This is a situation I've encountered several times, in the three years I've been dating: a relationship develops to the point where we are seeing each other exclusively. The guy and I agree we both want a pure, holy Catholic friendship, time to discern if marriage is a possibility. Then the guy mentions he's still seeing a girlfriend with whom he's been intimate. He says they're "just friends," but he confides in her, or relies on her guidance, or she's not ready to let go. That's a huge red flag to me, that he's hanging on to an intimate relationship with another woman. At that point I ask him to decide whether he wants to let go of that past relationship, or stop seeing me. To me, there's nothing pure and holy in hanging on to a former partner with whom you've been intimate.
I'm not talking about ex-wives, where children are involved, just ex-girlfriends or wives, no children. The issue, to me, is purity. I know some people will say my standards are too high, but why should I be expected to be "one of many" if we're supposedly in an exclusive relationship? What do you think? Would like to get some guys' views on this as well. Can you let go of past intimate relationships?