I was 36 when my wife died. We sort of expect to be married for 50 or 60 or 70 years. But, when your spouse dies after 60 years I think it hurts just as much.
I am all for not having sex till I am married, that is the Catholic thing to do. So, is there more to it? Somethings to consider:
If you date someone for a long time, years, and don't have sex, or be very affectionate it is a very valid question to ask why. If you meet this person you love why are you not married? There just isn't a very good reason. You can say you want to get to know the other person, but if you haven't gotten to know them in a year you are not trying very hard. Your relationship is not very important, move on.
There is a very real possibility your date is getting all the sex they want somewhere else. If you are out on a date witth this person, and you like them, how do you compete with the other person? Don't feel like you have lost because the person is getting sex someplace else. If you are a widow, or widower, and had a good marriage think about the things from your marriage that made it good. Hopefully there was more than sex. If you bring the things that made your marriage wonderful to a dating relationship you will WIN.
Just because you are not having sex it is ok to be very affectionate. Relationships need to have boundaries. Your relationship should establish boundaries about sex. You have to establish your boundaries through conversation and learning what you like and don't like. Be willing to talk and to love. Perhaps accept the fact that you date likes to hold you close, like to be close to you. Have your date accept the fact that you would rather keep your clothes on.
Structure your date so sex cannot just happen. Meet at a movie, then go home in your own car.
Try to be honest with yourself and with the person you are dating. How much do you want to have sex with them? How much do they want to have sex with you? If you don't have sex till you are married make sure you both are aware of how much sex you want and what sort of things you expect to do. It is not sinful to tell your date that you want to have sex in your tent camping on the beach. At my age, I might have problems with that.
As a Catholic you must provide leadership to your relationship. You have your beliefs, you get to live by them. If your beliefs make you stay single for the rest of your life then you need to decide. Accept being single, or revise your beliefs. I think two people can abstain whlle dating for 6 months, maybe a year. I know of no Church teaching that encourages a couple to date for longer than a year, or a month for that matter, before getting married. But, if you are dating someone you are really in love with you will, or should have the desire for sex. To continue the relationship indefinitely without sex, and the prior marriage, is a tempation to sin and should be avoided.
I am single because women don't have the understanding and confidence to love me without using their body. As an example, I had a girlfriend named Linda. When going to a party with my son, at his house, I took Linda. After we broke up, Linda dated somebody else and he didn't invite her to a party with his family. She dumped his sorry butt.
You will still meet people that just want sex. I hope you want sex too, but in the right way and circumstances. Let your Divine nature shine. Show the person you go out with interest and good manners. Smell good and don't cuss. Be respectful of them and their life. Even if you never see them again, make your time together good for you and hopefully them. Imagine you were Jesus talking to this person. What would you do? What would you say? Don't you know you were Jesus' voice many times in your marriage. Can you do that again, why not?