Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free

info: Please Sign Up or Sign In to continue.

A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

What would you do If?

04/11/2013 new

Hello Everybody: Ok What wpuld you do If? Lets say your in a Nice (beautiful) Relationship (oh say 6 months or more) And everything is goin just Dandy; (everything is clicking) Then all of a sudden! Lets say he has a Dog (lovess the Dog) and she does too; oh yeah his kids are all grown; But its just him and the Dog; And durin a conversation she says (to him) you know "i love your dog" But however i'am not quite comfortable with the dog; (around) so he say's what are you saying? She say's to him "its either ME or the DOG"? What would you do; Ok my answer would be to her is: Ok Let me think about this; let me sleep on it and we will talk about it tomorrow; then the next day; She asks the same question? Well what did you decide? its either ME or the DOG? I would say you know what? (sorry) But i choose the dog! So how aboutit? What would you do/ choose? (think about it)!! Mike "Peace"!! wave

04/11/2013 new
I don't have a dog or a cat-- never have. I'm really open to a dog. A little less open to a cat. (I think I have a slight allergy to them, and I am definitely more of a dog person.) So I don't think this question would come up with me. I would feel a need to have him choose me or him.

I get that pets are very important to people, that they are like family. In one way I can see why a man or woman can become that attached to an animal. On the other hand, I find it off putting that someone would choose a pet over a person. Pets are lovely, but they are not made in God's image. Now, in most circumstances the person demanding the choice is being selfish, but not always. Some people are deathly allergic to pets; they can't be around them.

I take more issue with the fact that evidently the person who said they "loved" my dog, really didn't. They lead me on over months believing that my pet wasn't an issue. That's unfair. They shouldn't have kept that to themselves letting me thinking everything was going to work. That's what would kill the relationship-- a form of dishonesty.
04/11/2013 new

If I loved the person, the dog would be gone.

If I was not so sure about the person, I would break up with the person.

If course, I don't have a dog and probably never will.

Is she allergic, had a bad experience with dogs, or just is a mean person?

If it is the first two, if you love the person, you would forego the pet.

People over animals. That is my rule.

04/11/2013 new
(Quote) Mike-646924 said: Hello Everybody: Ok What wpuld you do If? Lets say your in a Nice (beautiful) Relationship (oh say...
(Quote) Mike-646924 said:

Hello Everybody: Ok What wpuld you do If? Lets say your in a Nice (beautiful) Relationship (oh say 6 months or more) And everything is goin just Dandy; (everything is clicking) Then all of a sudden! Lets say he has a Dog (lovess the Dog) and she does too; oh yeah his kids are all grown; But its just him and the Dog; And durin a conversation she says (to him) you know "i love your dog" But however i'am not quite comfortable with the dog; (around) so he say's what are you saying? She say's to him "its either ME or the DOG"? What would you do; Ok my answer would be to her is: Ok Let me think about this; let me sleep on it and we will talk about it tomorrow; then the next day; She asks the same question? Well what did you decide? its either ME or the DOG? I would say you know what? (sorry) But i choose the dog! So how aboutit? What would you do/ choose? (think about it)!! Mike "Peace"!!

--hide--


HI Mike,

I have a dog too. Well here, let me put it like this. If she knew you had the dog when she met you then she's totally ridiculous and kick her right to the curb. I mean, what's the deal with that?!!!!!
04/11/2013 new

My dog has been with me for almost 12 years, and some guy asks me to give him up?! He obviously doesn't care about me and my feelings if he asks me to choose, so it is an easy decision! Bye-bye, boyfriend!

04/11/2013 new
(Quote) Pat-5351 said: If I loved the person, the dog would be gone. If I was not so sure about the person, I would break ...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

If I loved the person, the dog would be gone.



If I was not so sure about the person, I would break up with the person.



If course, I don't have a dog and probably never will.



Is she allergic, had a bad experience with dogs, or just is a mean person?



If it is the first two, if you love the person, you would forego the pet.



People over animals. That is my rule.

--hide--


Pat,

She shouldn't have dated him to begin with. She should've thought about that before they started dating UNLESS she's developed some sort of pet allergy as of recent that's coincidental. But I'm not reading that in Mike's post.
04/11/2013 new
Mike, you made the right decision to get rid of her. She's selfish, deceitful ( if she was never ok with the dog to begin with ) and not worth one more second of your time. At least you have respect for yourself to dump her. Actually, you should send her a bill for all the dinners etc. that you paid for.
04/11/2013 new

1) Anyone that asks you to remove a member of your family would be someone that I believe does not have my best interests in mind. Granted dogs aren't people and people should ultimately take priority, but asking me to dispose of a family member...I "ain't got time for that". It would be different if you were already in a relationship without a pet and you want to get one, but she doesn't. Then I would be more considerate of their request.


