Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
Learn More: Saint Rita

Little ones in Mass

Mar 30th 2013 new

Good morning,
I have a 4 year old foster daughter that I take to Mass with me. She is pretty much like any other 4 year old in Mass, can't sit still and it is challenging to keep her quiet shhh . I pack a quiet bag for her with a few books and a small pad of paper for her to draw in. I am having a hard time paying attention in Mass now because I am so concerned with keeping her quiet. She doesn't like to be corrected so it can be challenging to remind her how she is expected to behave. Thankfully she hasn't had a temper tantrum in church yet but she crawls on the floor and under the pews to pout. I wish we had childcare for younger kids because I don't feel like they are ready to sit in Mass at this young age. I am a convert, was raised Methodist and went to Sunday School as a child and loved it. Any suggestions?

Mar 30th 2013 new

1. Sit near the exit.
2. See if your parish has a CCD/Sunday school for pre-schoolers. Mine liked it.
3. Give her a plastic rosary and tell her how to say it. (I realize she probably hasn't mastered the prayers, but I remember running my fingers over the beads just saying, "Our Father, Hail Mary, Hail Mary, Hail Mary...Glory Be, Our Father" etc. when I was little.)
4. Make sure the picture books you give her are church-related. A Catholic bookstore should be full of them, or you can order from the Daughters of St. Paul.
5. If your priest greets the people outside before or after Mass, get in the habit of greeting him. If the kids are acquainted with the priest, they behave a bit better because they're not just sitting in a crowd of strangers.
6. If your church has coffee and donuts after Mass, always attend.
7. Don't worry too much. If she makes noise, some fussy old bag will turn around and tell you where the crying room is. wink

Mar 30th 2013 new

Hi Karla,

I admire you for opening your faith, heart and home to your foster daughter. God's work is remarkable and evident in each of our lives. I no longer have a young child but I do have a 26 year old special needs son who can still be challenging and distracting during mass. When he was younger, I found that if he was allowed to choose one faith related item, which was usually one of his small prayer books, he was a little better behaved and I was able to listen to the message of the lord during mass. I recall one single mother who always brought a big bag of coloring books and crayons to mass for her two young daughters. They would dump everything out on the pew yet they were not content and continued to be noisy and distracting. One Sunday these little ladies sat directly in front of my son and me and I kind of groaned. I know, not very charitable of me. As they became disruptive rather quickly I thought perhaps they are bored with the same items every week, so I offered them my son's prayer book. They both sat quietly and looked at the stories and pictures for about 15 minutes. Yes, only 15 minutes but I saw the relief in their mother's eyes as she was able to then focus on the mass. I know there is no one fix for each child but I hope this helps. Prayers are sent for both of you Praying Praying

Have a blessed Easter.

~Pam

Mar 30th 2013 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: Don't worry too much. If she makes noise, some fussy old bag will turn around and tell you wh...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

Don't worry too much. If she makes noise, some fussy old bag will turn around and tell you where the crying room is.

--hide--

Hahaha Marge, isn't that the truth! All good suggestions. When my son was young he would attend a christian church with my friends whenever I went out of town. I thought my friends were nuts when they would sit at the very front of the church with my special needs son during the service. Fortunately the minister had a big heart and a sense of humor. One Sunday my son started repeating some of the words in the sermon and without missing a beat, the minister would reply to my son..." that's right Curtis, 3 days"... "wow Curtis I'm sure glad someone is listening to me" laughing

On the other hand, I recall a priest who would glare at me if my son and I sat in the front pew, and those were the days when Curtis was the best behaved angel

Mar 30th 2013 new

(Quote) Pam-940031 said: Hi Karla, I admire you for opening your faith, heart and home to your foster daughter. God&#...
(Quote) Pam-940031 said:

Hi Karla,

I admire you for opening your faith, heart and home to your foster daughter. God's work is remarkable and evident in each of our lives. I no longer have a young child but I do have a 26 year old special needs son who can still be challenging and distracting during mass. When he was younger, I found that if he was allowed to choose one faith related item, which was usually one of his small prayer books, he was a little better behaved and I was able to listen to the message of the lord during mass. I recall one single mother who always brought a big bag of coloring books and crayons to mass for her two young daughters. They would dump everything out on the pew yet they were not content and continued to be noisy and distracting. One Sunday these little ladies sat directly in front of my son and me and I kind of groaned. I know, not very charitable of me. As they became disruptive rather quickly I thought perhaps they are bored with the same items every week, so I offered them my son's prayer book. They both sat quietly and looked at the stories and pictures for about 15 minutes. Yes, only 15 minutes but I saw the relief in their mother's eyes as she was able to then focus on the mass. I know there is no one fix for each child but I hope this helps. Prayers are sent for both of you

Have a blessed Easter.

