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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Apr 1st 2013 new

Go MEET MARKETS Go - gotta meet somewhere...even if just sitting talking at a table next to the dance floor.

Apr 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Bob-59786 said: Go MEET MARKETS Go - gotta meet somewhere...even if just sitting talking at a table next to the danc...
(Quote) Bob-59786 said:

Go MEET MARKETS Go - gotta meet somewhere...even if just sitting talking at a table next to the dance floor.

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Bob, what is the sound level at the dances you attend? The last singles dance I went to, once the music began, talk couldn't be heard even if you were sitting next to each other. I don't like to be in places that are LOUD (e.g. race tracks, etc.), so I would prefer a quieter setting in which to meet people. shhh

Apr 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Carol-737878 said: Bob, what is the sound level at the dances you attend? The last singles dance I went...
(Quote) Carol-737878 said:


Bob, what is the sound level at the dances you attend? The last singles dance I went to, once the music began, talk couldn't be heard even if you were sitting next to each other. I don't like to be in places that are LOUD (e.g. race tracks, etc.), so I would prefer a quieter setting in which to meet people.

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Carol - the sound level at the Cincinnati Immaculate Heart of Mary Parish Hall allows for conversation while dancing.

There are 25 large round tables sitting at least 9. Their appetizer area is quiet and a great place to talk w/ others. That's where I asked a woman if her cute black "boots were made for walking". I hope to see her at the April 13th Dance, as well as others I spoke/ danced with on March 9th.

Apr 1st 2013 new

Even though I can relate to the feeling awkward and shy moments at dances thru the years, and I too am taller than most of the guys and thus felt self concious and shy-----I have loved going to singles dances anyway!! For years and years---loved them.
Last July I did something totally different and found out about a huge swing dance club so VERY close to my home and started taking lessons there every Tuesday now! By myself!! This is not a catholic group and it is not a single's group (something very different for me to join). I have grown to love learning to swing dance!! It was a little awkward dancing with strangers at first---but I am sure learning great things from this. I am getting more comfortable dancing with different men----and I just love how the man is supposed to be the leader on the dance floor and the woman is to follow. This teaches the men to be better leaders and to be kind and patient and gentle---yet give a strong lead and I just love that!! Learning to follow different men's leads is harder for me than I thought it would be---but a good skill to learn. And once you get over the awkwardness----it really is nice to learn to be comfortable with the respectful, safe touches that occur in dancing. I am not the best dancer, but I am slowly learning. It is fun to dance with the guys who have been dancing for years. Everyone is encouraged to dance with different people---though couples don't have to if they don't want to. There are many single people there and married people as well. It's a huge very successful group----after the lesson they have a dance and you can practice.. HUNDREDS of people are there every Tuesday. When I was younger I wouldn't go to something like this because a lot of the people are older than me... Now that I have gotten older---I am finding it fun to be one of the younger ones there!! LOL! Actually there are younger ones too---but mostly older than me.. It is so fun!! I have actually met several guys to go out with there----which was nice for a change!! Nothing worked out---but it was still fun trying. The hard part is that most don't share my Catholic faith and many many don't have the same morals (have to be on guard sometimes there)----but gosh, I am really enjoying dancing and meeting people! There are some really nice men there too.. The more you go--the easier and more fun it gets to dance..... If I can learn a little---the rest of you can too. (I'm not a good dancer really!!! ) I encourage some of you to give it a try!! Fun way to get exercise too...

Apr 1st 2013 new

By the way---I got to know a really great guy there who is also on Catholic Match!! He and I are just friends ----but I set him up with a friend of mine!!

Apr 1st 2013 new

(Quote) Dawn-58330 said: I have never been comfortable with meeting new people at dances (or for that matter, with people I've ...
(Quote) Dawn-58330 said: I have never been comfortable with meeting new people at dances (or for that matter, with people I've known for eons). I suppose you could say I have a phobia for dancing. I have no sense of rhythm and can't seem to relax physically enough to let go on a dance floor. I've always been this way-- never learned how to dance (Never did that sleepover activity of spinning a few 45s and trying out moves with teen girlfriends), have some really bad memories of dances from high school (fist fights, bullying, etc) and I am just very self conscious. Also, when I meet new people I want to talk with them, not engage in some kind of physical activity. Dances rarely have an environment conducive to conversation. The music is too loud and I find myself fumbling with a drink or pulling on the hem of my sweater, etc.

This is NOT to say I am shy or dull. At one time I thought I was, but when I learned I do make mistakes, I realized that I was wrong about that. I am actually very outgoing (ask anyone who knows, has met me, from the forums) and I have acquired some skills at being entertaining. (Evidently some people find me bubbly, funny, smart, and entertaining. I can even be a gracious hostess.)

So why do people think that single adults want to meet at a dance? Aren't their better social environments than reliving our teen years? YUCK!

Your thoughts?

(And if you are going to try to convince me that I should embrace dancing--- along the lines of "I Hope You Dance"--- then remember that this ballerina princess is a cracked dream; please be gentle.)
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Single adults go to a dance to have fun and socialize. For someone like me, I don't have much contact with single women and don't have family in the area, its nice to dance with different women to be social.

