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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

03/20/2013 new

Donna, I heard about that group. When I started our support group in Indianapolis in 2000, I wanted it to be focused on topics pertinent to the healing process & we did very well for several years. We tried to organize some social activities, but they didn't go over as well as we had hoped. But things ebb & flow & even though there is an ongoing need for support in this area, the idea of a monthly support group just died out.

Fr. Noah Casey at the Cathedral has gotten a group of single adults meeting once a month downtown. More info can be had from the Family Life Office at the Archdiocese.


The annual Family Mass is coming up soon. Info also on the NACSDC.com website!

03/20/2013 new

(Quote) Laurel-904204 said: On average, how long do most wait to file for an annulment after the civil divorce is final? Has...
(Quote) Laurel-904204 said:

On average, how long do most wait to file for an annulment after the civil divorce is final? Has anyone filed for the annulment before the civil divorce was final? I was married in the Church 30+ years ago and I just returned to the Church last September after being gone for a very long time. I ask this only because of the forums. I have had many tell me I should begin the process. However, after this long, I don't remember the details except for my last night in the house and I am not sure I want to dig us the dust. Thoughts?

--hide--



Im not sure anymore about annullments, my diocese called and said they cannot process it, despite having witnesses write in, because I havent paid any money toward it. Said I cannot, trying to support myself and my child alone. Beginning to think its all about the money.

03/21/2013 new
I am so glad I opened this forum. When I went to my priest to ask about starting the annulment process, he said I do not have to start the process unless I was ready to re-marry. Does anyone know anything about this?
03/21/2013 new

Carmen,


Please check out what I said previously about the necessity of an annulment. There are several good informational books that can answer some or all of your questions.


If you think remarriage might be a possibility, then go ahead & begin the process. I've heard of many people who were rushing at the last minute or even were denied an annulment for some reason--it does happen!


Pray about it, get your questions answered & then do what is best for your situation.

03/21/2013 new
Laurel, It seems to me that many of us postpone the process. When my ex husband entered into a civil partnership with his partner it was the kick start I needed. It took us 4 years to finalise the divorce for various reasons and then he refused to participate in the annulment. I applied at the end of September which was almost a year after the divorce was finalised and have been told that the evidence has been received and it is going for judgement at the end of April. Whilst it is not guaranteed, our Heavenly Father is merciful and I rely on Him. St Joseph has been wonderful too.... I guess postponement of the process was more about feeling ready and prayerfully preparing for it. A bit like preparing for the sacrament of reconciliation is the only way I can describe it. When we are ready the Holy Spirit certainly lets us know. You will be in my prayers and I will light a candle for you. God Bless x
03/21/2013 new

Laura--right from the very start my parish said they could pay for the annulment & I could make payments to them directly, if needed. Have you tried contacting the tribunal directly (if your parish is unwilling to help) & ask if some sort of payment plan can be set up?

03/21/2013 new

(Quote) Laurel-904204 said: . . . after this long, I don't remember the details except for my last night in the house an...
(Quote) Laurel-904204 said:

. . . after this long, I don't remember the details except for my last night in the house and I am not sure I want to dig us the dust. Thoughts?

--hide--

Dear Laurel,

While the necessary elements of the annulment process are pretty much the same wherever you go, the administrative details and requirements vary from diocese to diocese. Some dioceses, like the Archdiocese of Atlanta, require a waiting period of one year before filing for the annulment process. They do this because there are couples who reconcile during the process (a good thing, of course), drop the case, but have then utilized the tribunals resources (time, supplies, and utilities) without compensating them for their work. Other dioceses have no wait period whatsoever. Decisions like that are up to the presiding bishop. If you check with your diocese, you'll know how to proceed.

As for digging up the past... I know it's a difficult proposition, but a worthwhile one, nonetheless. Worthwhile for two prominent reasons: If you have remarried without obtaining a decree of nullity that stated you were free to marry (an annulment) you will now be able to rectify that and be able to receive the sacraments. That is a huge deal! Second, you will be able to experience healing on a completely new and different level. I encourage you to take this step and will pray for you as you do.

God bless,

Lisa Duffy

03/21/2013 new

(Quote) Laura-857740 said: Im not sure anymore about annullments, my diocese called and said they cannot process...
(Quote) Laura-857740 said:




Im not sure anymore about annullments, my diocese called and said they cannot process it, despite having witnesses write in, because I havent paid any money toward it. Said I cannot, trying to support myself and my child alone. Beginning to think its all about the money.

--hide--

Hi, Laura,

Did whoever you spoke with actually say "the tribunal would not process your case because of non-payment?" If so, that employee had their facts wrong and you should, as Laura suggested, call back and speak with someone else.

Technically, there is no charge for the annulment process. Tribunals ask for a certain fee to be paid in order to recoup their administrative costs but not being able to pay in no way should affect the processing of your case.

I don't know of any tribunals that will not take a payment plan. In my own case, since I was eating hot dogs and Top Ramen for a long time, the Tribunal secretary let me make a $10 a month payment, but not before telling me that if I absolutely could not afford it, I didn't have to pay anything. I strongly encourage you to call your tribunal and speak with someone besides the one you spoke with, or at least get more clarification. If whomever you speak with insists they won't process your case until you pay, then I would promptly write a letter to your bishop, explaining your situation.

Financial hardship is one of the worst things to go through! Sorry you're in that position. Count on my prayers for you.

Sincerely,

Lisa Duffy

03/21/2013 new

Here is a quote from Fr. Hector Medina from Texas:

"The Church, in a beautiful manifestation of the grace of God, uses the annulment process to touch the very wound I thought would never heal. The annulment process has become a wonderful source of reconciliation as the process looks at the marriage from its beginning rather than from the pain of its ending. The annulment ministry calls us as people of faith to seek the presence of the Living Lord even in the darkness. Its goals and process, however painful the memories, has at its base the reality of the Gospel. For the Lord has called us to peace (1Cor.7:15b)"

03/21/2013 new

Laurel,

Seems each person files for an annulment at different times however, you must be legally divorced first. I waited over a year to file and found that hlped my head to be clear in order to learn and grow from the process which is what it's meant to do. I think the process has not been "marketed" well by the church as if people really put their heart and soul into the process, it's a wonderful opportunity to learn, grow, avoid repeating mistakes and for some, finish healing. I understand each diocese is different but based on my experience in the Houston Diocese, I found it AWESOME! biggrin

Susie

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