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Apr 20th 2013 new
Right which is why I could just say "hello". My goal isn't getting people to sign up, it's to have conversations and not waste too much of my time chasing ghosts. I get that they will see that I sent a message, but if I know the probability that they will read it is higher, then I will take longer to write a more thoughtful one. Anyways, thanks everyone for chiming in and good luck on the site.
Apr 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Katie-940643 said: Rachel, with all due respect, I disagree with you. From my experience, the same 30ish people post...
(Quote) Katie-940643 said:

Rachel, with all due respect, I disagree with you. From my experience, the same 30ish people post all over the forums and not many others. I have to believe there are more than 30 or so registered members here. Maybe that's just the random posts I read.

The best advise I can give is in the first section of someone's profile it says when that person was active last. It might say something like "active this week" or "active over three weeks ago". If the person isn't recently active chances are they won't respond. I have found no good way to tell if someone is registered or not. Also, they may be registered and simply choose not to respond to your message.

Chris and Andy, best of luck in your search.

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You are correct..The actual number of forum posters is a tiny fraction of the total number paid members on CM.. My current gentleman friend is a paid member and has no interest whatsoever in the forums.

Apr 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Christopher-546242 said: Thank you so much for the tip on "active in the last", that is the best answer to...
(Quote) Christopher-546242 said:

Thank you so much for the tip on "active in the last", that is the best answer to this problem.

While I respect the idea that, from a marketing perspective, people who are active on this site can bring in the people who created a profile but haven't paid yet, I was just hoping for some method to distinguish between the two groups.

If I know someone is an active member, then I'm going to take some time to write them a more detailed hello that shows I read their profile and am truly intersted in getting to know them. If they are not, a simple "hello" or generic "Chris has reviewed your profile" would suffice. I was not implying that I would ignore or consider talking to the inactive people a waste of time. I'd just rather talk in shorter sentences to them ;)

See my point?

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Would it make you feel better to know that they read your message and don't write back because they aren't interested? I look at it from the point of view that if I send a message I assume they are not paid, or they aren't interested..That way I'm not disappointed if there is no reply.. If there is a reply then I am very pleasantly surprized and can move forward from there.. You should always assume that you will get a reply from maybe 1 out of 10 messages you send out. (That's about average across the board I think.)

Apr 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: (Quote) Christopher-546242 said: Thank you so much for the tip on "act...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

Quote:
Christopher-546242 said:

Thank you so much for the tip on "active in the last", that is the best answer to this problem.

While I respect the idea that, from a marketing perspective, people who are active on this site can bring in the people who created a profile but haven't paid yet, I was just hoping for some method to distinguish between the two groups.

If I know someone is an active member, then I'm going to take some time to write them a more detailed hello that shows I read their profile and am truly intersted in getting to know them. If they are not, a simple "hello" or generic "Chris has reviewed your profile" would suffice. I was not implying that I would ignore or consider talking to the inactive people a waste of time. I'd just rather talk in shorter sentences to them ;)

See my point?



Would it make you feel better to know that they read your message and don't write back because they aren't interested? I look at it from the point of view that if I send a message I assume they are not paid, or they aren't interested..That way I'm not disappointed if there is no reply.. If there is a reply then I am very pleasantly surprized and can move forward from there.. You should always assume that you will get a reply from maybe 1 out of 10 messages you send out. (That's about average across the board I think.)

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Donna, my averages are a tad better than yours or those across the board. I feel this way - if a person can take their time to send an emote or message, then this Texan can reply in kind. I think it is called professional courtesy. I guess it may be difficult though if someone received 15 or 20 emotes/messages a week to respond in a timely manner but it is still doable. Of course, yours truly has never or would ever have that problem.

Blessings always, Praying hug rose

Leon

Apr 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Leon-593843 said: Donna, my averages are a tad better than yours or those across the board. I feel this way ...
(Quote) Leon-593843 said:



Donna, my averages are a tad better than yours or those across the board. I feel this way - if a person can take their time to send an emote or message, then this Texan can reply in kind. I think it is called professional courtesy. I guess it may be difficult though if someone received 15 or 20 emotes/messages a week to respond in a timely manner but it is still doable. Of course, yours truly has never or would ever have that problem.

Blessings always,

Leon

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FYI to all readers -- There's nothing average about Leon..... laughing

On a serious note, Leon and Donna and others made good points. It seems as if Christopher wants to hit nothing but bullseyes. Not wrong, but it's unrealistic -- the real world doesn't work that way, nor does cyberspace dating.

People appreciate receiving a message with an emote, even though it is brief, because it infers that the sender is taking time to be more attentive. Including a brief comment about something in the recipient's profile adds the personal touch. No, not everyone will respond among paid members, but you can't win if you don't play.

