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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

A friend of the family complained to me that she couldn't stand reading the dating encounters in the Dating Lab or something in the Washington Post. She was really tired that most people end the relationship after one date because there is no chemistry. She asked what was wrong with being friends first and then later seeing if it could develop into more. On the one hand, I could understand not being interested in even pursuing a friendship with someone who just watched tv or sat at a computer, if you were a very active type. On the other hand, if you appear to share the same values, the same faith and shared an interest in some activities, why not be friends and hang out and do things together? As you get to know someone, you might find the person more interesting than you realized. What do you all think?
Apr 27th 2013 new

I am a revert to the Catholic faith. (I was actually an atheist for 20 years. Eeek!)


When I dated as an atheist, I was much more concerned with chemistry. But now I focus on their faith and spirituality. (And, honestly, my attraction to them) The difficult part in answering your question is getting to the heart of this question, "What do people mean by chemistry?" I bet people are all over the map if we got in to the details of their meaning.


An easier question (than yours) for me to answer is this:

Does anyone think God reveals His will for you over time?

Yes, He does. Connecting with people of like faith is the best start for me. Praying and remaining open helps me discern God's will.

Apr 27th 2013 new

I've gone up to 4 get togethers with someone even if I don't feel an initial chemistry or whatever you call it as long as I had a comfortable time and sensed she did. After that though if I don't feel I'm on all 4 cylinders I feel like I'm just wasting their time.


But no I don't expect fireworks on the very first get together I try to get to know them fully.

Meeting someone on a venue like this can be awkward at first so it does take some time to see if anything does develop if its going too. I'd imagine though a small percentage of the people on this site get a ton of attention and a probably a bit more ready to move on after 1 date. I don't have that luxury so I try to really give the connections I do make a chance.

Apr 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Claudia-960515 said: A friend of the family complained to me that she couldn't stand reading the dating encounters in t...
(Quote) Claudia-960515 said: A friend of the family complained to me that she couldn't stand reading the dating encounters in the Dating Lab or something in the Washington Post. She was really tired that most people end the relationship after one date because there is no chemistry. She asked what was wrong with being friends first and then later seeing if it could develop into more. On the one hand, I could understand not being interested in even pursuing a friendship with someone who just watched tv or sat at a computer, if you were a very active type. On the other hand, if you appear to share the same values, the same faith and shared an interest in some activities, why not be friends and hang out and do things together? As you get to know someone, you might find the person more interesting than you realized. What do you all think?
--hide--



Most things worthy of your attention takes time to steep or brew before the delicate qualities can be discerned. When I first met my husband, I was not even the slightest attracted to him but he seemed to be smitten by me. He followed me around like a lost puppy dog. I avoided him at all turns. he stopped by and asked me out on a few occasions and I gave him a ridiculous reason why I could not go out that evening and he would just smile and say maybe next time. Please understand, I did NOT have anyone knocking down my door for a date but I was not attracted to him.


I moved from that location to different parts of the county 2 times and then 2 counties over (75 miles away) and who do you think I ran into 2 weeks after I bought my house: HIM! It turned out that he was renting one street over from where I had bought my place. Two months later I saw him again just standing in the middle of his driveway at 0645 on a Sunday morning, looking up at the sky and scratching his head. I stopped and asked him if he was busy and he said no, he just had the strongest urge to come outside so he did. We were together for 21 years before he passed away.

Apr 27th 2013 new

Hi Claudia, I think Joseph and Rochelle both bring up good points. CM is good beause you know after reading someone's profile if you have common faith and interests. It is certainly worth several dates to see if chemistry forms. It can also happen, as Rochelle noted, that the interest is not great enough initially but develops over a longer period of time. I have experienced both. This is where I let God be the navigator and steer me towards my life partner. Praying rosary After all, look what he did in Rochelle's life. Thanks for sharing Rochelle!

Apr 27th 2013 new
(Quote) Sue-935039 said: CM is good beause you know after reading someone's profile if you have common faith and interests.
(Quote) Sue-935039 said:

CM is good beause you know after reading someone's profile if you have common faith and interests.

