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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Every now and then, my Mom will ask me if I've had any luck on Catholic Match. Usually, if I meet someone and it has progressed beyond the initial communication stage, I will mention her to my Mom. For whatever reason, the majority of women that I have connected with on here live in a different state than I do. Some of them even live in a different country. Usually I will begin describing the woman and then my Mom will ask the inevitable question: "And where does she live?" Now, I love both of my parents very much and my Dad asks me as well although my Mom is more inquisitive than he is. So, whenever I respond by saying that she lives in a different state, it is often greeted with a soft, audible sigh or a nonchalant "Uh huh, uh huh". And I know that she's not really crazy about this, but as I've said to them many times, "I love you, but this is my life".

Yes, it would be more ideal for me to meet someone in the same city or state which would take us 30 minutes or less to meet up somewhere. And, don't even get me started with the friends, acquaintances, etc. that want to lecture you on why you should meet someone at a local bar or club instead. I usually get this from older people who are disdainful of the Internet and think that every potential person you could meet online is a psychopath. LOL With all due respect, finding a future spouse at a bar or club today is like expecting to find love at the Playboy Mansion. I'm not saying that it's impossible, but most people don't go to the Playboy Mansion to find true love anymore than they do expecting to find peace and quiet in New York City.

Maybe it's the idealist or the romantic in me that believes that pretty much anything is possible and is willing to literally and figuratively "go the extra mile". I just would hate having to think that I gave up on potentially meeting my future wife because I let something like geography and distance get in the way. The reality is that we are in a different century now and times have changed. Most people don't just meet up at the bars and clubs anymore. And, with a few exceptions, most people that go to those places are younger and they are usually looking to "hook up" with someone for a fling. Even a lot of the younger people now have taken to the Internet to find a long-term relationship. And I realize that times are tough in this current economy and not everyone can afford to just pay money on plane tickets and jet-set across the country or the world. But I also believe that if you save your money and not spend it foolishly and both of you can work around each other's calendars, that a meeting is not only possible but probable.

So, don't pay attention to the naysayers and doom-and-gloomers who frequently will show up with the Greek chorus that says "You're wasting your tiiiime!" Any time spent pursuing a dream is never wasted. Sitting on your butt doing nothing and moaning and groaning about how you'll never find anyone or happiness is wasting time. Having faith in Christ, God, the Holy Spirit and yourself is more than enough to carry you throughout the day even in the midst of the naysayers and doom-and-gloomers. Don't you just love it when some people will ask you why you aren't married yet, but then they will start arguing with their significant other and then tell you "Don't ever get married." LOL That doesn't have to be you. Moreover, it won't be you if you take the time to find the right person for you unlike most of them who settled and did what everyone else was doing because "that's what everyone does". Follow your heart. Follow your soul. It's a lesson I've had to learn many times over because I've sabotaged potentially wonderful long-distance relationships in the past, too. I won't again. Never. And neither should you.

Mar 31st 2013 new

Very nicely stated, Jeff! Yes, sometimes we have to think outside the box and be willing to go the extra mile if we really want someone special in your life.

Apr 1st 2013 new
(Quote) Jeff-406043 said: Every now and then, my Mom will ask me if I've had any luck on Catholic Match. Usually, if I meet someone a...
(Quote) Jeff-406043 said:

Every now and then, my Mom will ask me if I've had any luck on Catholic Match. Usually, if I meet someone and it has progressed beyond the initial communication stage, I will mention her to my Mom. For whatever reason, the majority of women that I have connected with on here live in a different state than I do. Some of them even live in a different country. Usually I will begin describing the woman and then my Mom will ask the inevitable question: "And where does she live?" Now, I love both of my parents very much and my Dad asks me as well although my Mom is more inquisitive than he is. So, whenever I respond by saying that she lives in a different state, it is often greeted with a soft, audible sigh or a nonchalant "Uh huh, uh huh". And I know that she's not really crazy about this, but as I've said to them many times, "I love you, but this is my life".

Yes, it would be more ideal for me to meet someone in the same city or state which would take us 30 minutes or less to meet up somewhere. And, don't even get me started with the friends, acquaintances, etc. that want to lecture you on why you should meet someone at a local bar or club instead. I usually get this from older people who are disdainful of the Internet and think that every potential person you could meet online is a psychopath. LOL With all due respect, finding a future spouse at a bar or club today is like expecting to find love at the Playboy Mansion. I'm not saying that it's impossible, but most people don't go to the Playboy Mansion to find true love anymore than they do expecting to find peace and quiet in New York City.

Maybe it's the idealist or the romantic in me that believes that pretty much anything is possible and is willing to literally and figuratively "go the extra mile". I just would hate having to think that I gave up on potentially meeting my future wife because I let something like geography and distance get in the way. The reality is that we are in a different century now and times have changed. Most people don't just meet up at the bars and clubs anymore. And, with a few exceptions, most people that go to those places are younger and they are usually looking to "hook up" with someone for a fling. Even a lot of the younger people now have taken to the Internet to find a long-term relationship. And I realize that times are tough in this current economy and not everyone can afford to just pay money on plane tickets and jet-set across the country or the world. But I also believe that if you save your money and not spend it foolishly and both of you can work around each other's calendars, that a meeting is not only possible but probable.

