Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free
A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Mar 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Bob-59786 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: I would tell adults to acknowledge their desire fo...
(Quote) Bob-59786 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:

I would tell adults to acknowledge their desire for sexual expression. Then I would tell them to Actively be about the business of making friends and dating and actively searching for a spouse. I would tell men to let that natural desire help him keep on track with this goal? Am I wrong? I would tell women to acknowledge and search.


I think those who marry, with the PRIMARY goal of having a regular sex partner, might windup in an unhappy marriage?

--hide--


People have got to be honest with themselves and not drag their feet, is one of the things I am saying. We are all given a certain amount of energy. The question is, how are we going to use it?

They have to be willing to find their best friend and willing to keep looking when doors do not open.

LOCKED
Mar 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: So, what is your best piece of advice to an adult trying to live a chaste and pure life ...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

So, what is your best piece of advice to an adult trying to live a chaste and pure life

I like your advice about a sacramental. I've got another one: take "straying" thoughts captive: acknowledge any sexual thoughts about another person (whether they are in your life already or the ficticious super-spouse for whom you are praying) as natural, God-given drives that are but a distant reflection of the yearning for communion with God that we all have. Then, take those thoughts and offer them to God with a prayer Praying for your future spouse (God-willing) that he/she is doing the same and remaining pure for you. I then try to turn those thoughts inside-out and figure out what I'm really wanting: could be that I'm lonely and need to call a friend for coffee, could be that I'm bored and need to do some spiritual reading, could be that I need to let out some creative or physical energy in the form of exercise or a project.

BTW, I'm never bored - five kids. Never happens. Kinda wish it would! laughing

--hide--

LOCKED
Mar 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Caroline-930073 said: (Quote) Pat-5351 said: So, what is your best piece of advice t...
(Quote) Caroline-930073 said:

Quote:
Pat-5351 said:

So, what is your best piece of advice to an adult trying to live a chaste and pure life

I like your advice about a sacramental. I've got another one: take "straying" thoughts captive: acknowledge any sexual thoughts about another person (whether they are in your life already or the ficticious super-spouse for whom you are praying) as natural, God-given drives that are but a distant reflection of the yearning for communion with God that we all have. Then, take those thoughts and offer them to God with a prayer for your future spouse (God-willing) that he/she is doing the same and remaining pure for you. I then try to turn those thoughts inside-out and figure out what I'm really wanting: could be that I'm lonely and need to call a friend for coffee, could be that I'm bored and need to do some spiritual reading, could be that I need to let out some creative or physical energy in the form of exercise or a project.

BTW, I'm never bored - five kids. Never happens. Kinda wish it would!



--hide--


Caroline, it sounds like you have lots of insight into this matter. It does take some thinking to process what is going on. Thanks for sharing.

LOCKED
Mar 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Chelle-924354 said: Hi Pat! I think living a chaste life as an adult also includes the places that we go, the things...
(Quote) Chelle-924354 said:

Hi Pat! I think living a chaste life as an adult also includes the places that we go, the things that we do, the people that we see, and the programs that we watch. In my opinion, chastity is a lifestyle and encompasses more than just not engaging in the act(s) of sex. I do have to say, though, that the brown scapular would make me think twice, especially if I were undressing in front of a mirror! Chelle

--hide--


You just hit the nail on the head, Chelle! As God-fearing adults, we should not only avoid sin but also occasions of sin.. I think sometimes we may over-estimate the actual strength of our self-control and sometimes even (consciously or subconsciously) try to put the grace of God in us to test. I think it helps to be realistic with ourselves and mindful of the fact that we are not robots.. we are still humans and vulnerable to sinful human desires hug theheart

LOCKED
Mar 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: (Quote) Matthew-924537 said: I don't think the seriousness of sexual s...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:

Quote:
Matthew-924537 said:

I don't think the seriousness of sexual sin is negated in his view - these people are still in hell... and no matter what level, what is about as undesirable as it gets.


I think he's speaking to the fact that this sin is as "natural" as it gets. The disorder of it is in its application outside of the correct context, rather than the action or intent itself.

All the more reason to live with vigilance... and some of the other advice in this thread, while keeping it in the proper perspective.





I think we have to pay close attention to the Liturgy of the Word that we had in Mass today and how Jesus forgave the woman who was caught in and accused of adultery. Lets not miss out on the importance and centrality of the forgiveness the Lord offers all of us.. The heart of Chastity is in not just about trying to avoid hell.

