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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Mar 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Kate-912649 said: In my opinion, if you want to be more than friends, make sure you let her know. If al...
(Quote) Kate-912649 said:


In my opinion, if you want to be more than friends, make sure you let her know. If all you want to be is friends, then let her know that. If you want more than that ... don't keep it a secret, whether you tell her by your actions or your words.

flowers are a nice touch. Orange roses or some really great orchids. something extraordinary.

--hide--


That's good advice, Kate. I have been in a relationship that did not have a clear definition. I thought I heard him make statements that alluded to his wanting more than just friendship. I, at that moment, wanted to take it slow & know him better through friendship. I guess I showed that I was heading more into the realm of romance which he promptly put a stop to with a "just friends" conversation. Set me back some, I'll tell you!!!

Mar 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Cheryl-409772 said: That's a good point. I think that is why we shouldn't be friends with someone where ther...
(Quote) Cheryl-409772 said:

That's a good point. I think that is why we shouldn't be friends with someone where there is no potential for more....it could lead to harm. I heard this once......since being friends may lead to more feelings, pick friends who are equally "yoked". Also, they have to be a potential, since I can't see being good friends with someone who is in a relationship with someone else...that could lead to adultery.

--hide--


I really don't see a problems being friends with someone if that is mutually agreed upon. Once that friend becomes involved in a romantic relationship with someone else, then the friendship changes forever & more than likely will terminate.

Mar 9th 2013 new

I doubt there's one conclusion for every scenario. I prefer to address my interest as soon as it is comfortable, whether that's with someone I have known all my life or someone I've known a week. If I'm feeling something, I don't want to deny that, but I need to know where the man stands to know if there is any hope in pursuing that connection. I think that bringing it up sooner rather than later is more honest; the other person (be it man or woman) may feel something similar but be too shy/nervous/cautious to put it out there. Or you might find out that the other person doesn't think of you in that way now, but will make an honest effort to find something if it's there. Or you could save yourself a lot of time and heartache by discovering that this person is unattainable.

Friend Zone isn't permanent though; I fell in love with my longest friend and we dated for a year, and now we're back to friends.

Mar 10th 2013 new

(Quote) Christy-929874 said: I doubt there's one conclusion for every scenario. I prefer to address my interest as soon ...
(Quote) Christy-929874 said:

I doubt there's one conclusion for every scenario. I prefer to address my interest as soon as it is comfortable, whether that's with someone I have known all my life or someone I've known a week. If I'm feeling something, I don't want to deny that, but I need to know where the man stands to know if there is any hope in pursuing that connection. I think that bringing it up sooner rather than later is more honest; the other person (be it man or woman) may feel something similar but be too shy/nervous/cautious to put it out there. Or you might find out that the other person doesn't think of you in that way now, but will make an honest effort to find something if it's there. Or you could save yourself a lot of time and heartache by discovering that this person is unattainable.

Friend Zone isn't permanent though; I fell in love with my longest friend and we dated for a year, and now we're back to friends.

--hide--

clap clap clap Great post, Christy! I agree, 'friend zone' isn't permanent. Friendships sometimes DO blossom into romance. heart rose

Addressing it as soon as we realize there is a desire to be more than 'just friends' is a must! CLEARLY spell out your interest or intent - no assumptions, mind-reading, games, or analyzing what the other person is thinking, doing, feeling or why. Bite the bullet, just speak up! If a romance is going to have ANY chance to develop, SOMEONE has to say SOMETHING to get it rolling, right? wink Besides, if there is NO chance - if the other person isn't interested in a romance with me (and please remember - the reason does NOT matter - it's their choice, period, don't dwell on it) - I'd rather know it sooner rather than later too. If that's the case - don't get mad, don't assign blame, don't think there is something wrong, misleading, or dishonest about either of you, and don't try to change their mind - just accept it and move forward towards the right one for you. hug

Mar 10th 2013 new

So there is hope, then?

Mar 11th 2013 new

Not in your case, Carl. laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing
Sorry, sweetheart, you asked for that.

(For anyone who doesn't know, Carl and I have been acquainted for more than seven years.)

Mar 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Carl-98335 said: So there is hope, then?
(Quote) Carl-98335 said:

So there is hope, then?

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Carl - There is always hope! crossfingers Just keep open and honest communication, and be clear you treasure the friendship no matter if it goes beyond that or not. Some folks can't emotionally settle for friendship when they feel more and the other person doesn't. If it's awkward, need to let it go.

Keep your eyes open though - friendship isn't exclusive. We ARE allowed to have several friends in our lives. hug Don't put all your eggs in one basket hoping for more to develop with a crush - it may never happen.

Mar 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Carl-98335 said: So there is hope, then?
(Quote) Carl-98335 said:

So there is hope, then?

--hide--

I'd say there is about 0-5 percent chance of something working out for you and that will depend greatly on her reasoning for putting you in the "Friend zone" in the first place. 0-1 percent if her reasoning had something to do with you personally or 2-5 percent if it was because of things going on in her life.

I think the best thing to do in these tpyes of situations is just pressure a good friendship with this woman and be opened to any possibilities and of course pray for guidance.

Mar 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Kevin-40666 said: - or at least medium-rare.
(Quote) Kevin-40666 said:

- or at least medium-rare.

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Well done, Kevin....

Mar 12th 2013 new

I don't know that it matters which comes first: freindship or romance. But I think they are both necessary. I ain't gonna marry you unless I think you can be my best friend. hug

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