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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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After taking a break from the dating world for about a year, I have come back with renewed energy and a new perspective. I hope I can say honestly that I have a better understanding of what really matters in a partner, and I definitely feel like faith is critical. I have had little success in the past with other dating sites, and so I hope my faith can lead me to meet a great Catholic woman.

But still, I feel like I come across too strong too early, have little to talk about (I really have simple tastes) and I can never tell what I should say if or how to continue a conversation (or even WHEN or HOW to continue a courtship through the internet). I feel much more natural in person.....but sometimes you just end up talking to people far away.

Can you guys give me some rules of thumb for this? Is one message a day a good starting point? Should I be the driving force in going from messages to chatting to phone calls? All help is appreciated!

Apr 10th 2013 new

Just be direct, honest and respectful. You will do great. When a lady says she is not interested just let her be. Use humor and have fun. READ her profile ask about her. Always Be prepared to talk about you. Be prepared to use conversation SKILLS. Skills to keep the conversation going which means ask about her too. Tell her about you ask about hjer mix it up and have fun. Start light, discussing light interests. Comment on what she says and show interest in listening or reading. Soon you will be sailing along with this. surfing

Apr 10th 2013 new

You are handsome. Just relax too. Just write and aks how her day went and just see how the conversation goes.

Apr 10th 2013 new

(Quote) Jeffrey-959751 said: After taking a break from the dating world for about a year, I have come back with...
(Quote) Jeffrey-959751 said:


After taking a break from the dating world for about a year, I have come back with renewed energy and a new perspective. I hope I can say honestly that I have a better understanding of what really matters in a partner, and I definitely feel like faith is critical. I have had little success in the past with other dating sites, and so I hope my faith can lead me to meet a great Catholic woman.

But still, I feel like I come across too strong too early, have little to talk about (I really have simple tastes) and I can never tell what I should say if or how to continue a conversation (or even WHEN or HOW to continue a courtship through the internet). I feel much more natural in person.....but sometimes you just end up talking to people far away.

Can you guys give me some rules of thumb for this? Is one message a day a good starting point? Should I be the driving force in going from messages to chatting to phone calls? All help is appreciated!

--hide--


Talk about your hobbies, pets, memories, vacations, books, work, interests, movies, the news... It is easier on the lady if you drive it along, usually, yes... Write one or two comments and se if she wants to correspond with you then see how it goes then go from there.

Apr 10th 2013 new

(Quote) Jeffrey-959751 said: "Can you guys give me some rules of thumb for this?"
(Quote) Jeffrey-959751 said: "Can you guys give me some rules of thumb for this?"
--hide--

As for messaging etiquette, ALWAYS reply to someone's emotigram or message. It only takes 6 keystrokes to spell "Thanks". Not replying is rude and dismissive. I actually will respect a person more if they reply back telling me to "BUZZ OFF" rather than someone who doesn't reply at all.

Apr 10th 2013 new

Don't forget to talk about HER hobbies, pets, memories, vacations, books, etc.!

IMHO, the more messages, the better.

Apr 10th 2013 new

Talk to women about them, becuase it proves your interest and that you have read their profiles.

Not sure what you mean that you have simple tastes and therefore "have little to talk about." In a world where communication is key, you are going to ahve to find some things to talk about!

Yes, one message a day is fine, unless she is answering so quickly and enthusiastically that she is indicating real interest. Then have fun with it, subject to the time you have for it. You can get into all kinds of cute emote exchanges here.

Yes, you should be the driving force to take things from messages, to maybe IM chatting, to the phone, to skype, to suggesting a get together, to setting up that date, to following up for another afterwards.

Yes. That is your God given role.

Good luck Jeffrey and welcome to the forums!

Apr 10th 2013 new
(Quote) Pat-5351 said: Talk to women about them, becuase it proves your interest and that you have read their profiles. No...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

Talk to women about them, becuase it proves your interest and that you have read their profiles.



Not sure what you mean that you have simple tastes and therefore "have little to talk about." In a world where communication is key, you are going to ahve to find some things to talk about!



Yes, one message a day is fine, unless she is answering so quickly and enthusiastically that she is indicating real interest. Then have fun with it, subject to the time you have for it. You can get into all kinds of cute emote exchanges here.



Yes, you should be the driving force to take things from messages, to maybe IM chatting, to the phone, to skype, to suggesting a get together, to setting up that date, to following up for another afterwards.



Yes. That is your God given role.



Good luck Jeffrey and welcome to the forums!

--hide--


Also have a detailed profile in what you're looking for and also what you're NOT looking for. This will almost completely tell you if she's compatible with you and vice versa. Then you can exchange an email or two and then move to a coffee meet or something to get things really moving.
Apr 10th 2013 new
(Quote) Jeffrey-959751 said: After taking a break from the dating world for about a year, I have come back with renewe...
(Quote) Jeffrey-959751 said:




After taking a break from the dating world for about a year, I have come back with renewed energy and a new perspective. I hope I can say honestly that I have a better understanding of what really matters in a partner, and I definitely feel like faith is critical. I have had little success in the past with other dating sites, and so I hope my faith can lead me to meet a great Catholic woman.



But still, I feel like I come across too strong too early, have little to talk about (I really have simple tastes) and I can never tell what I should say if or how to continue a conversation (or even WHEN or HOW to continue a courtship through the internet). I feel much more natural in person.....but sometimes you just end up talking to people far away.



Can you guys give me some rules of thumb for this? Is one message a day a good starting point? Should I be the driving force in going from messages to chatting to phone calls? All help is appreciated!

--hide--


Oh and the easiest way for me is to just get right to talking on the phone or even texting after a few initial emails. Actually texting is a nice easy non pressure way to communicate before meeting and even thereafter obviously. I think texting is great. I've had many women tell me that they prefer to text because it's simple, no awkward pauses and it doesn't waste minutes.
Apr 10th 2013 new

I agree. Not responding to emotigrams and messages is rude and very disconcerting for the sender. This topic captures my interest because I've encountered this "no reponse" and "dropped response" behavior. I suppose everyone who uses online dating services has encountered this but the rudeness never ceases to boggle my mind, particularly when it comes from someone who previously interacted with you regularly. Even if the recipient of the message or emotigram is not particularly into you, fellowship has its own rewards. I, too, would rather hear "we're not a good match" or "we don't have much in common" or something to that effect.

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