Unpaid members come and go intermittently, as has been pointed out.

We need to keep in mind that each person is unique -- complete with a different thought process. There is no "one size fits all" approach that is guaranteed to reach a 100% mark. One has to keep trying and be patient.

Apr 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Brian-278516 said: Let me answer your question with a question. If you sent a message to a women and she was not a s...
(Quote) Brian-278516 said:

Let me answer your question with a question. If you sent a message to a women and she was not a subscriber but she saw your profile and was interested in you so she subscribed in order to read and respond to your message would you still consider a "waste of time?

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Best of both worlds? I would be willing to pay more for the luxury of allowing a non-paying member the opportunity to write me back without joining. I understand Catholic Match gets a benefit by enticing these people to join up when they have a message waiting that they are not able to read. But CM could recoup this lost benefit from members like me who are willing to pay extra. Catholic Match can surely do some number crunching to see what the tipping point is on the 2 competing benefits. Clear as mud?

Apr 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Mike-905381 said: Best of both worlds? I would be willing to pay more for the lux...
(Quote) Mike-905381 said:

Best of both worlds? I would be willing to pay more for the luxury of allowing a non-paying member the opportunity to write me back without joining. I understand Catholic Match gets a benefit by enticing these people to join up when they have a message waiting that they are not able to read. But CM could recoup this lost benefit from members like me who are willing to pay extra. Catholic Match can surely do some number crunching to see what the tipping point is on the 2 competing benefits. Clear as mud?

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I did agree with letting unpaid member respond. That would allow so many more scammers on line and we do not want them on CM. I know some people have even found them on this sight but letting people on without pay would open a big door for the evil. No thank you.


I would like CM to stay about the same price as many not so well off Catholics like myself would not be able to aford the sight. I know that individual can not even pay the price so they never join. Thus if you are getting a smile, which any non paying member can send... then this might be a hint that person is not an active member.



Apr 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Bernadette-363720 said: That would allow so many more scammers on line and we do not want them on CM
(Quote) Bernadette-363720 said:


That would allow so many more scammers on line and we do not want them on CM



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Good point, Bernadette.

Apr 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Mike-905381 said: Best of both worlds? I would be willing to pay more for the lux...
(Quote) Mike-905381 said:

Best of both worlds? I would be willing to pay more for the luxury of allowing a non-paying member the opportunity to write me back without joining. I understand Catholic Match gets a benefit by enticing these people to join up when they have a message waiting that they are not able to read. But CM could recoup this lost benefit from members like me who are willing to pay extra. Catholic Match can surely do some number crunching to see what the tipping point is on the 2 competing benefits. Clear as mud?

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Mike believe it or not is it not just about the money. If it were we would have done that already. It is also about engagement in the website. I realize you may not agree with what I am saying but we have looked at this issue from many angles over the years and the reality is that our current model does maximize users getting involved, becoming subscribers and engaging with other users. We have to view things from the least common denominater. This is as much a psychological issues in what causes people to "act" as it is purely finacial. That being said we have some ideas on a hybrid system that would provide a few more opportunities like you want without fundamentally alterning a model we believe works well. It is on our list of things to address but right now there are higher priorities.

Apr 20th 2013 new

(Quote) Christopher-546242 said: Right which is why I could just say "hello". My goal isn't getting people to sign up...
(Quote) Christopher-546242 said: Right which is why I could just say "hello". My goal isn't getting people to sign up, it's to have conversations and not waste too much of my time chasing ghosts. I get that they will see that I sent a message, but if I know the probability that they will read it is higher, then I will take longer to write a more thoughtful one. Anyways, thanks everyone for chiming in and good luck on the site.
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Christopher my advice for what it's worth is regardless of what your probability is that long intro messages on not that effective anyway. As in the real world conversations begin with an short introduction and with online dating you have the advantage of getting a lot of info up front from viewing a profile. It is unlikely that you would walk of to a girl at a party or event or bar and give some lengthy introduction. You likely would say hello and mention something short and quick to distinguish yourself. At that moment she has only those few words and your physical features to decide if and how long she wants to continue. Online she has the benefit of reading your profile seeing your photos (which there should be many) and hopefully a short and clever hello in a message.


I understand why you feel the way you do and I don't think it is unreasonable and very human but I do believe you are over thinking it and trying to control more than you need to. One last thing in terms of the time you spend, I don't know about you but I many many many many nights out with friends in college, post college and many years after in which I received little response from women despite the investment of time and money. As much time as you might spend sending some intro hello messages online I suspect it is far less than you can spend in other areas. But of course I hope you are doing both because you never know when or how you will meet "the one." I sure didn't and I was surprised when it happened.

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