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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Mar 10th 2013 new

(Quote) Casey-637092 said: The greatest cowardice for a man is to awaken love within the heart of a womanwithout eve...
(Quote) Casey-637092 said:

The greatest cowardice for a man is to
awaken love within the heart of a woman
without ever having the intention
to love her back !

This is emotional abuse in disguise !!
Be ever so careful , when holding
her heart , if she gives it to you !

--hide--


Casey,

Yes, it's a sublte warning, but, Oh, so poignant! Bless you for sharing it. theheart

Mar 10th 2013 new

(Quote) Therese-668052 said: First of all, wonderful post KC very insightful, with few words you said a lot. Laura,...
(Quote) Therese-668052 said:

First of all, wonderful post KC very insightful, with few words you said a lot.

Laura, good for you, it means you were a healthy person to be able to leave the relationship after only 5 months. Usually the non BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)or non NPD(narcissistic Personality Disorder) got sucked in the relationship. Another name to what you described is the cycle of abuse were the victim, not knowing what is going on, lives in the FOG (fear obligation and guilt). So many victims stay years in the relationship for many reasons like fear to leave, low-self esteem, children, finances, hope of change, outside pressure..... Another site very helful is bpdfamily.com

My advice for any friend reading my post is to be Healthy before getting in any relationship to be able to protect your boundaries and have a high self esteem, to be able to be assertive and believe that it is ok to say no... Seek a therapist if needed. So when you are out there dating you will be able to catch the signs and red flags before you get stuck :). A relationship is as healthy as the least one of the couple. With your work on yourself, it is very crucial to allow God to be the Leader.

Two books are very helpful; Stop Walking on Eggshells by Randi Kreger and Paul Mason and

I Hate You don't Leave Me by Jerold J Kreisman and Hal Straus


TKC

Therese

--hide--


Excellent, Therese. I was stuck for 18 years and paid a very heavy price. "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love yourself as God loves you, then you'll be capable of loving others. Another good read is "Codependent No More". See www.coda.org

Mar 10th 2013 new

True very True Casey !!!

Mar 10th 2013 new

Good advise you must have training in this area You get a Gold Star!

Mar 11th 2013 new
(Quote) Alice-788574 said: Excellent, Therese. I was stuck for 18 years and paid a very heavy price. "Love your n...
(Quote) Alice-788574 said:




Excellent, Therese. I was stuck for 18 years and paid a very heavy price. "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love yourself as God loves you, then you'll be capable of loving others. Another good read is "Codependent No More". See www.coda.org

--hide--


Alice this is a good book too.

The price that we pay is often connected to the blessing, congratualations on choosing to invest in yourself, good choice.heart Remember that God is with you every step of the way, as Saint Augustine said

Always know that God will provide the wind, but man must raise his own sail.

TKC rose

Therese
Mar 12th 2013 new

Great Post Casey.. and I agree with some of the other folks.. I've been there done that.. and it's not just guys who need to see this but women too. Dating and relationships are so hard.. keeping God at the root is the first step towards goodness in it all.

Mar 18th 2013 new

(Quote) Casey-637092 said: The greatest cowardice for a man is to awaken love within the heart of a womanwithout eve...
(Quote) Casey-637092 said:

The greatest cowardice for a man is to
awaken love within the heart of a woman
without ever having the intention
to love her back !

This is emotional abuse in disguise !!
Be ever so careful , when holding
her heart , if she gives it to you !

--hide--


Casey,

It would be a good idea if every new member/present member of CM, male and female got a copy of you post. Good food for thought.

Eloise

theheart

Mar 18th 2013 new

I'm so glad for you that you ended a relationship with a man with NPD! I feel like I have been in several relationships with men along the lines of NPD (but not diagnosed) and i feel your pain! I hope that your heart heals and the God reveals true love in others for you. Be well!

Mar 19th 2013 new
(Quote) Michelle-880992 said: I'm so glad for you that you ended a relationship with a man with NPD! I feel like I have been in severa...
(Quote) Michelle-880992 said:

I'm so glad for you that you ended a relationship with a man with NPD! I feel like I have been in several relationships with men along the lines of NPD (but not diagnosed) and i feel your pain! I hope that your heart heals and the God reveals true love in others for you. Be well!

--hide--
Thanks Michelle, may God do the same for you!
Apr 11th 2013 new
As long as you are just going to paraphrase Bob Marley we should add Shakespeare; There is no greater legacy than honesty. The truth will hurt you for a while. But a lie can hurt you forever. Mark
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