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Mar 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Shara-929649 said: But the anonymity will still protect the poster and make it easier to ignore the judgements. ...
(Quote) Shara-929649 said:

But the anonymity will still protect the poster and make it easier to ignore the judgements.

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How so? The poster will still know the judgements are directed at them.

Contra: lurkers who agree with the poster's opinions won't know who it is they are agreeing with in order to express their support in private (or maybe even be tipped off to a possible match wink )

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Mar 17th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: What I see is people who know better, they just go with their 'feelings'.. If I were i...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:


What I see is people who know better, they just go with their 'feelings'.. If I were in a relationship and that 'progressed' to a physical relationship of that scope, I would be fully aware of what I was doing..I would be 'choosing' to ignore the ramifications. I don't think most people are blind to what they are doing.

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I'm sure that in some cases you're right. But since we never know for sure in a given situation, I say it's generally better to assume ignorance rather than obstinance.

A general point worth remembering is that posting in the forums is different than a one-on-one conversation: there are generally many people following the exchanges, and quite likely others that will come across them later. The information we provide, even if rejected by the person you are responding to, may be very helpful to others. I occasionally receive messages from members who thank me for information in posts that might never have been written if I stopped responding when the other party was clearly unreceptive to the message. If they don't want to listen, they are free to bow out; if their falsehoods are left unanswered there is a potential scandal.

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Mar 17th 2013 new

The problem I see with most chastiy realted threads is that many of the posts come across with a very judgmental and dogmatic attitude. Generally people are more willing to listen with an open heart if they believe you are tuly telling them something out of love and concern and not simply to pound the pulpit or win an argument. We live in a time of great ignorance and woundedness. That does not mean one has to water down the truth but the approach one takes should vary depending on the content and relationship with the person they are talking to. In a open discussion forum generally there is not a one on one personal realtionship based on love and trust thus the approach would be and should be very different from a close friend or family member who honestl believes you are placing their best interests first.

While not directly related to chastity I personally can't think of two better books to read to help with chastity than the Imitation of Christ and Screwtape Letter because both deal with the cause and the pragmatic methods for dealing with and fighting off temptations and how satan works his way in without us even knowing it. There two books can be read daily for the rest of your life.

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Mar 17th 2013 new
This post has been flagged as inappropriate for this discussion or forum.
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Mar 18th 2013 new
This post has been flagged as inappropriate for this discussion or forum.
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Mar 18th 2013 new

We do not plan to offer another room let alone the functionality of posting anonymously. There are much broader consierations for us including how such functionality is compatible with the current structure of our forums not to mention what would be the consequences if there was ever a "bug" in the software that revealed everyone who was posting a question. You may not agree with this but when it comes to public websites such as CatholicMatch no one should assume annonymity. I would further suggest that if the questions or comments are of such a sensitive nature that you feel uncomfortable posting them with your identity attatched that it is probably a better conversation in private with a trusted friend(s) or a priest providing spriirtual direction. While we try to provide the most broad based community we can on CatholicMatch it can't possibly serve every single niche that we can come up with. Robyn out editor will be forwarded this thread and I am sure she will consider some ways to include some addtional content on this subject or at least a list of resources. But in terms of the "special room" it is just not going to happen for all the reasons I have listed as well as the fact that when we prioritize where we spend our time adding addtional features etc. we have to do so where is had the most broad based impact on the site. Thanks for you consideration, feedback and understanding.

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Mar 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Brian-278516 said: We do not plan to offer another room let alone the functionality of posting anonymously. There ar...
(Quote) Brian-278516 said:

We do not plan to offer another room let alone the functionality of posting anonymously. There are much broader consierations for us including how such functionality is compatible with the current structure of our forums not to mention what would be the consequences if there was ever a "bug" in the software that revealed everyone who was posting a question. You may not agree with this but when it comes to public websites such as CatholicMatch no one should assume annonymity. I would further suggest that if the questions or comments are of such a sensitive nature that you feel uncomfortable posting them with your identity attatched that it is probably a better conversation in private with a trusted friend(s) or a priest providing spriirtual direction. While we try to provide the most broad based community we can on CatholicMatch it can't possibly serve every single niche that we can come up with. Robyn out editor will be forwarded this thread and I am sure she will consider some ways to include some addtional content on this subject or at least a list of resources. But in terms of the "special room" it is just not going to happen for all the reasons I have listed as well as the fact that when we prioritize where we spend our time adding addtional features etc. we have to do so where is had the most broad based impact on the site. Thanks for you consideration, feedback and understanding.

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Brian thank you for taking the time to respond and for providing some new considerations that I had not thought of. It is obvious that you gave it serious consideration and that is all that I was asking. Much appreciated.

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Mar 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-825244 said: True, it is a private issue which is ripping the Church apart from within. I think it is s...
(Quote) Naomi-825244 said:

True, it is a private issue which is ripping the Church apart from within.

I think it is something that members should discuss privately. If you need general support/help, the mens/womens forums are good for that.

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Yes, it is ripping the Church apart in every possible way. sad I agree with you here. However, I do not think it is something that should be discussed privately. Being chaste is the concrete, no exceptions, teaching of the Church. I think all of these discussions should be brought into the light. It is in hidden secrecy and darkness that the lies are allowed to fester and soon thought of to be acceptable. eyepopping This is where I think we are right now (as a society in general). It is not something to be hidden, either way, people who have always followed the teachings on chastity or people who have slipped and not always been chaste. It doesn't need to be private. It doesn't need to involve shame. ashamed

There is no shame in admitting to who we are - we are all sinners, in one way or another. I think the problem is in not admitting our need for God's forgiveness, in "whatever." I used to feel such guilt and shame over every little thing I did and that just ate at me more and more. Now, when I do something wrong, I know what I've done is wrong, I face it, and I do feel guilty, and I go and get it taken care of (confession of course) and then I try to forgive myself, but while I'm trying to forgive myself, I find such great peace in knowing that God has forgiven me completely. That helps me move on! : ) In light of all of this, I say, it doesn't matter - we are supposed to be chaste, so no matter what has been, get past what has been, and be chaste from this time forward in your single life. This should not be private, that is part of the big problem, I think. God bless you all! hug Dove

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