I am sure that when the TLM was first introduced, it too was not welcomed with open arms by everyone. The NO was not introduced at Vatican II. But Paul VI called for the revision of the Mass in an attempt to make the Mass more meaningful and accessible to the Faithful as called for by Vatican II. I can agree that it is has failed in that.
Long before you were born and before Vatican II, people complained constantly, despite the ready accessibility and relatively inexpensive costs of missals to overcome the problem, that because the Mass was in Latin they had no idea what was going on. They fervently complained about the priest facing away from them so that they felt remote from him and the Mass.
The simple fact is that when the complaints were met, the people found they they still did not understand what was going on. They left in droves many to go to Protestant churches or worse, because their services were more emotionally fulfilling, despite the fact that they lack substance.
Long before you were born, I attended thousands of masses now referred to as TLMs. The reverance displayed ranged from excellent to even worse than I see now at NO masses.
But all that aside, don't forget, the Mass in early Christian times was celebrated in private homes. The celebrant faced the people women sat at the dinner table. Music came along later but when first introduced reflected the music of the day with Christian words, just like the "folk masses"of our day were an attempt to relate the music to people today. The celebrants wore no special vestments. They wore their everyday clothes, which today's vestments resemble. There were no special chalices, etc. Everyday eating utensils, cups and dishes were used.
More formal forms of the Mass and vestments developed only after Constantine made it legal to practice Christianity.
All that aside, the abuses you see, and whether you have seen them or not they also exist in TLM masses, arise solely from individuals, both priest and laity, and not from the form of the Mass. A good part of them arise from the general culture as it exists today. Less formal dress, lack of manners, etc..
About the time you were born, no women worthy of the name would appear dressed as they do today to go to the mall or "downtown" to shop, wearing a hat and gloves. My Dad, who could have been your great Grandfather, always wore a suit and tie. The suit jacket only came off in the house but never his ties until he went to bed. He would even do garden work that way, without the suit jacket of course. Today he would be considered a nut case.
Those changes are cultural and not the result of the NO.
I'm sure you are right that both forms of the Mass can be offered reverently and not so reverently. I'm speaking from personal experience only. I understand what you are saying about fashions. I prefer dressing modestly and for the most part only where skirts because they make me feel more feminine. I know the dress vs. pants thing has been done to death in these forums and I don't want to go there. I'm speaking of what I've seen at Mass specifically. When I go to the TLM I see men in suits or at least dress shirts and slacks and women in long skirts and veils. At the NO I attend it's jeans for both sexes and some of what the women wear is enough to make you blush. I generally try to keep my eyes on the floor.
It seems that the idea that the Mass is a sacrifice has been all but lost. The focus has shifted from a sacrifice to a meal. If people really grasped that they were standing at the foot of the cross, would they still dress the way they are now? The Mass isn't supposed to be about us, it's supposed to be worship of God, the sacrifice of the Son to the Father in atonement for our sins. I just don't think that the fact that 75% of Catholics don't go to Mass and like 90% don't believe in the Real Presence is a coincidence. Nor is it coincidence that there are usually only two or three of us at Confession at my NO parish but when I visits any of my four siblings who attend the TLM the line for Confession wraps around the church.