So, don't pay attention to the naysayers and doom-and-gloomers who frequently will show up with the Greek chorus that says "You're wasting your tiiiime!" Any time spent pursuing a dream is never wasted. Sitting on your butt doing nothing and moaning and groaning about how you'll never find anyone or happiness is wasting time. Having faith in Christ, God, the Holy Spirit and yourself is more than enough to carry you throughout the day even in the midst of the naysayers and doom-and-gloomers. Don't you just love it when some people will ask you why you aren't married yet, but then they will start arguing with their significant other and then tell you "Don't ever get married." LOL That doesn't have to be you. Moreover, it won't be you if you take the time to find the right person for you unlike most of them who settled and did what everyone else was doing because "that's what everyone does". Follow your heart. Follow your soul. It's a lesson I've had to learn many times over because I've sabotaged potentially wonderful long-distance relationships in the past, too. I won't again. Never. And neither should you.

--hide--


Amen, brother!!!
Apr 1st 2013 new

What's that speil about a man leaving his family and cleaving to his wife?

My parents met in the same city, where both sets of their parents lived. They ended up moving six hours away. [Honestly, six hour drive is nothing in this country, heck, 12 hours isn't even considered bothersome].

My dad's parents eventually followed to the town my parents moved to, as my dad was their only kid. I hardly saw much of my mum's parents as I was growing up, maybe once a year, sometimes once every two years.

Two of my cousins live overseas. One in America, as her hubby is American, and they live on the otherside of America. The other in Canada, same story, he married a Canadian woman, her parents ages away.

Distance really means nothing to God. Parents on the other hand... perhaps that's why Christ said what he said and not "when you get married to a woman, move with her into your parents' basement. Alternatively, you can live in one of those granny flat sleep outs attached to the shed, but make sure to get a set of keys to the house so you can use their toilet".

Apr 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Jeff-406043 said: Every now and then, my Mom will ask me if I've had any luck on Catholic Match. Usually, if I m...
(Quote) Jeff-406043 said:

Every now and then, my Mom will ask me if I've had any luck on Catholic Match. Usually, if I meet someone and it has progressed beyond the initial communication stage, I will mention her to my Mom. For whatever reason, the majority of women that I have connected with on here live in a different state than I do. Some of them even live in a different country. Usually I will begin describing the woman and then my Mom will ask the inevitable question: "And where does she live?" Now, I love both of my parents very much and my Dad asks me as well although my Mom is more inquisitive than he is. So, whenever I respond by saying that she lives in a different state, it is often greeted with a soft, audible sigh or a nonchalant "Uh huh, uh huh". And I know that she's not really crazy about this, but as I've said to them many times, "I love you, but this is my life".

Yes, it would be more ideal for me to meet someone in the same city or state which would take us 30 minutes or less to meet up somewhere. And, don't even get me started with the friends, acquaintances, etc. that want to lecture you on why you should meet someone at a local bar or club instead. I usually get this from older people who are disdainful of the Internet and think that every potential person you could meet online is a psychopath. LOL With all due respect, finding a future spouse at a bar or club today is like expecting to find love at the Playboy Mansion. I'm not saying that it's impossible, but most people don't go to the Playboy Mansion to find true love anymore than they do expecting to find peace and quiet in New York City.

Maybe it's the idealist or the romantic in me that believes that pretty much anything is possible and is willing to literally and figuratively "go the extra mile". I just would hate having to think that I gave up on potentially meeting my future wife because I let something like geography and distance get in the way. The reality is that we are in a different century now and times have changed. Most people don't just meet up at the bars and clubs anymore. And, with a few exceptions, most people that go to those places are younger and they are usually looking to "hook up" with someone for a fling. Even a lot of the younger people now have taken to the Internet to find a long-term relationship. And I realize that times are tough in this current economy and not everyone can afford to just pay money on plane tickets and jet-set across the country or the world. But I also believe that if you save your money and not spend it foolishly and both of you can work around each other's calendars, that a meeting is not only possible but probable.

So, don't pay attention to the naysayers and doom-and-gloomers who frequently will show up with the Greek chorus that says "You're wasting your tiiiime!" Any time spent pursuing a dream is never wasted. Sitting on your butt doing nothing and moaning and groaning about how you'll never find anyone or happiness is wasting time. Having faith in Christ, God, the Holy Spirit and yourself is more than enough to carry you throughout the day even in the midst of the naysayers and doom-and-gloomers. Don't you just love it when some people will ask you why you aren't married yet, but then they will start arguing with their significant other and then tell you "Don't ever get married." LOL That doesn't have to be you. Moreover, it won't be you if you take the time to find the right person for you unlike most of them who settled and did what everyone else was doing because "that's what everyone does". Follow your heart. Follow your soul. It's a lesson I've had to learn many times over because I've sabotaged potentially wonderful long-distance relationships in the past, too. I won't again. Never. And neither should you.

--hide--


Well said, many can learn from this kind of advice, as limiting your options to whatever is close by, is essentially shooting yourself in the foot, unless of course you simply can't afford the costs associated with a long distance relationship or are too busy to have the time for one. I initially used a search that was only people within about a 2 hour radius, but when I broadened it to essentailly include anywhere in the US, my options increased significantly, and I've gotten to know some wonderful people on this site as a result.

Apr 1st 2013 new

Hi everybody,

Very well explained Jeff thanks for the info and motivation!!!!!!


wave

Apr 1st 2013 new

Way to go. Jeff! Well said. :)

Apr 1st 2013 new
I don't know about your state but oregon is starting a catholic singles group
Apr 1st 2013 new

highfive clap Bow

Apr 2nd 2013 new

I just recently joined this site, and I really like it. I completely understand what you mean about people living so far away. This one guy I recently started chatting with lives ALLLLL the way in California near the coast and I'm in Tennessee. It's a 2 hour time difference and around 2500 miles apart. Completely understand.

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