--hide--


I wish I could know after reading someone's profile if I have common faith and interests. Most of the time, I am just left scratching my head.

I would be willing to give someone several opportunities over a few months at least for affection to develop as long as I sensed no negative indicators or disqualifying factors. I am always reminded of the line from the [i]Star Trek[/i] episode "Court Martial" in which the commodore says, "The court has not yet reached a verdict. We will hear this witness out," even though the ship is in imminent danger of crashing out of orbit and the logical thing to do is to abandon ship. I like to give ladies a chance, if they will only give themselves a chance.
Apr 27th 2013 new
(Quote) Mike-905381 said: I am a revert to the Catholic faith. (I was actually an atheist for 20 years. Eeek!) When I dated as ...
(Quote) Mike-905381 said:

I am a revert to the Catholic faith. (I was actually an atheist for 20 years. Eeek!)


When I dated as an atheist, I was much more concerned with chemistry. But now I focus on their faith and spirituality. (And, honestly, my attraction to them) The difficult part in answering your question is getting to the heart of this question, "What do people mean by chemistry?" I bet people are all over the map if we got in to the details of their meaning.


An easier question (than yours) for me to answer is this:

Does anyone think God reveals His will for you over time?

Yes, He does. Connecting with people of like faith is the best start for me. Praying and remaining open helps me discern God's will.

--hide--
Thanks Mike. That is a good point. It takes time to get to know someone and time to see how things go.
Apr 27th 2013 new
(Quote) Joseph-903200 said: I've gone up to 4 get togethers with someone even if I don't feel an initial chemistry or whatever you...
(Quote) Joseph-903200 said:

I've gone up to 4 get togethers with someone even if I don't feel an initial chemistry or whatever you call it as long as I had a comfortable time and sensed she did. After that though if I don't feel I'm on all 4 cylinders I feel like I'm just wasting their time.


But no I don't expect fireworks on the very first get together I try to get to know them fully.

Meeting someone on a venue like this can be awkward at first so it does take some time to see if anything does develop if its going too. I'd imagine though a small percentage of the people on this site get a ton of attention and a probably a bit more ready to move on after 1 date. I don't have that luxury so I try to really give the connections I do make a chance.

--hide--
Joseph, That is really nice that you give it a chance with the ladies.
Apr 27th 2013 new
(Quote) Rochelle-950483 said: Most things worthy of your attention takes time to steep or brew before the delicate qualities c...
(Quote) Rochelle-950483 said:




Most things worthy of your attention takes time to steep or brew before the delicate qualities can be discerned. When I first met my husband, I was not even the slightest attracted to him but he seemed to be smitten by me. He followed me around like a lost puppy dog. I avoided him at all turns. he stopped by and asked me out on a few occasions and I gave him a ridiculous reason why I could not go out that evening and he would just smile and say maybe next time. Please understand, I did NOT have anyone knocking down my door for a date but I was not attracted to him.


I moved from that location to different parts of the county 2 times and then 2 counties over (75 miles away) and who do you think I ran into 2 weeks after I bought my house: HIM! It turned out that he was renting one street over from where I had bought my place. Two months later I saw him again just standing in the middle of his driveway at 0645 on a Sunday morning, looking up at the sky and scratching his head. I stopped and asked him if he was busy and he said no, he just had the strongest urge to come outside so he did. We were together for 21 years before he passed away.

--hide--


Thanks Rochelle for sharing such a beautiful story!
Apr 27th 2013 new
(Quote) Sue-935039 said: Hi Claudia, I think Joseph and Rochelle both bring up good points. CM is good beause you know after reading som...
(Quote) Sue-935039 said:

Hi Claudia, I think Joseph and Rochelle both bring up good points. CM is good beause you know after reading someone's profile if you have common faith and interests. It is certainly worth several dates to see if chemistry forms. It can also happen, as Rochelle noted, that the interest is not great enough initially but develops over a longer period of time. I have experienced both. This is where I let God be the navigator and steer me towards my life partner. After all, look what he did in Rochelle's life. Thanks for sharing Rochelle!

--hide--


Amen to letting God navigate!
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