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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

I put this question out there to those close to my age group. Those who have been married previously, might have a better perspective that is more grounded in experience.

Do you think Catholics who are alike or different in their hobbies, interests, occupations, and personality type, are a better match or those who are more different from each other.

For me, these are the aspects that seemingly should be similar:

-Slant on the faith, conservative or liberal

-Lifestyle

-Age

-Political outlook

-Approach toward having children

This post is submitted for discussion; I do not expect that everyone would think exactly like me.
Apr 24th 2013 new

(Quote) Jacqueline-556574 said: I put this question out there to those close to my age group. Those who have been married previousl...
(Quote) Jacqueline-556574 said: I put this question out there to those close to my age group. Those who have been married previously, might have a better perspective that is more grounded in experience.

Do you think Catholics who are alike or different in their hobbies, interests, occupations, and personality type, are a better match or those who are more different from each other.

For me, these are the aspects that seemingly should be similar:

-Slant on the faith, conservative or liberal

-Lifestyle

-Age

-Political outlook

-Approach toward having children

This post is submitted for discussion; I do not expect that everyone would think exactly like me.
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Funny you started this thread Jacqueline. I was JUST thinking about this the other day. I have "flipped" from one side to the other on this. I used to think "opposites" attracted. I NOW do not believe this. I think when there is commonality....such as beliefs, likes, ideas, hobbies and general interests....and yes, even personality type (with a few exceptions of course) the bonds between the two individuals are stronger. Hope it makes sense!~

Apr 24th 2013 new

I will agree with you as far as commonality in values. But not the rest. Unnecessary, IMHO.

I was married for 18 years to someone whose hobbies, books, sports, etc., were polar opposites of mine. It was okay. We created our own set of interests and our own mutual goals...instead of doing "his" thing and "her" thing.

While I would love to meet someone who shares my interest in silent films and writing and camping...I will be very happy if he simply enjoys hearing me talking about them. And we'll build something together that will be extra enjoyable because we have built it together! cloudnine

Apr 24th 2013 new
I think common interests are important. Sharing basic political outlooks, how the Faith is practiced, general lifestyle decisions including money and how time is spent, are all very important. Whether he likes a certain sport and I like another or each of us have some different interests, that adds zest to the marriage. I don't want to marry a clone smile
Apr 24th 2013 new
Oh and I neglected to mention personality. I have definite personality preferences and while it would not be opposite of mine, again I don't want his personality to be just like mine. There would be many ways my weak points could be complimented and many things I could learn from someone who looks and approaches things somewhat differently.
Apr 24th 2013 new
My grandfather was a widower for over 10 years when he married the woman I grew up calling Granny. They had known each other since they were teens, and were very alike in many ways. However, one was Democrat, one was Republican. They married and stopped voting, saying they would just cancel each other's vote.

They were only married 8 years, and Grandpa died. I can remember Granny saying "John's been gone 2 years, so I went and registered to vote again" I guess she waited 2 years as a memorial.

The point is I think a couple that loves each other can work out just one or two conflicts of interest, but have to have lots and lots of common ground
Apr 24th 2013 new
Let's just say that if people want to share a car ride, they at least have to agree on where they are going. They may not agree on the exact route (though they will have to be agreeable enough to select some particular route or decide who will wear the captain's hat), and they may not agree on exactly how the car should be driven, but they do at least need to agree on a destination, unless they are complete beatniks who don't even care where they are going. That does leave lots of wiggle room.

I personally do not care about most of the incidentals; I have identified three or four major points of agreement that are essential for me to have a happy marriage. The rest is wide open to debate and a lifetime of discussion.
Apr 24th 2013 new

Hi Jacqueline,

I was married to Pete for a long time and we were not much alike at all lol. People who met us separately were always stunned when they saw us together and realized I was who he talked about and he was who I talked about. And then after they saw us they got it. We just worked. We had very different backgrounds, he converted after we'd been married ten years. He was bold and ornery and had a laugh that just made you feel warm inside and a grin that melted you. He had deep and surprising compassion, incredible gentleness, a quick temper and you wouldn't want to tangle with him. He could do anything, knew all sorts of things, worked super hard and was well loved by lots of people. He could be a complete handful lol. I was the soft spoken quiet proper little nerdette. We complemented each other. We like Marge says created our own mutual likes and goals. We enjoyed getting together with friends, going out to dinner, trying new foods, having long conversations about everything on the front porch. What we had in common were a deep respect, even deeper admiration for the others talents, really strong love for each other and on the whole we liked each other -- although there were days LOL.

So, no matter what else we have in common if I respect you, admire and appreciate your gifts and my love for you (the hypothetical potential mate) makes me worry more about your well being than my own and you feel the same, I'd say we have a pretty good chance of creating a beautiful life.

Apr 24th 2013 new

And sometimes, it's not those major areas which cause a match to work or not. Sometimes the challenge lies in the small everyday things: does he not feel it's his responsibility to replace the empty toilet roll with a full one, and that drives you batty? does she let the dishes soak in the sink overnight, and you want that area cleaned up right after dinner? does one constantly point out the bad driving habits of others when you're on the road and that becomes the major conversation each and every time? "Love" is too often that dreamy feeling to people, rather than sacrifice, rather than subjugating one's preferences for the spouse's. And that trust that if I put YOUR preferences first, then you will put MY preferences first. If spouses really lived like that, would it matter that hobbies, etc were different? It would be a win-win situation no matter what. lovestruck! faint

Apr 24th 2013 new

(Quote) Lauren-927923 said: ...So, no matter what else we have in common if I respect you, admire and appreciate your gifts ...
(Quote) Lauren-927923 said:

...So, no matter what else we have in common if I respect you, admire and appreciate your gifts and my love for you (the hypothetical potential mate) makes me worry more about your well being than my own and you feel the same, I'd say we have a pretty good chance of creating a beautiful life.

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Wow, Lauren, you said the same thing I did, only I was so slow in composing my post! wave

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