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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Mar 27th 2013 new
(Quote) Susan-940526 said: This is a HUGE problem I'm experiencing right now. And why I now know that being intim...
(Quote) Susan-940526 said:




This is a HUGE problem I'm experiencing right now. And why I now know that being intimate doesn't work unless you have the commitment of marrige. That chemical bond is a killer and hard to let go of.

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You can take your situation into prayer and break the soul ties with former relationships. It helps if you have a trusted spiritual director or confessor. I just returned from a 5 day Healing retreat where breaking those soul ties were part of the process. Amazing encounter of God's grace. He does not want you to stay bound.
Mar 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Barbara-689659 said: He says they're "just friends," but he confides in her, or relies on her guidance, or
(Quote) Barbara-689659 said:

He says they're "just friends," but he confides in her, or relies on her guidance, or she's not ready to let go. That's a huge red flag to me, that he's hanging on to an intimate relationship with another woman. At that point I ask him to decide whether he wants to let go of that past relationship, or stop seeing me. To me, there's nothing pure and holy in hanging on to a former partner with whom you've been intimate.


I'm not talking about ex-wives, where children are involved, just ex-girlfriends or wives, no children. The issue, to me, is purity. I know some people will say my standards are too high, but why should I be expected to be "one of many" if we're supposedly in an exclusive relationship? What do you think? Would like to get some guys' views on this as well. Can you let go of past intimate relationships?

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As a Guy,, if i had this happening to me (where the Girl was still emotionally involved with her Ex.. confiding and asking guidance) I would "bounce" her. To me it's clearly a sign of them not being able to let go and move on, and what's the point in trying to build a relationship with someone who's not there mentally. Ugghhh!! wide eyed rolling eyes faint Praying

Mar 27th 2013 new

Barbara, been there done that. I've had a relationship awhile back but I was the past relationship so it is a bit different where the jerk was two timing. I can tell you either you have to be confident in yourself to know you are worthy of such a sacred, pure, exclusive relationship, and then and give it all to God. See what attributes he brings to the relationship and weigh against the ones he don't. Have the strength in yourself to say you are better than that and don't need the person in your life as he is clearly not monogamous or capable of it.

With this guy I would totally get out now and save yourself the hardship as he is clearly playing the field on both sides and won't stop unless the past relationship says enough or the present one does. He wants his cake and wants to eat it too.

If he was in to you, he would be just in to you, and not need the advice from his past (more than likely present) relationship(s). I have to ask this one question which is the glue that holds a relationship together. DO you trust him? I noticed you mentioned he said "she's not ready to let go". I don't buy that. I believe he is stringing both parties along and he is not ready to let her go. If he were a decent guy he would spare the other person and present relationship major hardships down the road and make a decision.


I will pray for you for discernment and just know in your heart this guy isn't the right one for you and move on and heal and you will feel more confident and the right choices will be easier to make down the road Praying rosary theheart

Also, your standards aren't too high, they are expected biggrin

Mar 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Bob-59786 said: (Quote) Bernard-2709 said: So what is Bob talking about? ...
(Quote) Bob-59786 said:

Quote:
Bernard-2709 said:

So what is Bob talking about?


I'm agreeing w/ you Bernard. Barbara should watch "The Thunder Rolls" by Garth Brooks on youtube dated Dec 12, 2012.

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Thanks for the clarification Bob.

Mar 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Bernard-2709 said: Thanks for the clarification Bob.
(Quote) Bernard-2709 said:

Thanks for the clarification Bob.

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You're welcome Bernard.

Mar 27th 2013 new
(Quote) Joanna-615441 said: You can take your situation into prayer and break the soul ties with former relationships. It helps if y...
(Quote) Joanna-615441 said:

You can take your situation into prayer and break the soul ties with former relationships. It helps if you have a trusted spiritual director or confessor. I just returned from a 5 day Healing retreat where breaking those soul ties were part of the process. Amazing encounter of God's grace. He does not want you to stay bound.
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Joanna,

That sounds like a great retreat you went on. Can you give us more info on that, such as who ran it or if there is literature on that. Thanks
Mar 27th 2013 new
(Quote) Josephine-586127 said: Joanna, That sounds like a great retreat you went on. Can you give us more info on th...
(Quote) Josephine-586127 said:

Joanna,



That sounds like a great retreat you went on. Can you give us more info on that, such as who ran it or if there is literature on that. Thanks
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I wilk send the link in a private email to anyone who is interested in these retreats
Mar 27th 2013 new
(Quote) Joanna-615441 said: I wilk send the link in a private email to anyone who is interested in these retreats
(Quote) Joanna-615441 said:

I wilk send the link in a private email to anyone who is interested in these retreats
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Got it. Thanks you so much Joanna.
Jun 8th 2013 new
Hi Marian,
That's not a "spiritual tie" for the release of the chemicals, that is an emotional tie, at best. For most men, it's not even that, unless it is repeated enough with a woman with whom he has a romantic inclination and intention of commitment. It is just a release of stress.
Jun 8th 2013 new
Awesome post being resurrected. Thank you for this!

I was recently ENGAGED to such a man who made all kinds of excuses for holding on to "friends" and then it turned out also women with whom he had the marital act with outside of marriage. He eventually started LYING (or at least, eventually things he as saying were becoming self-evident to be lies), all the while he was telling me daily that he loved me, and wanted to marry me as we planned our future. Then I tagged him on FB with a photo of us together and that weekend it fell apart. (Go figure!) Suddenly he split when I asked him a question about a phone number of a friend (married woman) who he said he had a "lot in common with" but didn't have "se.... uhhh, I wasn't actually pursuing her romantically...!" (He had originally told me he had her number in his phone just to see if she calls him so he would ignore it, but he had said she never phoned him. Uhhh... that would be he pursued her. doh! I don't buy that superman stuff that he needed to be there for her emotionally. It was obviously not a one-off thing, from his own words.)

You know the old saying, "Liar, liar, pants on fire!" Yep! His pants were on fire ... no doubt! All the while, he told his family that he broke up with me because I was ungrateful for all that he did for me! Wow! I trust him and NEVER accused him of cheating, and actually didn't believe he was until AFTER he broke up with me suddenly, then it all started making sense. I could tell you more, but believe me, he is a LIAR. I met him HERE; and he pretends to be a traditional, Catholic man who is chaste and virtuous, yet, he actually used to tell me (each time before he's split) that I made him "feel like (he) wasn't good enough" admittedly NOT for anything I said or did, but for my very virtue that he pretended to share in order to win my trust and affection in the first place.

Yes, your post was awesome. People really need to consider this. Old baggage should be tossed out. Either you want to cling to God and HIS Holy Will, or you want to cling on to memories of sin and access to doing it again.

Can't get to heaven by always presuming on God's grace. Presumption in this manner is a GRAVE SIN.

Pray for these types because they otherwise won't make it.+
OREMUS!
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