I don't think anyone's spiritual journey is identical or "in the same place" as someone else's. Even within the context of marriage, there will always be a difference between the spouses.
For me, I desire above all else a Catholic spouse in full agreement with the Magistrium. I don't care about the nonsense vain concepts of appearance or stupid empty materilaistic leanings, I care about is my future spouse a strong Catholic? He can be a poor grubby garbage collector who has a face that looks like he was beaten with a sack full of hammers covered in dog poo and I would still desire him as spouse if he was a man of God, a good solid Catholic.
Even in Catholicism we have been invaded by petty notions of beauty and materalism.
As for equality in the faith journey, with no arrogance, I've met very few men, if any, that come close to where I am with the Lord. Not to mention, I think there will seldom be equality of pace, as the man is supposed to be the spiritual head of the household. If he's doing his job right, living his vocation correctly, he will be slightly ahead.
I for one am not seeking some wishy washy cafeteria cathoic who views his walk with the Lord in some easy going, OSAS protestant context. I"m not here to be a missionary. But there are plenty of men and women out there who are ahead of me on the spiritual journey with God. I need one such man who can guide my spiritual shenangians as much as he will be involved with them.
Kinda like a school teacher, the teacher wont' be on the same level as a pack of 7 year olds at colouring-in-time but they can be involved in the process with guiding, suggesting and most importantly, the enjoyment that comes from it.