Hi Sarah and Donna! I agree. There are just some lines you don't cross! I had a 30 year friendship end this way. As most relationships go, though, it was over before it was over. Still, it's sad that my friend chose to show so little control in the things he said to me. I find it hard to believe that a person, after saying such things, could believe that all could be forgiven and forgotten. Forgiven, yes. Forgotten, no.
I am of the camp that if someone does something to you once, they are apt to do it to you again. Especially in situations such as these. I think it takes an awful lot to get to the point where one will say such things. (Rhetoricial question or not!) Doesn't that mean they've already lost a certain amount of respect for you already? It would mean that for me. If I'm even thinking of saying such things, the relationship probably doesn't have much hope for survival anyway. If I actually say them, then, it's over - at least for me! Chelle
I agree Chelle. I think there is a difference between blurting out in the heat of the moment "You always _____!" and apologizing later. Those ("You always ____!") are observable behaviors. They aren't good for arguments either, of course, but it can happen to the best of us if we let things simmer over time. But the relationship (friendship or otherwise) has already been in trouble if someone uses things divulged in private/vulnerability. For me, when those are used in arguments it is with the deliberate intent of hurting someone. The person is using that which is most important to us to "win". I think that is the opposite of relationship for me.