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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Just...frustrated.

Feb 25th 2013 new

Okay, I need to vent a little bit...


weeping weeping weeping weeping irked irked wide eyed wide eyed mischievous rolling eyes :faint:

There.

Seriously, the annulment process is weighing on me extremely heavily right now. My ex-husband is dating someone, apparently seriously, and I spent last weekend in Houston eating sushi for the first time...by myself. Again. All these cool new things I'm trying and doing...by myself. Yes, I'm going out, I'm trying to make a social life, but...I'm always by myself. It's more obvious now because I am in a different area than I was, and so the social network I'd built up is sort of unavailable some of the time. Don't get me wrong, I love my son, but he's six. I'm not hauling him out to the pub. I love church, but some of you have seen the other post - there aren't many people in our tiny parish that aren't married, so I end up as the "third wheel" a lot, or people try to set me up with the one other single person my age when I can't do that! I need some "grown-up time" now and then with people my own age. I try to stay patient and wait for things to start moving, but it's just awkward and somewhat disheartening when I go out to be by myself so much.

Any advice?

Feb 25th 2013 new

I know how you are feeling. I am in the same boat as you and doing the same thing you are. I just pray, try to be patient and have faith that all will work out as it should and when it should. I try to be positive and live one day at a time. I am thankful for everything I do have and try not to dwell on what I do not have or wish that I had.

Feb 25th 2013 new

Being a native Texan, I had to actually look up where you are! You are isolated by small towns but definitely in a beautiful part of the state. I am alone here in Lexington as well - having lost my Dad in 2008 and my oldest sister in July last year and my Mom in August of last year. I have a sister who has gone to the extreme opposite of me and my family that I almost feel orphaned. I decided that even alone I was going to put myself out there - to find new girlfriends and be around other people. I volunteered to be on Cathedral's anniversary committee, attended a Women's Magnificat Breakfast last Saturday where I walked into a room of about 150 women of which I knew not one soul (childcare was available). But, left making many acquaintances. It was good for my soul. The Cathedral is not a large church - but the breakfast was for the entire diocese. I have found that as I venture out to meet new people I am a happier person and people around me have noticed it. This is just what has worked for me. Pray about ways to meet new people - even women - so that you do not feel so alone. I will keep you in my prayers Praying hug

Feb 25th 2013 new

Well, maybe the Ladies Guild socials might be a good idea. They leave the guys at home so maybe I wouldn't feel so awkward, and I used to be pretty good at canned goods bingo at my Grandma's church in the summers. Maybe I can learn this Bunko game. :) I work with the youth groups but honestly, that's a lot like parenting or teaching, the kids are in my care so I have to restrain my wackiness a little and keep enough authority to make sure things happen as planned.

Thanks ladies, it's just worse since I started grad school because I am eating dinner by myself every night, and I grew up eating with my family. Part of it is I'm missing my son saying blessing for all of us at the table (my parents & brother) every night then all of us sitting and talking about something while we eat. I'm home on weekends but that's always busy with farm stuff or scouts or this last weekend I had to go to a conference. I always thought I was a dwarf but I guess I'm really a hobbit. :)

Feb 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Katherine-868943 said: I always thought I was a dwarf but I guess I'm really a hobbit. :)
(Quote) Katherine-868943 said:

I always thought I was a dwarf but I guess I'm really a hobbit. :)

--hide--


I'm a hobbit too! I see a really wonderful invisible man and we go places in my head. crazy

Yes, this is what waiting for the annulment decision does to a person...

To be honest, going out alone sucks. Pure and simple. But there are times when even this reclusive hobbitess has to bite the bullet and rub shoulders with other human beings. Part of the issue for me is the small pool of rabid Catholics around here. It seems no matter what event I go to (most recently, a viewing of the short film "Crescendo" produced by the maker of "Bella"), I see the same faces. That wouldn't be such a problem, except that my divorce caused a rift and the rumor mill has not quite choked on itself. muted

I've decided to suck it up and go to events anyway. Should I carry my decree of nullity in my purse in case I get caught sitting by a man? laughing

Feb 26th 2013 new

Hi Katherine,,

I see we are the same age :) ..i am also in the process of an annulment and just filed divorce papers ( here you need to be seperated 4 years before you can apply for a divorce)
I totally understand where you are comming from,the spare time i get can be a lonely time especially when the kids ( i have 3 amazing children) are in bed it would be so nice to have some1 to discuss how your day went with etc... I do have a great group of friends so when i do go out im ususally with them ( all of them are actually either married or in a relationship so i can empathise with you on third wheel but 9 times out of 10 its a good girly catch up..
I did however move away from home after my marriage broke down so i know what its like not to know people,,but time goes quick and look out for activities that you can bring you son to and you could meet other moms at or online for a single parent activites.. :) or a book club if you like reading,a gym .,drama group.. etc

Seeing ur post made me feel not so alone... biggrin

Feb 26th 2013 new

Well, I decided to let my wacky side out a little today - I check my facebook then turn it off before I do my spiritual reading for the day. So today, I changed my relationship status to "In an open relationship" and when it asks who it's with, I wrote "The Holy Trinity." I have never liked it saying "single" or "divorced" since the annulments up in the air, so here's my wacky solution. I'm just to the point where I want the process done, one way or the other. Anyway, hope you all are having a good day.

Mar 13th 2013 new
Thinking of you all. I am in the same situation --- filling out annulment papers and being alone at the times my sons visit their dad and his new live-in girlfriend. We live in a small town, and it is hard to be the odd woman out. I am praying for everyone. It is hard. I can say I have tried new things, met new people, and have had to become closer to God because of the sudden detour my life took 18 months ago. I have had a lot of comfort in a divorce recovery class. --- divorce care. There is a website. It's at a local church and is not a Catholic program, but it is Bible based and I found it to be helpful.
Mar 13th 2013 new
Hi, I am also having the same experience, you are not along. I feel the same way and I try to go out as much as I can with other girls, try not to be with couples bc at the end of the day there is nothing there for you. If you don't expose yourself to the world, people will not see you ( just like advertising) Also professional therapies are also very helpful. You are very important and Jesus loves YOU no matter what ANYBODY says.
Mar 13th 2013 new
(Quote) Katherine-868943 said: Well, maybe the Ladies Guild socials might be a good idea. They leave the guys at home so maybe I wouldn&#...
(Quote) Katherine-868943 said:

Well, maybe the Ladies Guild socials might be a good idea. They leave the guys at home so maybe I wouldn't feel so awkward, and I used to be pretty good at canned goods bingo at my Grandma's church in the summers. Maybe I can learn this Bunko game. :) I work with the youth groups but honestly, that's a lot like parenting or teaching, the kids are in my care so I have to restrain my wackiness a little and keep enough authority to make sure things happen as planned.

Thanks ladies, it's just worse since I started grad school because I am eating dinner by myself every night, and I grew up eating with my family. Part of it is I'm missing my son saying blessing for all of us at the table (my parents & brother) every night then all of us sitting and talking about something while we eat. I'm home on weekends but that's always busy with farm stuff or scouts or this last weekend I had to go to a conference. I always thought I was a dwarf but I guess I'm really a hobbit. :)

--hide--
Bunko is really easy and around me the women use it (or joke about using it) as an excuse to get together and have some wine or other adult beverage. In addition to the kids, find some adult group to join. Also around here there are "meet ups" which is a group for just about anything yo might have an interest in. Google can help you find one or 2 or 10 in your area that meets an interest. Meeting new friends can be like finding your prince ...... There might be some frogs along the way. I'm also trying to force myself to get out a bit more too.
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