Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael
It always fascinating to read some of the posts about chastity and other issues and compare it to society at large. We live in such a sexualized world that increasingly believe that two guys or two gals attempting to make a mockery of God's sacred institution or marriage is perfectly fine. In contrast, there are members on this site concerned about "impure thoughts." It feels like entering a twilight zone of sorts, although, I applaud all those who attempt to live according to their interpretation Theology of Body teachings - even ones that I may feel may take things a bit to the extreme.
One thing that I do wonder about for catholic couples on the journey to marriage is how do they make the transition from seemingly one "extreme" way of living to the other "extreme." If the expectation for non married couples is to be 100% completely chaste in mind, body and soul, is it reasonable to assume that everything will be ok once a marriage occurs? I hope the answer is yes but I imagine sometimes the answer is no. It is interesting reading about Christopher West's TOB interpretation where he seems to put such a premium on sexual relations in a marriage. I understand that sexual relations in a marriage has its time and place, but I believe that it shouldn't be over glorified as well. There are plently of valid reasons why married couples would abstain from sexual relations from time to time and I don't think their marriages should be seen as less valid.
So, how does the immediate transition from chastity to mega sexual being exactly work? Perhaps those who have been divorced or have had their marriages annulled could comment on this phenomena (without being too explicit, of course.)
How about some input from us widowed people?
You say: is it reasonable to assume that everything will be ok once a marriage occurs?
YES -- provided that each partner approaches the other in a spirit of kindness, consideration, and generosity each and every time!!!
You say: I understand that sexual relations in a marriage has its time and place, but I believe that it shouldn't be over glorified as well.
Realistically, "over glorification" occurs on the honeymoon, and during the first few months of married life, and maybe on vacation in later years.
You say: There are plently of valid reasons why married couples would abstain from sexual relations from time to time.
Yes. The first reason is, lack of strength! If both of you work a 40-hour week plus commuting time, on most work days one or both is too tired.
Second: Time is limited.... Weekends include errands, chore, visits/outing with friends. This is where the obligation to make time for physical love comes in...because it slips to the back burner in the chaos of the rest of life.
Third: Add in a baby (or several) and your time and energy are further sapped.
Fourth: If you are following Natural Family Planning (of any type) you are abstaining for 7-10 days a month. Many couple prefer to abstain another 5-7 days anyway...which together effectively gives you two weekends a month to "get it on".
You ask: how does the immediate transition from chastity to mega sexual being exactly work?
You enjoy it while you can, and recapture it whenever possible.
You suggested that a marriage with "less" sex might be viewed as "less valid".
Anytime sex is used as a weapon, a bargaining chip, or an imposition -- you are in trouble. If it is always a gift -- you will be all right.