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I'm having a hard time getting a read on some of the attitudes, especially in interview questions, that I come across - some of them seem so loaded and extreme that it really kind of scares me off a bit.

I certainly understand that you'd want to know if a person you'd potentially be interested in shared crucial views. Still, they often give me the impression that most of the men out there looking are extremely unbending and well, extreme, with so specific a person in mind that we might as well not bother because they aren't out there. The online dating thing is hard, to me, already because of the way you have to put yourself out there. You can't be shy and have it work, whereas if you meet someone you often have time to at least observe for a minute or two. The extreme attitudes make it so much worse, and there's a lot of them!

Just to clarify, I'm not talking about issues of Catholic doctrine; these questions are more about Catholic culture (which can vary), ie a woman's role vs a man's, etc.

Does anyone else stuggle with the small world of Catholic singles becoming even smaller by more extreme views, and do you have any advice or helpful hints for navigating that? Also, I have been off and on this site, but havent yet been active for long periods of time...am I just getting a bad early impression or are the extremes really so prevalent? It often seems that the focus is mostly on differentiators, not what's held in common.

03/09/2013 new

I guess maybe I'm an extremist, since I have very certain ideas about what I want and need in a marriage, so I'm more choosy. I have a hard time finding someone that can nail those specific points (mostly Catholic culture); I'm finding more of the generalists that I can't really get a good read off of. I wouldn't get discouraged; it's all in God's Hands - He'll have us run across someone when we're good and ready. :) But yes, for me, there do seem to be fewer and fewer Catholic men out there that sort of come close to what I'm looking for. I know no one is perfect, so I'm not asking for perfection either; I'd be happy if there was an approximation lol. Just gotta be patient - that has to be the hardest virtue to master lol. Good luck to you, Cortney!

03/21/2013 new

(Quote) Cortney-682048 said:...- some of them seem so loaded and extreme that it really kind of scares me off a bit.
(Quote) Cortney-682048 said:...- some of them seem so loaded and extreme that it really kind of scares me off a bit.
--hide--
Some people are sinlge because they are rigid, unbending, and judgmental.
As a minimum, IMHO, each quiz question should contain an option of "none of the above" or "other" or "ask me privately". My own quiz has one question with the option of "this is too personal to discuss".

03/27/2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: Some people are sinlge because they are rigid, unbending, and judgmental.As a minimum, IMHO, ...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

Some people are sinlge because they are rigid, unbending, and judgmental.
As a minimum, IMHO, each quiz question should contain an option of "none of the above" or "other" or "ask me privately". My own quiz has one question with the option of "this is too personal to discuss".

--hide--


Hi Marge! When I redo my interview questions, I will definitely put those as possible answers. I especially like the "ask me privately" response. So few things in life are black and white. I think part of getting to know someone is understanding how they think - their perspective. It's hard to get that from only a profile and some questions. Personally, I think both of those are just starting places anyway. Chelle

03/28/2013 new

Cortney I too find the interview questions too loaded. Many of the questions do seem rigid with no option for "all of the above" or "other" . For example what is your favourite season? With only 4 options?? Well I like gardening and all seasons bring joyful flowers out. What? Or who is your favourite Archangel with no option for more than one . What?? .I mean there is St Gabriel, St Michael and St Raphael. I am going to have a cup of tea. you go and have some coffee.

03/28/2013 new

Re: angels. No option for "Who cares?" either.

03/28/2013 new

My training was in marketing research. Survey/questionnaire design is a special skill that even professionals often don't do well.
Chalk it up to inexperience and start emailing people. smile

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