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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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Hello,

Thank you everyone for participating in the forums we have had some great and informative topics. Joining the Catholic Church is the best thing I've done - glad to be here. While learning about the Faith I've learned new definitions for words like abstinence, fasting and continence. It still sounds weird to my ears to talk about meatless Fridays as practicing abstinence, growing up Protestant abstinence meant practicing chastity....

So those words have different meanings to me now as a Catholic then they did before and it makes me wonder what other things are different. Is there anything, not limited to vocabulary, it could be cultural, that you think it would be helpful for someone who didn't grow up as a Catholic to know?

Any assumptions, cultural norms etc. that it might be nice to know about? Suppose I meet and date someone from CM when do couples normally start praying the rosary together? Is going to Mass together a get to know you thing as friends or something you do when you are more seriously dating? Normal Sunday Mass in English is all I am familiar with; is not having the same liturgical preference no big deal or something people consider a 'must have' in someone they want to date? Are there cultural norms for Catholic dating for practicing Catholics?

03/21/2013 new

As an aside, and a gross generalisation at that, I've noticed two things in particular that always seems to come up in non-Catholic/Protestant vs. Catholic vocab.

"Immaculate conception" seems to mean conception without sex. It doesn't, it refers to the conception of Our Lady without the stain of orginial sin.

The other, is chastity seems to mean "no sex" for a lot of Protestants/non-Christians. When it actually refers to an entire way of life, not just the denial of sex before marriage.

Again, generalising.

I'm not sure if these quirks of semantics have caught you out, but I find myself explainign them a lot to my non-Catholic friends.

03/21/2013 new

(Quote) Amber-931533 said: Suppose I meet and date someone from CM when do couples normally start praying the rosary togethe...
(Quote) Amber-931533 said:

Suppose I meet and date someone from CM when do couples normally start praying the rosary together? Is going to Mass together a get to know you thing as friends or something you do when you are more seriously dating? Normal Sunday Mass in English is all I am familiar with; is not having the same liturgical preference no big deal or something people consider a 'must have' in someone they want to date? Are there cultural norms for Catholic dating for practicing Catholics?

--hide--

I don't think there is a "normally" when it comes to how couples share their faith with one another. I'm sure some pray the rosary on the first date, and others never do. It's important to figure out what you want to do and what will work for you. When I went out with guys on a date, we would more often than not start the date with Mass (if it was Sunday). But it doesn't have to be that way each time or for everyone.

Liturgical preference... In my experience, people who exclusively attend the TLM (Latin Mass) prefer to date others who either already attend or are open to attending the TLM as a couple and later as a family. I don't think there are many TLM goers out there who are open to switching back to the Novus Ordo (what you call "normal" Sunday Mass), but I may be wrong.

03/21/2013 new

(Quote) Amber-931533 said: Hello, Thank you everyone for participating in the forums we have had some great and infor...
(Quote) Amber-931533 said:

Hello,

Thank you everyone for participating in the forums we have had some great and informative topics. Joining the Catholic Church is the best thing I've done - glad to be here. While learning about the Faith I've learned new definitions for words like abstinence, fasting and continence. It still sounds weird to my ears to talk about meatless Fridays as practicing abstinence, growing up Protestant abstinence meant practicing chastity....

So those words have different meanings to me now as a Catholic then they did before and it makes me wonder what other things are different. Is there anything, not limited to vocabulary, it could be cultural, that you think it would be helpful for someone who didn't grow up as a Catholic to know?

Any assumptions, cultural norms etc. that it might be nice to know about? Suppose I meet and date someone from CM when do couples normally start praying the rosary together? Is going to Mass together a get to know you thing as friends or something you do when you are more seriously dating? Normal Sunday Mass in English is all I am familiar with; is not having the same liturgical preference no big deal or something people consider a 'must have' in someone they want to date? Are there cultural norms for Catholic dating for practicing Catholics?

--hide--
Perhaps you're more up to date than some cradle Catholics. Not intending to demean or insult them, but some of the things we learned years ago, we have forgotten because they haven't been brought up for a long time. Your studying of the Church's teachings is fresher in your mind, having gone through the process more recently.

Don't feel badly if you have difficulty understanding some of the terminology and definitions. The Faith is complicated, and it is difficult for us ordinary folks to comprehend a lot of it. Also, there isn't anyone who totally undertands everything about it because it involves many mysteries. If we had total knowledge, we'd be equal to God in intellect, but, as you know, that is impossible.

