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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Praises Fazes

Mar 1st 2013 new

How would you adjust your method of communication if you found early on that a dating partner felt uncomfortable with any kind of significant praise? It is assumed that no dealing-breaking negatives have been found yet.

Mar 1st 2013 new
(Quote) John-184825 said: How would you adjust your method of communication if you found early on that a dating partner felt uncomfortable...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

How would you adjust your method of communication if you found early on that a dating partner felt uncomfortable with any kind of significant praise? It is assumed that no dealing-breaking negatives have been found yet.

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I would ask her why that is. She may feel uncomfortable simply because she doesn't know you well. On the other hand, if she can't tolerate praise from anyone, it could be a self-esteem issue, which would raise a red flag for me.
Mar 1st 2013 new

Could be nothing more than humility...a little misplaced where a simple "thanks" would remove the issue, but still just humility. She'll get more comfortable with it as time passes. Perhaps you're the first to compliment her.

Mar 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Brad-937504 said: I would ask her why that is. She may feel uncomfortable simply because she doesn't know you well. On ...
(Quote) Brad-937504 said: I would ask her why that is. She may feel uncomfortable simply because she doesn't know you well. On the other hand, if she can't tolerate praise from anyone, it could be a self-esteem issue, which would raise a red flag for me.
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I was not thinking of someone who'd feel uncomfortable with minor compliments such as, "The quality of the food here shows that your choice of this restaurant was right on", but rather of someone who had achieved a lot by effort, but didn't know how to react to people who voiced more that brief kudos about it.

Mar 1st 2013 new
(Quote) John-184825 said: How would you adjust your method of communication if you found early on that a dating partner felt uncomfortable...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

How would you adjust your method of communication if you found early on that a dating partner felt uncomfortable with any kind of significant praise? It is assumed that no dealing-breaking negatives have been found yet.

--hide--


She may be the type to be more comfortable giving than receiving. I tend to be that way myself so when someone says something or does something to acknowledge what I have done I tend to shy away. Over time she will appreciate your sincerity in complimenting her.
Mar 1st 2013 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: How would you adjust your method of communication if you found early on that a dating partner felt...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

How would you adjust your method of communication if you found early on that a dating partner felt uncomfortable with any kind of significant praise? It is assumed that no dealing-breaking negatives have been found yet.

--hide--

John words of affirmation is one of the five love languages ...I guess you only need to focus on the other four biggrin

Mar 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Maggie-918313 said: Could be nothing more than humility...a little misplaced where a simple "thanks" would...
(Quote) Maggie-918313 said:

Could be nothing more than humility...a little misplaced where a simple "thanks" would remove the issue, but still just humility. She'll get more comfortable with it as time passes. Perhaps you're the first to compliment her.

--hide--
I can see the humility angle. Someone never knows the degree to which factors beyond his control, such as a naturally-endowed high level of energy or a significantly disease-resistant set of genes, plays in his accomplishments compared to that of the average person. With this in mind, a person might have some doubt about how much of the credit actually belongs to him and thus feel uncomfortable in receiving a higher level of compliments than he deserves.

Mar 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Brenda-74660 said: She may be the type to be more comfortable giving than receiving. I tend to be that way myself s...
(Quote) Brenda-74660 said:

She may be the type to be more comfortable giving than receiving. I tend to be that way myself so when someone says something or does something to acknowledge what I have done I tend to shy away. Over time she will appreciate your sincerity in complimenting her.
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The reaction of "shying away", as you put it, is one instance about which I was asking; that is, asking how to deal with such a person. Thanks for your advice in that regard.

Mar 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Al-939544 said: John words of affirmation is one of the five love languages ...I guess you only need to foc...
(Quote) Al-939544 said:

John words of affirmation is one of the five love languages ...I guess you only need to focus on the other four

--hide--
Good point, but I wonder how much the term, "words of affirmation" are referring to things other than praise.

Mar 1st 2013 new
(Quote) John-184825 said: The reaction of "shying away", as you put it, is one instance about which I was asking; that is, askin...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

The reaction of "shying away", as you put it, is one instance about which I was asking; that is, asking how to deal with such a person. Thanks for your advice in that regard.

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You are most welcome! Losing my son has made me much more accepting of compliments and allowing others to reciprocate by helping me. I may always be most comfortable giving but at times it is nice to receive.....
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