) Charming...or have a son/daughter who is!

--hide--

You raise a good point, Marge. It is certainly possible that two individuals of widely different ages may be well-matched. The accounts I have seen indicate Tony Randall and his second wife were very happy together during a 9 year marriage despite a 50 year age difference (75/25) when they were married.

On the other hand, I think there is a significant difference between one who is open to accepting such a relationship that comes their way and one who is searching primarily or exclusively for someone young enough to be their child or grandchild.

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