You'll become more familiar with the Church as you practice and hear about the Church's teachings. Perhaps a Bible study class would be helpful. Or the currently used Catechism of the Catholic Church -- a wealth of information.

You mentioned abstinence specifically. It has the same meaning, but you are applying it to two different things. Abstinence means "to refrain from". Thus, it is correct to use the word as it applies to meatless Fridays and matters of chastity.

Going to Mass with anyone at anytime is always a good idea. If you notice the CM gatherings and events, they will ensure that they are allowing for Mass attendance, usually as a group. This is true in virtually all cases. The Rosary can be said at anytime also, although it may seem unusual to do this with someone you've just met. Circumstances (such as visiting a ceremony at a special religious service) may dictate otherwise. As a newcomer to the Catholic Faith, you'll find that most Masses are in English. The traditional Latin Mass isn't commonly said but it would enhance your experience to attend one in your area when you have a chance to do so.

I'm not sure what you're including in what you call cultural norms, so I'll leave it to others to comment.

Last but not least -- welcome to the fold. angel

03/21/2013 new

Ray makes a great point: All of us should be learning, every day!

03/21/2013 new

Some folks pray together from the start, others never. I've been at group events where we said the Rosary together...and others where we didn't even say grace before dinner. I know some people whose first date included Mass together -- and others who consider this far too intimate an experience for people who aren't well-acquainted!

If you have a great interest in it (and know a little Latin) you may enjoy attending Mass in Latin (either Traditional or Novus Ordo), but don't feel that you have to -- and don't listen to anyone who tells you that "only" the Traditional Latin is the "real" Mass, because that's baloney.

I rather envy you... I think it's easy for us cradle Catholics to forget to continue to explore and grow in our faith.

03/21/2013 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: but some of the things we learned years ago, we have forgotten because they haven't been broug...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

but some of the things we learned years ago, we have forgotten because they haven't been brought up for a long time.

--hide--


Or they were never taught in the first place. The only things I remember from my Confirmation classes are passing around a lit candle in a dark room, lying on the floor trying to relax, and getting a bag of sand. Seriously.

03/21/2013 new

(Quote) Margaret-20183 said: Or they were never taught in the first place. The only things I remember from my C...
(Quote) Margaret-20183 said:


Or they were never taught in the first place. The only things I remember from my Confirmation classes are passing around a lit candle in a dark room, lying on the floor trying to relax, and getting a bag of sand. Seriously.

--hide--
Ahh, yes, Margaret -- there is that problem, too. I'm not sure how well educated you became in the faith by lying on the floor and getting a bag of sand. What was the idea behind that?

03/21/2013 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: Ahh, yes, Margaret -- there is that problem, too. I'm not sure how well educated you became in ...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Ahh, yes, Margaret -- there is that problem, too. I'm not sure how well educated you became in the faith by lying on the floor and getting a bag of sand. What was the idea behind that?

--hide--

I think it was meant to relax ourselves to let the world out in order to bring the Holy Spririt in. I guess. laughing We were supposed to imagine our bodies as being filled with sand, and there was a little hole from which the sand would slowly escape which supposedly would help us to relax. I think that's where the bag of sand came in, to serve as physical reminder. Or it could have meant something entirely else! It would have been nice for them to give us a firm foundation first before going off with those oddities.

03/21/2013 new

Hi Amber,

I'm also a convert (high five) and can see where you're coming from -- there are a lot of new terms and/or words that have more than one meaning or a different meaning (it look me awhile to understand abstinence vs. fasting, etc). And things that become habit like genuflecting, etc. I've never dated a Catholic but I think what was previously said makes sense -- do what's comfortable. If you'd be OK with going to mass on the first date, why not? Or if, for example, you're not super used to the rosary, just pray in another way. I don't think there's a "This Is How to Date a Catholic" template, other than sharing your faith together. One thing that's helped me in general to get used to Catholicism (and in a way it does seem like a culture) is being involved in my parish. I volunteer with RCIA and it helps me keep learning and get more used to the faith (and as Ray said, going through it sooner makes it fresher). And just knowing other Catholics and being around them helps. If you date a Catholic guy I'm guessing he'd be gracious enough to want to know about your background, and if there was something that wasn't clear he would clarify or explain. And he may have specific things he's into or not into. Like Ray said, there is a lot to it. I don't know if that helps at all, but I can relate (=

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