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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Apr 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Meg-920823 said: .... I don't want to marry a clone
(Quote) Meg-920823 said: .... I don't want to marry a clone
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Apr 25th 2013 new

Great analogy!!!

Apr 25th 2013 new

(Quote) Lauren-927923 said: What we had in common were a deep respect, even deeper admiration ....we liked each other
(Quote) Lauren-927923 said: What we had in common were a deep respect, even deeper admiration ....we liked each other
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Apr 25th 2013 new

So very true!!

Apr 25th 2013 new
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said: Funny you started this thread Jacqueline. I was JUST thinking about this the other day. I have "flipped&qu...
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said:

Funny you started this thread Jacqueline. I was JUST thinking about this the other day. I have "flipped" from one side to the other on this. I used to think "opposites" attracted. I NOW do not believe this. I think when there is commonality....such as beliefs, likes, ideas, hobbies and general interests....and yes, even personality type (with a few exceptions of course) the bonds between the two individuals are stronger. Hope it makes sense!~

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I ask this as I think that it may be somewhat mixed as to alike in some ways makes for a good match, and different in some ways makes for a good match.

For example, I'm not so sure that I would do well with someone who has the same occupation as I do. We spend so much time with work that, if married to someone with the same occupation, the household might be non-stop shop talk. That would not be good with me, but it might be for someone else.
Apr 25th 2013 new
(Quote) Marge-938695 said: I will agree with you as far as commonality in values. But not the rest. Unnecessary, IMHO.I was marr...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

I will agree with you as far as commonality in values. But not the rest. Unnecessary, IMHO.

I was married for 18 years to someone whose hobbies, books, sports, etc., were polar opposites of mine. It was okay. We created our own set of interests and our own mutual goals...instead of doing "his" thing and "her" thing.

While I would love to meet someone who shares my interest in silent films and writing and camping...I will be very happy if he simply enjoys hearing me talking about them. And we'll build something together that will be extra enjoyable because we have built it together!

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I'm not sure if you are replying to my initial post or to Jerry's. But please note that I asked that there be no agree/disagree. That is not the intention of this post. Rather, it is to gain a better perspective about the topic.

As far as personally, there are some definite hobbies of mine that I would hope to find someone who shares them.
Apr 25th 2013 new
(Quote) Meg-920823 said: I think common interests are important. Sharing basic political outlooks, how the Faith is practiced, general lifest...
(Quote) Meg-920823 said: I think common interests are important. Sharing basic political outlooks, how the Faith is practiced, general lifestyle decisions including money and how time is spent, are all very important. Whether he likes a certain sport and I like another or each of us have some different interests, that adds zest to the marriage. I don't want to marry a clone
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You bring up a very good point that I did not mention previous. How time is spent is important. I think that it is the source of many conflicts in marriages.
Apr 25th 2013 new
(Quote) Meg-920823 said: Oh and I neglected to mention personality. I have definite personality preferences and while it would not be opposi...
(Quote) Meg-920823 said: Oh and I neglected to mention personality. I have definite personality preferences and while it would not be opposite of mine, again I don't want his personality to be just like mine. There would be many ways my weak points could be complimented and many things I could learn from someone who looks and approaches things somewhat differently.
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I have noticed that some marriages do work better with opposite temperments. This seems to be, from my observation, if the individuals have polarized temperments, e.g., an extreme leader of people matched with a peacemaker individual. I'm not 100% sure, but I think that I like persons who have a temperment more similar than different from mine. I am a type-A temperment. Basically, it means that I am pretty much focused in everything that I do. Wasted time seems to be more frustrating to me than to many others.
Apr 25th 2013 new
(Quote) Monica-291280 said: My grandfather was a widower for over 10 years when he married the woman I grew up calling Granny. They had kno...
(Quote) Monica-291280 said: My grandfather was a widower for over 10 years when he married the woman I grew up calling Granny. They had known each other since they were teens, and were very alike in many ways. However, one was Democrat, one was Republican. They married and stopped voting, saying they would just cancel each other's vote.



They were only married 8 years, and Grandpa died. I can remember Granny saying "John's been gone 2 years, so I went and registered to vote again" I guess she waited 2 years as a memorial.



The point is I think a couple that loves each other can work out just one or two conflicts of interest, but have to have lots and lots of common ground
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Yes, love could conquer all if the couple is motivated toward it. As far as politics, if one is a died-in-the-wool Republican or Democrat, and closely follows politics, this could be an extreme point of conflict in a marriage. But if they are light on their politics, then I think that it may work. One thing about politics, is that it also touches upon approach to the faith too, and that could also be a source of conflict.
Apr 25th 2013 new
(Quote) Andrew-290721 said: Let's just say that if people want to share a car ride, they at least have to agree on where they a...
(Quote) Andrew-290721 said: Let's just say that if people want to share a car ride, they at least have to agree on where they are going. They may not agree on the exact route (though they will have to be agreeable enough to select some particular route or decide who will wear the captain's hat), and they may not agree on exactly how the car should be driven, but they do at least need to agree on a destination, unless they are complete beatniks who don't even care where they are going. That does leave lots of wiggle room.



I personally do not care about most of the incidentals; I have identified three or four major points of agreement that are essential for me to have a happy marriage. The rest is wide open to debate and a lifetime of discussion.
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This is a good analogy. Thank-you Andrew. I guess we Catholics all want to get to heaven, and that would be our common destination.
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