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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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If you fit the qualities described, please don't be afraid to contact me.

My question is: Where are all the single, ambitious Catholic men? I mean someone who a) doesn't still live at home, b) has a stable and steady job, c)is ambitious enough to move up the ladder and enhance their career knowing that it will ultimately lead to them being able to be a leader and main provider for their future family?

Granted one's age has a lot to do with where they are in life and other circumstances are taken into consideration. I'm obviously not talking about those who are still obtaining their education, just starting out in the workforce, serving in the ministry, or who have had certain circumstances which have "put them behind" a little bit. Everyone's situation is individual and unique.

However, I wouldn't think it would be to much to ask to find someone whom I can gladly call my "equal." I want a man who shows initiative, is ambitious, hard-working, and shows great leadership. He doesn't have to be as educated as I am or even as ambitious; however, I would like to find someone who doesn't make me feel like I would have to be the one "running the show" should things ever get serious. Simply put, what I am looking for is someone who a) knows where he is going in life--both career wise and otherwise, b) what he wants out of life--both personally and professionally, and c) is actually putting the wheels in motion to make it happen.

For those of you who are still "figuring it all out," I would highly recommend a book called "Would You Date You?" Although it is not typical of men to read a self-help book I think this one is worth mentioning because it requires you to take a deep look in the mirror and see if you truly are in a ready, in many aspects of your life, to start a relationship.

God bless,

Tiffiany rose hersheyskiss theheart

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Mar 24th 2013 new

We are out there but tough to find. Even better when we believe what the Church teaches and have a love for the liturgy of the Church (Roman Rite and Byzantine Rite). I've doubled my salary in a year at work and working on my ATP Certification which would enable me to have more career opportunities, thanks be to God. This has still only lead me to find only "chat buddies" on here (one that lasted nearly four months; we met originally on eHarmony and then lost contact, got matched here and when I asked for a date she said OK but the next day said she was not ready to date anyone and only created a profile to see if anyone would *ever* be interested in her), which is good after a while, but not what I'm looking for in the long run. I'm not exactly Brad Pitt by any means but the mind and faith is beautiful. :-)

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Mar 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Edward-926612 said: We are out there but tough to find. Even better when we believe what the Church teaches and have...
(Quote) Edward-926612 said:

We are out there but tough to find. Even better when we believe what the Church teaches and have a love for the liturgy of the Church (Roman Rite and Byzantine Rite). I've doubled my salary in a year at work and working on my ATP Certification which would enable me to have more career opportunities, thanks be to God. This has still only lead me to find only "chat buddies" on here (one that lasted nearly four months; we met originally on eHarmony and then lost contact, got matched here and when I asked for a date she said OK but the next day said she was not ready to date anyone and only created a profile to see if anyone would *ever* be interested in her), which is good after a while, but not what I'm looking for in the long run. I'm not exactly Brad Pitt by any means but the mind and faith is beautiful. :-)

--hide--

Well thank you Edward for participating and sharing your story. I am sorry to hear how that woman treated you. I am certainly not looking for Brad Pitt. Granted if someone very attractive came along that'd be great, but to me having intelligence, ambition, goals, and a strong relationship with God are all more important to me. I'm sick and tired of hearing from guys who don't have it--or nearly anything--together in their lives. I'm looking for someone who can be a leader and doesn't make me feel like I have to be the leader. There unfortuantely aren't enough bold, leader-type men on this site; or if there are, they certainly are remainging low-key. It's time for you guys to come out of the woodworks. We women want strong men!

LOCKED
Mar 25th 2013 new

I come from a culture where living at home isn't really frowned upon especially if you make a financial contribution to the household. I do agree that there don't seem to be a high concentration of that description of the type of guy you're describing Tiffany.

Coming from a guy who does have high ambition and constantly trying to better myself through personal development/faith I hope you do find that match. There's always that fine balance between being "too picky" and "settling" but honestly the things you're asking for really isn't much. It's either time for these guys to make their appearance or step up their game.

I'm just starting to get more acquainted with this site and maybe the standards I've set will come to fruition here.

LOCKED
Mar 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Kevin-807720 said: I come from a culture where living at home isn't really frowned upon especially if you make a...
(Quote) Kevin-807720 said:

I come from a culture where living at home isn't really frowned upon especially if you make a financial contribution to the household. I do agree that there don't seem to be a high concentration of that description of the type of guy you're describing Tiffany.

Coming from a guy who does have high ambition and constantly trying to better myself through personal development/faith I hope you do find that match. There's always that fine balance between being "too picky" and "settling" but honestly the things you're asking for really isn't much. It's either time for these guys to make their appearance or step up their game.

I'm just starting to get more acquainted with this site and maybe the standards I've set will come to fruition here.

--hide--

Well cultural differences aside, in American culture, living at home past a certain age, especially if you are a man, is a bit ridiculous from a woman's perspective. Now if a guy is living at home and financially contributing to help out his parents then that is a different story. Not as attractive as if he had his own place, but either way it's rare to find a guy who's financially independent, has an education, a decent career going on, and seems like he is "headed somewhere" in life. So many guys focus on finding a woman to date that if they took just half that time to focus on personal goals and achievements they may find that they'd be more attractive candidates.

