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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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If it occur to you that it would be a good idea to describe how much interest in you a man should already have before asking you out, what would you write?

As an example, some women might include a remark such as, "If you're 'just curious about me', don't bother to ask me out because I don't want any of that 'freak show' kind of attention!" eyebrow

I wrote this in a way that addressed woman, but for men who want to reply, assume the same question with the gender words reversed.

John

Apr 13th 2013 new

John, men express so very little interest at all on here, you can be assured that women are not throwing in more preconditions to dating.

If a man is even talking to you, that is interest expression enough to think that he likes you enough to go out.

If a man said

"I think we have alot in common, would you like to go out?"

Or some other expression of interest, that is all fine.

The asking for the date is what is unusual, hard to get and to us, the expression of "interest" in us.

Apr 13th 2013 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: If it occur to you that it would be a good idea to describe how much interest in you a man should ...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

If it occur to you that it would be a good idea to describe how much interest in you a man should already have before asking you out, what would you write?

As an example, some women might include a remark such as, "If you're 'just curious about me', don't bother to ask me out because I don't want any of that 'freak show' kind of attention!"

I wrote this in a way that addressed woman, but for men who want to reply, assume the same question with the gender words reversed.

John

--hide--


Hi John! I would hope that a man has at least read my profile and can make a positive comment on something that I wrote in there. Chelle

Apr 13th 2013 new

Depending on the amount of effort needed to have the date (long distance travel, special clothing or equipment needed like for skating or opera or something extra different from every day), it could be as little as a few back-and-forth messages, a phone call or so, and a meeting of the minds, acknowledging beforehand that both are of similar mind on appropriate activities.

Apr 13th 2013 new

He doesn't have to be "interested" at all (at least, not romantically). If he thinks being with me is worth his time, I'm liable to think being with him is worth my time, too. Why would I say no?

Apr 13th 2013 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: As an example, some women might include a remark such as, "If you're 'just curious ab...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

As an example, some women might include a remark such as, "If you're 'just curious about me', don't bother to ask me out because I don't want any of that 'freak show' kind of attention!"

--hide--

If those women don't want that sort of attention, they can send their dates my way. It is only a freak show if you make it into one. The aspect of curiosity does not bother me, but then again, I love to get to know people, especially in a one on one conversation. At the end of the day, if there is no "click", I can't say that my time was wasted.

Apr 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Pat-5351 said: John, men express so very little interest at all on here, you can be assured that women are not throw...
(Quote) Pat-5351 said:

John, men express so very little interest at all on here, you can be assured that women are not throwing in more preconditions to dating.

If a man is even talking to you, that is interest expression enough to think that he likes you enough to go out.

If a man said

"I think we have alot in common, would you like to go out?"

Or some other expression of interest, that is all fine.

The asking for the date is what is unusual, hard to get and to us, the expression of "interest" in us.

--hide--
Hi Pat,

Thanks for your thoughts.

In the past I wrote a topic, Substitutes For Parties (www.catholicmatch.com with an aim quite similar to the goal of this one.

The advantages that parties and singles dances have over online contact had occurred to me. One of the main advantages was that in a short period of time it is possible to meet a lot of people to give and to receive a quick face-to-face impression. Reacting to this thought, I wrote a topic asking women how they would react to a man who said that, in lieu of frequent parties and other gatherings, he'd like individually to meet a lot of CM women in his area for the same kind of quick-impression experience that would be possible if Catholic Match's members produced a lot more get-togethers. This approach would include little or no individual and personal show of pre-interest on the part of the man.

As I recall, the responses to that previous topic, while not flattly negative, did not include anything like, "I hope that some men advertise that they'd like a lot of such party-substitute encounters because it'd be a lot better than the current doldrums".

I wondered whether one of the reasons for the tepidity of the replies might be that there was not enough show of preliminary, personal, individualized interest on the part of men - and so I wrote this topic to find out.

Your answer suggests that you might react positively to some party-substitute requests to meet you briefly. My impression from the replies to that prior topic was that most women felt differently from you.

John

Apr 13th 2013 new

With me I feel that it has to go both ways fffor me annd the man. We both must be interested and if we are not then we are wasting our time. I don't want to waste time that I don't have so only dating where the interest is both ways. I don't intend to play with hearts and I don't want my heart played with either.

Apr 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Chelle-924354 said:Hi John! I would hope that a man has at least read my profile and can make a positive comment on...
(Quote) Chelle-924354 said:

Hi John! I would hope that a man has at least read my profile and can make a positive comment on something that I wrote in there. Chelle

--hide--
Hi Chelle,

Thanks for answering.

Your requests are not asking for much in the form of pre-interest (if that's a word), but it's still a lot more than my method of selecting women by using a random-number generator offers. laughing

John

Apr 13th 2013 new

(Quote) Rachel-731570 said: Depending on the amount of effort needed to have the date (long distance travel, special clothin...
(Quote) Rachel-731570 said:

Depending on the amount of effort needed to have the date (long distance travel, special clothing or equipment needed like for skating or opera or something extra different from every day), it could be as little as a few back-and-forth messages, a phone call or so, and a meeting of the minds, acknowledging beforehand that both are of similar mind on appropriate activities.

--hide--
Hi Rachel,

Thanks for taking the time to offer an opinion.

I can see how the circumstances of the date that you mention make a difference. You also don't seem to require long semesters of preparation and exams before exchanging a few words face-to-face.

John

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