~Pam

--hide--

Hi Karla,

Like Pam, I had a special needs son (and a daughter with ADHD). Strangely enough, my kids behaved better when we sat up front, because they could see what was going on - at least when they were a little older. When they were four & five, I wasn't brave enough to try. When they were that little, I fussed and fumed and felt bad that I wasn't able to participate in Mass more. I finally found a church with a lively, loving congregation and a balcony where I could sit near the door and they could stand and look down without bothering anyone - everyone else had little kids, too. We attended the 10:30a Mass, which has been referred to as the ADHD Mass. It has a loud band, during the sign of peace everyone gets up and wanders around greeting each other and we even have an elderly lady who used to dance barefoot during the opening and closing hymns! It's a little non-traditional wink , and not what I was comfortable with, but it helped me to keep my mind on Mass (somewhat) and keep my kids from climbing the walls. I also snuck off to weekday Mass occasionally to have a little time without my little ones distracting me! God bless!

Mar 30th 2013 new

(Quote) Karla-113052 said: Good morning,I have a 4 year old foster daughter that I take to Mass with me. She is pretty m...
(Quote) Karla-113052 said:

Good morning,
I have a 4 year old foster daughter that I take to Mass with me. She is pretty much like any other 4 year old in Mass, can't sit still and it is challenging to keep her quiet . I pack a quiet bag for her with a few books and a small pad of paper for her to draw in. I am having a hard time paying attention in Mass now because I am so concerned with keeping her quiet. She doesn't like to be corrected so it can be challenging to remind her how she is expected to behave. Thankfully she hasn't had a temper tantrum in church yet but she crawls on the floor and under the pews to pout. I wish we had childcare for younger kids because I don't feel like they are ready to sit in Mass at this young age. I am a convert, was raised Methodist and went to Sunday School as a child and loved it. Any suggestions?

--hide--


Keep a sense of humor.

What do you call a Catholic Church with no kids in it?

Anglican. laughing laughing laughing

If the Mass is a Sacrificial Banquet, then there have to be some kids in line throwing peas.


wave

Mar 31st 2013 new

Well, with 5 kids, I know your challenges laughing ! I think one of the main purposes of mass during these years for me, is to teach my kids what it is about...not solely what I obtain personally through mass. I think, or I hope and pray, that God is giving me graces when I'm not focused on what is going on but rather trying to keep my kid focused. Going to mass alone is such a treat & I soak up every minute of it biggrin

Mar 31st 2013 new
I go to Sat evening Mass by myself and Sun morn Mass with my kids -- I get a 'double dose' and the peace of going alone AND the joy of going with family!
Mar 31st 2013 new

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and support. She does well considering she has probably never attended church before. I should try and work it out to go to our Wednesday night Mass at times alone so I can have some "me" time at church. I found a church near me that does offer childcare but I LOVE my church and don't want to go anywhere else.
Happy Easter!

Mar 31st 2013 new

(Quote) Karla-113052 said: Thank you everyone for your suggestions and support. She does well considering she has probably n...
(Quote) Karla-113052 said:

Thank you everyone for your suggestions and support. She does well considering she has probably never attended church before. I should try and work it out to go to our Wednesday night Mass at times alone so I can have some "me" time at church. I found a church near me that does offer childcare but I LOVE my church and don't want to go anywhere else.
Happy Easter!

--hide--

HI Karla,

kiddos in Mass can be challenging. But, they eventually get there :-). Sitting toward the front where she can see what is happening also helps. I found Mass a good time for calm cuddling. I hadn't even realized it so much until a friend of mine said she just loved it that my kiddos cuddled and hung on me. I began to appreciate those moments with one of them leaning against me and stroking their arm or holding them as they curled against me. I was calm and serene and they were calm and Mass was then accessible.

My son is almost 27, by the time he was about fifteen or so, he had developed a real leadership quality about him. We have one family at church who are very permissive in their parenting and seem oblivious to their children's behavior. We sat behind them often and one day Josh leaned over tapped the younger boy on the shoulder, picked him up and lifted him over into our pew, leaned down and whispered to him, then put his arm around his shoulder and pulled him close to his side. I wanted to cry. It was the first mass the younger boy was still. When he started to fidget or something Josh would glance down at him and give a disapproving look or a shake of the head. No fuss just calm authority and example. All the more remarkable because Josh could get himself in plenty of trouble himself, like at one of the parish lunches, we can hear footsteps across the roof of the parish hall, Father gets up to investigate, just in time to see Josh scramble over the little canopy in front of the doors, shimmy down the rail and plop to the ground. Of course he stops short in front of Father, who asks him what he's doing, then looks up to see a few other boys with him. Just playing was the answer. Fr. sternly told them all to get down then told Josh you may be part monkey that doesn't mean the others are, so no climbing on the roof, the other boys will follow your lead.

Posts 1 - 10 of 28