It is about loving and what we do in the positive realm and how we choose to take responsibility for loving others.

It may be a motivator for some to try to avoid hell, but God asks us to take responsibility for our lives and live it in accordance with His will and well.

We need to acknowledge it, acknowledge the suffering of it and grow from it, resolving to live appropriately as He calls us to follow Him.

--hide--

This is a very good point. I'll add that focusing on Chastity as a way to avoid hell I think is rather unheathly. Instead we should focus on the positives it brings and how it truly puts interest of the other first.

LOCKED
Mar 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: Some think that we can have a civil and charitable conversation about the important issue of chastity...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

Some think that we can have a civil and charitable conversation about the important issue of chastity in this room. I said I would put something up and see if that is indeed possible!

So, what is your best piece of advice to an adult trying to live a chaste and pure life?

"More souls go to Hell because of sins of the flesh than for any other reason. " --Our Lady to the children at Fatima

How can we as adult (not teenaged) Catholics help ourselves to save our souls from the sins of impurity?

I will go first:

Wear on your person a blessed sacramental at all times. The miraculous medal, the brown scapular, a crucifix (not a cross, a crucifix). Wear it always, not taking it off for anything. There is grace and power in sacramentals, and it is a physical reminder of to Whom you belong, and Who has given you this body, and Who dwells within you.

If you are tempted, you will have to, as an act of your will, physiclaly remove this sacramental if you are to proceed with whatever you were going to do. It will be a physical sign that you are separating yourself from God, that you are doing it willingly, with full knowledge. That's enough to give you pause and a chance to change your mind.

--hide--

Pat a good priest once told me that a good thing is to pray everytime your thoughts stray. Satan uses those thoughts to tempt us and if that method of tempting us leads us to pray then he will try something else. I think that he truly works on us and our thoughts the more pure you try to keep your relationship and or the more you come to care for each other. So I think that if we are aware of that and look for the signs and prepare ourselves with frequent administration of the sacraments and the use of sacramentals the easier it will become. However, it is never an easy thing and it is so much easier to make excuses for our small slips.

LOCKED
Mar 18th 2013 new
Brilliant post! Check the profiles that agree on all of the teachings of the church. Many say they believe in some and not all. I find it easy to guess which two are ignored. I'm shocked to see some do not believe in the infallibility of the Pope. As I recall from the Baltimore Catechism he is only infallible when teaching catholic doctrine. Thanks Pat.
LOCKED
Mar 18th 2013 new
Know thyself. Know your limits. If you are in temptation, but not serious sin, it's still helpful to go to Confession as a type of "preventative". Go weekly if you're feeling stumbly. You will be strengthened in this black box of God's Mercy.
LOCKED
Mar 18th 2013 new

The rosary, confession, and adoration work wonders. In the past, I may have gone a decade or more without confession. I "upgraded" to once every few years, then to once a year, and now bascially once a month. lol Whoa, I know. I never knew what adoration was until I was in my 20's, and I went to Catholic school for many moons. I now go weekly for an hour. Until last year, I'd never said the rosary on my own... ever. I actually Googled it then downloaded podcasts just so I wouldn't mess it up. Now, I saw it almost daily. All of these are HUGE changes for me. I am not trying to be "holier than thou" by any means; my point is that I wasn't always this way, but I'm here now.

I heard the Everts speak about a week ago in Covington, LA at Abbey Youth Fest (over 4,000 teens came!). Jason Evert talked about how the rosary has helped him so much, especially with battling porn. He said that if you don't have the time to say the rosary, say a Hail Mary. If you don't have time to say a Hail Mary, keep saying "Mary" over and over throughout your temptations. He also talked about confession (recommended going every 2-3 weeks, or a month at the latest) and recommended adoration. The lines for confession were wrapped all around after his talk. Amazing.

LOCKED
Mar 18th 2013 new

Our Catholic faith is an incarnational one so we need to utilize real solid things to help keep our minds from straying to the dark side. Maybe having a picture of the Blessed Mother or a Saint in your house would help set the atmosphere for your home.

I find for myself I need to make use of a nearby adoration chapel so that I can just "soak" in God's presence and allow Him to work in my heart. If there isn't an adoration chapel nearby from what I understand many churches have open chapels find one and soak in the atmosphere let it elevate your mind.


I think making time to do something "churchy" for lack of a better term can be helpful especially just visiting a church or chapel in the middle of the week.

LOCKED
Posts 11 - 20 of 200