It sounds like you need to take dance lessons. When I lived in Cincinnati, which is close to the area that you are living, I took lessons at Authur Murray when I was in my 20's after I first moved there from NE Ohio. I never went to dances in high school or college and was very self conscious about dancing until I knew what I was doing.

Apr 1st 2013 new
(Quote) Dawn-58330 said: I have never been comfortable with meeting new people at dances (or for that matter, with people I've known for ...
(Quote) Dawn-58330 said: I have never been comfortable with meeting new people at dances (or for that matter, with people I've known for eons). I suppose you could say I have a phobia for dancing. I have no sense of rhythm and can't seem to relax physically enough to let go on a dance floor. I've always been this way-- never learned how to dance (Never did that sleepover activity of spinning a few 45s and trying out moves with teen girlfriends), have some really bad memories of dances from high school (fist fights, bullying, etc) and I am just very self conscious. Also, when I meet new people I want to talk with them, not engage in some kind of physical activity. Dances rarely have an environment conducive to conversation. The music is too loud and I find myself fumbling with a drink or pulling on the hem of my sweater, etc.



This is NOT to say I am shy or dull. At one time I thought I was, but when I learned I do make mistakes, I realized that I was wrong about that. I am actually very outgoing (ask anyone who knows, has met me, from the forums) and I have acquired some skills at being entertaining. (Evidently some people find me bubbly, funny, smart, and entertaining. I can even be a gracious hostess.)



So why do people think that single adults want to meet at a dance? Aren't their better social environments than reliving our teen years? YUCK!



Your thoughts?



(And if you are going to try to convince me that I should embrace dancing--- along the lines of "I Hope You Dance"--- then remember that this ballerina princess is a cracked dream; please be gentle.)
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Dawn,

For whatever it's worth, these are my thoughts...and this comes from someone who can dance and has spent years doing so in the context of a sport/art/hobby. If this isn't for you, either because you have absolutely no interest or you have taken adequate lessons only to experience an inability to hone these skills, I wouldn't give it another moment's thought. The fact that you can't dance is meaningless.

I'd like to distinguish dancing as a sport/art/hobby vs. in the context of singles events, though. While I've spent years on the dance floor in the context of a hobby, you wouldn't find me at a "dance" for the stated purpose you described. It would make me cringe to have random strange men coming up and intruding upon my personal space as the means to "meet women". I second your YUCK. The objective is very different when you are dancing with other dancers.

And I completely agree with you that an environment with loud music is not conducive to communication and establishing new friendships.
Apr 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Dawn-58330 said: So why do people think that single adults want to meet at a dance? Aren't their bette...
(Quote) Dawn-58330 said:

[...]
So why do people think that single adults want to meet at a dance? Aren't their better social environments than reliving our teen years? YUCK!

Your thoughts?

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I agree YUCK! My late-wife hug wanted to take dancing lessons so that we could do a well rehersed dance at our wedding, weeping sorry instead of just "faking" it with all of our guests watching. I asked her if she knew what she was really asking for, and if she had really thought this thu! scratchchin Of course the answer was "Yes", and I was told how important it was that we try and look good on our big night.


So for her birthday before we got married I gave her a B'day card that said for your "This year I'm giving you pleasure and pain. So lets start with the pain, the dancing lessons you've wanted. To make up for that I've also reserved a helicopter tour for our honeymoon in the hopes you'll forgive me for the first".


As it turns out, we were practicing days before the wedding, she was wearing open-toed shoes (her wedding sandals) and I was wearing a pear of dress shoes. I ended up stepping on her toes, she was bleeding!! Yes she still married me, yes she still forgave me, and yes we still managed to do the dance, but she packed a bag of salt to help the swelling on our honeymoon!!


Thank goodness I bought her the helicopter ride as well otherwise that would have been an awful B'day gift!!

Guess I won't be getting any dance invites anytime soon now ... laughing laughing

Apr 3rd 2013 new

(Quote) Jennifer-655204 said: My friends say my dancing reminds them of the gopher on Caddyshack.
(Quote) Jennifer-655204 said:

My friends say my dancing reminds them of the gopher on Caddyshack.


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Jennifer, I believe my Dad said cow on crutches for me; so I can certainly relate to gopher on Caddyshack!!

Apr 3rd 2013 new

Hi Dawn-

I agree with Mary. I dance all the time, and I don't do it to meet that my future spouse. I do it for fun. Most of us are friends and we do non- dance stuff too, and relationships happen kind of the same way they might happen in a volleyball league. I've met several hundred women dancing and I've dated three.

But I do hope you learn- for me it took finding the right studio but I am sooooo happy. Their isn't a more enjoyable activity that I can think of. The majority of recreational dancers are usually very welcoming (although last night I was at a new place and they weren't - it happens). Everyone starts off with two left feet. You just need the right teaching and practice...

Still not your cup of tea? I'm part of a young adult eucharistic community. We've had 15 some marriages from it since '05 aand a ton of wonderful friendships. I also throw a parties called brunch & jam, where we cook together as a group, eat together then do praise & worship. Never underestimate the power of crepes to bring folks together!

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