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A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Feb 26th 2013 new

Sounds like a good group! Wish we had one around ehre. I am reading, Catholic. Divorced. Now what? good so far

Feb 26th 2013 new

(Quote) Heather-705104 said: Sounds like a good group! Wish we had one around ehre. I am reading, Catholic. Divorced. Now wh...
(Quote) Heather-705104 said:

Sounds like a good group! Wish we had one around ehre. I am reading, Catholic. Divorced. Now what? good so far

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That is the same book we are using for the bible study. They have speakers come on certain subjects. Last week we had a priest come and give his testimony. He has a grown daughter and a 2 year old grandson. Very interesting story - he is an awesome priest and love to hear his homilies. Not sure how big your church/diocese is but could be something you could get started? There are video tapes and discussions - the women on one side and the men on the other. Bishop will end the class with a mass and reception.

Feb 26th 2013 new
Wow. Really nice. It just feels so lonely,
Mar 18th 2013 new

My divorce is final on the 26th of this month. My pastor obtained the paper work 2 weeks ago. Of course the papers cannot be submitted until after March 26th. I was married for 43 years. Research is difficult. I'm trying to find baptismal certificates from parishes that closed. My marriage license was issued in Washington DC. Their website was not current. Do not send personal checks. I received my letter back after 2 weeks. Most agencies request Money Orders or checks issued from an attorney's office.
I'm dragging my feet on the "history" my marriage. It is painful re-living the past. My pastor said eventually it will be part of the healing process.
I found this book at my local Catholic religious shop. It is "Seeking an Annulment with the Help of Your Catholic Faith" by Lorene Hanley Duquin. It is very, very, helpful. Also know there is a fee involve with most cases. The Archdiocese of Cincinnati has a $300. fee which can be paid monthly or all at once. If you can't afford it, you have to provide proof of hardship.
The current book I am reading is: "Healing the Wounds of Divorce" (A Spiritual Guide to Recovery) by Barbara Leahy Shlemon. You can find this on Kindle.
Good Luck!
Please pray for me that this "grieving" process will have a minimum of pain and go swiftly.

You are in my prayers.
Blessings,
Diane .

Mar 19th 2013 new

The history is very painful, I'm finally finishing that part up right now. You know what? It is healing. I was able this weekend to go up in the attic and pull down clothes from my trousseau (yes, I had a dowry, I'm an old-fashioned sort of gal in many ways) and see what was salvageable, could be consigned, or needed to be donated. It was painful but I can handle it now. They're just clothes now instead of things we grabbed out of the house with a sheriff standing by. By working on my annulment paperwork, I was able to face those memories. Not to say I didn't cry a little that night, but those clothes have been up there for 2 years at this point and I wasn't doing anything with them.

Mar 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: The only person who is notified of the filing is the ex. They are given a chance to participate.. ...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

The only person who is notified of the filing is the ex. They are given a chance to participate.. Witnesses are sent paperwork at the appropriate time farther along in the process.

One can't 'start' the annulment until the divorce is final. Most of the paperwork is available for printing online these days, so a person could do that at any time. You can't turn it in without the divorce decree.

My experience is that the Tribunal chooses the appropriate grounds. I didn't pick mine, but it was 'lack of discretionary discretion'.

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My Monsignor actually chose the grounds. It was good for me that he was on the Tribunal as a defender so he could determine what best fit the situation. It would have been far harder to get through the whole process without his wisdom.

Mar 19th 2013 new

Going through the annulment process can be very healing. Some people resist it, however, for various & sundry reasons.

A participant in one of our support group meetings kept going on about how she would take the papers out of her desk & get very angry--this after quite a number of years of being divorced. This particular meeting was facilitated by a priest who very gently tried to address her problem. We all tried to convince her that since she was adamantly against remarriage, she shouldn't go through annulment especially if all it caused was anger.

Many people who seek annulments believe they would like to consider remarriage. Certainly that is not the sole reason to get one. Talking through the process with experienced people in the Tribunal is valuable.

Mar 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Laurel-904204 said: Bishop will end the class with a mass and reception.
(Quote) Laurel-904204 said:

Bishop will end the class with a mass and reception.

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One very successful idea we started in Indianapolis several years ago was to schedule a "Family Mass for Separated/Divorced Catholics." This has become an annual event. We encourage parents, children, any & all family members to attend with the one who is going through separation/divorce. No one feels alone with this experience & it may help some family members see that they are not alone. There is a reception afterward for fellowship & sharing. It's always been well-attended!

If you want more information, you might contact the Family Life Office at the Archdiocese of Indianapolis. Deb VanVelse is the contact person.

Mar 19th 2013 new

(Quote) Diane-925819 said: It is "Seeking an Annulment with the Help of Your...
(Quote) Diane-925819 said:

It is "Seeking an Annulment with the Help of Your Catholic Faith" by Lorene Hanley Duquin. It is very, very, helpful. Also know there is a fee involve with most cases. The Archdiocese of Cincinnati has a $300. fee which can be paid monthly or all at once. If you can't afford it, you have to provide proof of hardship.
The current book I am reading is: "Healing the Wounds of Divorce" (A Spiritual Guide to Recovery) by Barbara Leahy Shlemon. You can find this on Kindle.
Good Luck!
Please pray for me that this "grieving" process will have a minimum of pain and go swiftly.

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The Shlemon book is excellent! I was privileged to attend a 2-day workshop with Barbara several years ago at the NACSDC Conference at Notre Dame. We came away blessed & enriched.

As for annulment fees, every diocese/archdiocese seems to have its own fee & I'm sure the Tribunal can help negotiate fees for any particular situation.

Mar 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Carol-737878 said: One very successful idea we started in Indianapolis several years ago was to schedule a ...
(Quote) Carol-737878 said:

One very successful idea we started in Indianapolis several years ago was to schedule a "Family Mass for Separated/Divorced Catholics." This has become an annual event. We encourage parents, children, any & all family members to attend with the one who is going through separation/divorce. No one feels alone with this experience & it may help some family members see that they are not alone. There is a reception afterward for fellowship & sharing. It's always been well-attended!

If you want more information, you might contact the Family Life Office at the Archdiocese of Indianapolis. Deb VanVelse is the contact person.

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In the 80's there was a formal group called Seperated Divorced and Remarried Catholics (SDRC) in the Indy Archdiocese..I was very active with the group through 1984-1987.. We met on Monday nights weekly and usually had 50 or more people at an average meeting. We had a number of marriages come directly out of that group. In the early 90's after my second divorce I tried to come back but there were only 9 people at the meeting, mostly just the board members..Seemed hardly worth it. I never went back. In the original group we did all kinds of great activities.. I even went canoeing and caving.. I was the Hospitality person for about 18 mos. The internet has pretty much killed the local singles groups.

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