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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

I found lots of good food for thought in this article: www.christianitytoday.com

It discusses the idea of keeping options open mentioned in a previous thread, but not just with dating/relationships. It also covers it from a biblical perspective and explores how the tendency to not commit can enter many areas of our lives including where we put our time and attention.

I'm not sure I'd go so far to say indecision is always worshipping the idol of open options, but gosh this article had some good food for thought!

The article is a bit long, but well worth the read. Here are some bits I found particularly interesting:


"How different are we Christians in the 21st century? Would you prefer to make an ironclad, no-turning-back choice, or one you could back out of if need be? Do you ever find that you're afraid to commit? Do you reply to party invitations with a "maybe" rather than a "yes" or "no"? Do you like to keep your smartphone switched on at all times, even in meetings, so that you are never fully present at any given moment? Will you focus on the person you're talking to after a church service, or will you look over her shoulder for a better conversation partner?"


" What if we take the same multiplicity of trivial options we have at Starbucks, and apply them to bigger questions: where we should work, where we should study, where we should live, whom we should marry, or whom we should worship? It seems that the more options we have, the more afraid we are of choosing. We become enslaved to being noncommittal. We don't want to make a mistake or cut down our options. In fact, we may become so fearful of making a choice, we simply refuse to choose."


"We worship the god of open options. And he is killing us. He kills our relationships, because he tells us it's better not to become too involved. He kills our service to others because he tells us it might be better to keep our weekends to ourselves. He kills our giving because he tells us these are uncertain financial times and you never know when you might need that money. He kills our joy in Christ because he tells us it's better not to be thought of as too spiritual."


"The living God, the loving, triune God, did not create us to keep our options open. He didn't create us to live in fear of making a choice. He didn't create us to be like Al Pacino's character in the 1995 movie Heat, a man who vows never to get involved in a relationship he can't walk away from in 30 seconds. God created us to commit. To him, and to others. He created us to choose. It's right to be careful in our decision making, of course: to pray, to seek counsel from Scripture and from wise Christians. The bigger the decision, the more careful we should be.

But there comes a point when pausing becomes procrastination, when waiting is no longer wise. There comes a point when not to choose becomes idolatry. It becomes a lack of trust in the God who ordains the decisions we will make, gathers up the frayed ends, and works all things for our good and his glory.

Be wise, but then rest in God's total sovereignty and goodness, and choose. Commit. Make a decision. Be wholehearted and single-minded."


"The god of open options is a cruel and vindictive god. He will break your heart. He will not let anyone get too close. But at the same time, because he is so spiteful, he will not let anyone get too far away because that would mean they are no longer an option. On and on it continues, exhausting and frustrating and confusing and endless, pulling towards and then pushing away, like the tide on a beach, never finally committing one way or the other. We have been like the starving man sitting in front of an all-you-can-eat buffet, dying simply because he would not choose between the chicken and the shrimp."



May we all have the wisdom and courage to commit to whatever the Lord invites us to today! Peace!

Mar 12th 2013 new

That is absolutely brilliant, and I really encourage everyone to see how it applies to their own life, particularly one's vocation to marriage.

There are thousands of us sitting out here because people on the "other half" of the equation can't/don't want to/won't make a choice for marriage.

The "very good" is being sacrificed repeatedly on the altar of the search for the perfect, which will never be found.

Making no choice absolutely is a choice. It's choosing NOTHING over a very, very good something.

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