2) I like my dog better than I like most people. Mine has been with me for 11 years and would protect me with his life. That's more than I can say for most people I know.


3) Is she expecting you to take the dog out back and shoot it? That's essentially what happens when you drop it off at a shelter. As much as people would like to think that someone comes along and readopts your drop-off, they don't. If it's a kill shelter, you pet is doomed for execution in most cases. Maybe you would have a better option for re-homing, but either way it's traumatic for the dog.


4) You don't say specifically but if your lady friend has been around for 6 months and this hasn't come up before, there is probably not a pet allergy. You have to ask yourself, and obviously you have, why is she asking you to do this? If this is some type of test, why does she need to play silly games? What else would she ask you to compromise on later?


Just my two cents. I'll come down off my soapbox now.

04/11/2013 new

[quote]Pat-5351 said:

If I loved the person, the dog would be gone.

If I was not so sure about the person, I would break up with the person.

If course, I don't have a dog and probably never will.

Is she allergic, had a bad experience with dogs, or just is a mean person?

If it is the first two, if you love the person, you would forego the pet.

People over animals. That is my rule.

[/quote: I'm guessing that the responses will vary depending upon a person's having had a pet before, or had none. The perspective is much different; both views deserve consideration.

Your organized thoughts about the situation sum up the choices pretty well.

Because Mike's dog has now gained the status of "family member", I think it would be difficult for him to make an overnight decision. First of all, there may be ways to keep the dog in the family -- either a relative or friend. But first, I would explore the reason for this lady not wanting the dog around. You mentioned possibilities above.

If allergies are a problem, there's little question about having an animal in the same home. A bad experience? Even many pet-lovers have had bad experiences with animals but manage to overlook the offenses (unless they are repeated). A mean person? Best to find out now.

At this point, Mike and his lady friend are not committed to each other, and he didn't mention any marriage plans. For that reason, it would seem premature to part with a devoted companion. If the relationship doesn't develop into something permanent, he has lost both the woman and his pet.

Another option is to ask this woman to try to adapt, little by little, to having the dog around. This process actually works in a lot of cases.

A thought occured that she might be demanding. What is the urgency? Why must a decision be made overnight? Given the circumstances, her "demand" seems unreasonable. Mike should be given time to consider possible options or some type of compromise. And the lady, in fairness to Mike, should offer the same consideration. This won't be the only point of disagreement they encounter. How will others be handled?

04/11/2013 new
(Quote) Ray-566531 said: (Quote) Pat-5351 said: If I loved the person, the dog would be gone. <...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

[quote]Pat-5351 said:



If I loved the person, the dog would be gone.



If I was not so sure about the person, I would break up with the person.



If course, I don't have a dog and probably never will.



Is she allergic, had a bad experience with dogs, or just is a mean person?



If it is the first two, if you love the person, you would forego the pet.



People over animals. That is my rule.



[/quote: I'm guessing that the responses will vary depending upon a person's having had a pet before, or had none. The perspective is much different; both views deserve consideration.



Your organized thoughts about the situation sum up the choices pretty well.



Because Mike's dog has now gained the status of "family member", I think it would be difficult for him to make an overnight decision. First of all, there may be ways to keep the dog in the family -- either a relative or friend. But first, I would explore the reason for this lady not wanting the dog around. You mentioned possibilities above.



If allergies are a problem, there's little question about having an animal in the same home. A bad experience? Even many pet-lovers have had bad experiences with animals but manage to overlook the offenses (unless they are repeated). A mean person? Best to find out now.



At this point, Mike and his lady friend are not committed to each other, and he didn't mention any marriage plans. For that reason, it would seem premature to part with a devoted companion. If the relationship doesn't develop into something permanent, he has lost both the woman and his pet.



Another option is to ask this woman to try to adapt, little by little, to having the dog around. This process actually works in a lot of cases.



A thought occured that she might be demanding. What is the urgency? Why must a decision be made overnight? Given the circumstances, her "demand" seems unreasonable. Mike should be given time to consider possible options or some type of compromise. And the lady, in fairness to Mike, should offer the same consideration. This won't be the only point of disagreement they encounter. How will others be handled?

--hide--


Ray, the woman's a total "you know what". Lol.
Posts 1 - 10 of 166