LOCKED
Mar 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Tiffiany-902101 said: Well thank you Edward for participating and sharing your story. I am sorry t...
(Quote) Tiffiany-902101 said:

Well thank you Edward for participating and sharing your story. I am sorry to hear how that woman treated you. I am certainly not looking for Brad Pitt. Granted if someone very attractive came along that'd be great, but to me having intelligence, ambition, goals, and a strong relationship with God are all more important to me. I'm sick and tired of hearing from guys who don't have it--or nearly anything--together in their lives. I'm looking for someone who can be a leader and doesn't make me feel like I have to be the leader. There unfortuantely aren't enough bold, leader-type men on this site; or if there are, they certainly are remainging low-key. It's time for you guys to come out of the woodworks. We women want strong men!

--hide--


It's OK. It just builds character and you learn from your experience. I tell everyone who I am around, you have to improve. Spiritually --- this means more frequent visitations to the Blessed Sacrament, going to Confession often, reading more spiritually (this is key), etc. In our daily lives too, set out goals. I was greatly overweight, did something about it and continue on. I didn't like where my career was going at Walgreens a little over two years ago, did something about it. I moved my way up the system at my current job, was employee of the quarter for Q1 in 2012 and within a year I have helped someone in my company be not only promoted, but developed them into the Q1 employee for 2013. It's just placing our hope in the name of the Lord and knowing that He will take care of us. I think people need to have more ambition in life and not just sit on the status quo. If we sit on the status quo, we aren't actually sitting but becoming worst.

LOCKED
Mar 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Edward-926612 said: It's OK. It just builds character and you learn from your experience. I tell everyon...
(Quote) Edward-926612 said:



It's OK. It just builds character and you learn from your experience. I tell everyone who I am around, you have to improve. Spiritually --- this means more frequent visitations to the Blessed Sacrament, going to Confession often, reading more spiritually (this is key), etc. In our daily lives too, set out goals. I was greatly overweight, did something about it and continue on. I didn't like where my career was going at Walgreens a little over two years ago, did something about it. I moved my way up the system at my current job, was employee of the quarter for Q1 in 2012 and within a year I have helped someone in my company be not only promoted, but developed them into the Q1 employee for 2013. It's just placing our hope in the name of the Lord and knowing that He will take care of us. I think people need to have more ambition in life and not just sit on the status quo. If we sit on the status quo, we aren't actually sitting but becoming worst.

--hide--

Well said Edward! A positive attitude is always good to have and highly attractive. I like the verse of Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men." And another, 1 Timothy 5:8 "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worst than an unbeliever." To me this speaks that obviously, you should work hard and be ambitious in all you do--obviously, if you were working for God that's how you would work. And, if a man is unable to provide for himself above and beyond and still mooches off of his parents then well, how can he provide for a future family? If he can't provide for a future family, he shouldn't be looking for a woman to date, plain and simple, black and white.

LOCKED
Mar 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Tiffiany-902101 said: Well cultural differences aside, in American culture, living at home past a ...
(Quote) Tiffiany-902101 said:

Well cultural differences aside, in American culture, living at home past a certain age, especially if you are a man, is a bit ridiculous from a woman's perspective. Now if a guy is living at home and financially contributing to help out his parents then that is a different story. Not as attractive as if he had his own place, but either way it's rare to find a guy who's financially independent, has an education, a decent career going on, and seems like he is "headed somewhere" in life. So many guys focus on finding a woman to date that if they took just half that time to focus on personal goals and achievements they may find that they'd be more attractive candidates.

--hide--

I understand the cultural difference and I think that's why sometimes I have to limit my search to people who come from a similar background. It's not that I can't afford my own place, it just doesn't make financial sense since my office is very close to home and I travel alot. But to expand on your point, I think some people are simply more concerned about relationship status more than being the best version of themselves.

LOCKED
Mar 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Tiffiany-902101 said: Well said Edward! A positive attitude is always good to have and highly attr...
(Quote) Tiffiany-902101 said:

Well said Edward! A positive attitude is always good to have and highly attractive. I like the verse of Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men." And another, 1 Timothy 5:8 "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worst than an unbeliever." To me this speaks that obviously, you should work hard and be ambitious in all you do--obviously, if you were working for God that's how you would work. And, if a man is unable to provide for himself above and beyond and still mooches off of his parents then well, how can he provide for a future family? If he can't provide for a future family, he shouldn't be looking for a woman to date, plain and simple, black and white.

--hide--


That's true. When I was working at Walgreens I was fresh out of college. Despite a college degree --- I was working with a salary just above minimum wage. I tried my best at growing in the company but they were downsizing. Needless to say, I could barely support myself at the time let alone anyone else so I didn't date much until recently (that and I believe any dating should be with the intention of "is this person someone that I would potentially like to get to know in order to possibly join in the sacrament of holy matrimony with?) God works in mysterious ways and we should just look at the holy family as our example. St. Joseph being there for our Lord as a carpenter providing for the family be it financially or even fleeing persecution.

LOCKED
Mar 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Kevin-807720 said: I understand the cultural difference and I think that's why sometimes I have to limi...
(Quote) Kevin-807720 said:

I understand the cultural difference and I think that's why sometimes I have to limit my search to people who come from a similar background. It's not that I can't afford my own place, it just doesn't make financial sense since my office is very close to home and I travel alot. But to expand on your point, I think some people are simply more concerned about relationship status more than being the best version of themselves.

--hide--

Well, I think with your cultural difference it will be hard for you to find an Americanized woman who understands your situation. As for me, I've been pretty independent since I was 14 or so--helped to raise my two younger siblings, etc. So, it's going to take a very strong man to make me feel like he's the leader. I feel like if a guy lives at home, even if it is financially easier, it still shows a lack of motivation to cut the apron strings and experience real life. Not to offend you, just how I feel and what most women would probably say. A woman wants to feel like the man she's dating has his "stuff together." Especially if we have ours together. We want to be equally yoked.

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