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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

sublte warning for the guys

Mar 8th 2013 new

The greatest cowardice for a man is to
awaken love within the heart of a woman
without ever having the intention
to love her back !

This is emotional abuse in disguise !!
Be ever so careful , when holding
her heart , if she gives it to you !

Mar 8th 2013 new

Hi Casey.

Been there, done that, got the Band-Aid. Life is filled with pain, but that doesn't mean all pain is bad. Love also pierces the heart.

In my case, I wouldn't blame the men I've let into my heart. I am an all or nothing person. If I pursue an interest in a man, I don't hold back: I show the good / the bad / the ugly sides. It does not mean that I go in blindfolded, though. Maybe it's just the way women are built, I don't know. I cannot generalize.

Thank you for the warning for the men, which is good advise for women, too. You get a Gold Star!

hug Mari

Mar 8th 2013 new

Been there way more than I want to admit..

Mar 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Casey-637092 said: The greatest cowardice for a man is to awaken love within the heart of a womanwithout eve...
(Quote) Casey-637092 said:

The greatest cowardice for a man is to
awaken love within the heart of a woman
without ever having the intention
to love her back !

This is emotional abuse in disguise !!
Be ever so careful , when holding
her heart , if she gives it to you !

--hide--


Thank you, Casey. theheart

Mar 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Casey-637092 said: The greatest cowardice for a man is to awaken love within the heart of a womanwithout eve...
(Quote) Casey-637092 said:

The greatest cowardice for a man is to
awaken love within the heart of a woman
without ever having the intention
to love her back !

This is emotional abuse in disguise !!
Be ever so careful , when holding
her heart , if she gives it to you !

--hide--
Very true Casey. I think it's easy for men of this day and time to do exactly what you are saying. Online dating, emails and texting are great and convenient but it's not personal. We tend to get straight to the point and even shorten words to save time. I believe it desensitizes us and kind of makes us think that the person we are communicating with can handle anything we put out there. Hopefully men will come around to the fact that they are men and start acting as such.

Mar 9th 2013 new

Casey,

Thanks for the great post. I'm always impressed with whatever you put out there for us to ponder. Hope everyone reads this one.

theheart

Mar 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Casey-637092 said: The greatest cowardice for a man is to awaken love within the heart of a womanwithout eve...
(Quote) Casey-637092 said:

The greatest cowardice for a man is to
awaken love within the heart of a woman
without ever having the intention
to love her back !

This is emotional abuse in disguise !!
Be ever so careful , when holding
her heart , if she gives it to you !

--hide--

TKC!

Great words to ponder Case...

It's the great temptation of online relationships... Instead of investing time & work towards seeking the depths of a person... There's always another profile... *sigh* rose

Mar 9th 2013 new
(Quote) Casey-637092 said: The greatest cowardice for a man is to awaken love within the heart of a womanwithout ever having the ...
(Quote) Casey-637092 said:

The greatest cowardice for a man is to
awaken love within the heart of a woman
without ever having the intention
to love her back !

This is emotional abuse in disguise !!
Be ever so careful , when holding
her heart , if she gives it to you !

--hide--
Thank you from my heart. I just ended a 5 month relationship with a man who told me that his therapist diagnosed him with narcissistic personality disorder. Of course, he waited until the 5 th month to reveal this to me. After doing the research, these people are incapable of ever loving anyone, ever. They put you through 3 phases during the relationship...first, they act as if they are the men we have been waiting for our whole lives, God sent, too good to be true. Then once your hooked they devalue you...cut your self esteem all up, then they discard you. It's the most unimaginable emotional abuse you can go through. These men tend to be very good looking, successful, intelligent, savvy, charismatic. And they are pathological liars and cheaters. They have no idea they are doing it, it's just in their personality. If you ever start dating someone and think this man is too good to be true, then go to the website....getoveranarcissist.com. Look for these phases and if they are portraying any of the signs listed on the website.....Run, leave, get out fast. It will be hard to do because they are great manipulators. Just a word of advice in this dating craziness world. Peace and love to all.
Mar 10th 2013 new

(Quote) Casey-637092 said: The greatest cowardice for a man is to awaken love within the heart of a womanwithout eve...
(Quote) Casey-637092 said:

The greatest cowardice for a man is to
awaken love within the heart of a woman
without ever having the intention
to love her back !

This is emotional abuse in disguise !!
Be ever so careful , when holding
her heart , if she gives it to you !

--hide--


Thanks, Casey! I saw this quote somewhere else & it was attributed to Bob Marley. I saw the truth in it, but I didn't recognize it as emotional abuse.


Thanks also to the others who responded, especially with the info about the narcisstic personality.


I haven't been on the dating scene for ever so long, so whatever help I can get is appreciated.

Mar 10th 2013 new
(Quote) Laura-857740 said: Thank you from my heart. I just ended a 5 month relationship with a man who told me that his therapist diagnosed ...
(Quote) Laura-857740 said: Thank you from my heart. I just ended a 5 month relationship with a man who told me that his therapist diagnosed him with narcissistic personality disorder. Of course, he waited until the 5 th month to reveal this to me. After doing the research, these people are incapable of ever loving anyone, ever. They put you through 3 phases during the relationship...first, they act as if they are the men we have been waiting for our whole lives, God sent, too good to be true. Then once your hooked they devalue you...cut your self esteem all up, then they discard you. It's the most unimaginable emotional abuse you can go through. These men tend to be very good looking, successful, intelligent, savvy, charismatic. And they are pathological liars and cheaters. They have no idea they are doing it, it's just in their personality. If you ever start dating someone and think this man is too good to be true, then go to the website....getoveranarcissist.com. Look for these phases and if they are portraying any of the signs listed on the website.....Run, leave, get out fast. It will be hard to do because they are great manipulators. Just a word of advice in this dating craziness world. Peace and love to all.
--hide--


First of all, wonderful post KC very insightful, with few words you said a lot. smile

Laura, good for you, it means you were a healthy person to be able to leave the relationship after only 5 months. Usually the non BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)or non NPD(narcissistic Personality Disorder) got sucked in the relationship. Another name to what you described is the cycle of abuse were the victim, not knowing what is going on, lives in the FOG (fear obligation and guilt). So many victims stay years in the relationship for many reasons like fear to leave, low-self esteem, children, finances, hope of change, outside pressure..... Another site very helful is bpdfamily.com

My advice for any friend reading my post is to be Healthy before getting in any relationship to be able to protect your boundaries and have a high self esteem, to be able to be assertive and believe that it is ok to say no... Seek a therapist if needed. So when you are out there dating you will be able to catch the signs and red flags before you get stuck :). A relationship is as healthy as the least one of the couple. With your work on yourself, it is very crucial to allow God to be the Leader. theheart

Two books are very helpful; Stop Walking on Eggshells by Randi Kreger and Paul Mason and

I Hate You don't Leave Me by Jerold J Kreisman and Hal Straus

TKC rose

Therese
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