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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
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New Church Doesn't Seem Right

Apr 28th 2013 new

Today I went to the local Catholic Church. It was a beautifu ashamed l modern church. Everything looked perfect. So why did I not feel right here? No one welcomed me to the church. I smiled and tried to strike up conversations but no takers. The service seemed like it had been rehersed down to the letter. The Priest played a very small part in the entire ceremony. He didn't even look happy to be there.


Luckily there is another Catholic Church within driving distance I am planning on trying next week. It may be a little farther away but I hope it is a much better fit.


Has anyone else ever felt like this when trying out a church? ashamed

Apr 28th 2013 new

I think it is fairly common to be honest Lois. Some friends of mine who became members of my parish before I did, had come several timeand the wife told him after several weeks at mass that if no one talked to them this time they were going to a parish in Norman about twenty miles north of us. well Bernadette talked to them and they've been here ever since. It was similar with me, but Bernadette approached me pretty quick and so did Teresa :-). We set up greeters who were responsible for making first contact and one of our previous pastors would ask anyone new or visiting to stand so that we could all welcome them. Ours is a fairly small parish in a rural community but it happens in larger parishes as well. Lauren

Apr 28th 2013 new
I have never been bothered if I am not greeted when I go to a church, as for the priest I try to be more attentive these days to what is said, then how he looks. I know a few who may not look happy to be there, but I have come to know that is their personality, and what they have to say is generally good. Wen I'm bothered by the external trait, I try and look away so I'm not distracted thinking about what I wish he did different to not notice what he said.
Apr 28th 2013 new

Hi Elizabeth,
I am with you on this one. It does not bother me if anyone greets me when I go to a new parish. I am not there to be greeted. I am there to be with Jesus. I see lots of people at my old parish who looked pretty "bothered to be there" during mass at my old parish. I am convinced that what you bring  to the Mass and the church itself is what you will recieve in return. I have had some protestant friends that left the Church for that reason alone. That they weren't being greeted and that the priest did not seem "happy". they also said they were 'bummed out' that there was no 'fellowship' i.e. coffee  and donuts after Mass. So they went to Calvary Chapel... Very sad to me, that people go to Mass expecting rather than to 'give' and be grateful.

Apr 28th 2013 new
I moved and joined a different church a few years ago. I did 2 things that made a difference for me. One was to volunteer at the parish food pantry; I got to know people there. I also stopped going to the very crowded Masses, and went to 7 am Sunday, and , ( no surprise) found a lot fewer people there, and so it was easier to get a community feeling.

It is important to find a parish that you feel is your spiritual home. Good luck.
Apr 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Lois-880877 said: The Priest played a very small part in the entire ceremony. He didn't even look happy to be th...
(Quote) Lois-880877 said:

The Priest played a very small part in the entire ceremony. He didn't even look happy to be there.

--hide--

The priest played a small part in the ceremony? What do you mean? scratchchin

I totally understand the feeling of not feeling right when visiting churches. Especially after I've experienced the opposite in the past - an overwhelming "feeling right" - it's hard to "settle" for a church that doesn't feel like home. Personally, I look for different things in a church though - it doesn't bother me that no one welcomes me. In fact, I have never had anyone welcome me at church before... But regardless, going to church should be the highlight of our week, and if the church doesn't feel right, I'd say keep looking.

Apr 28th 2013 new

Often have felt like this. I attended one place for more than two years when finally someone came up and excitedly introduced herself and welcomed me...after two years.
Now I usually go to the chapel of cloistered nuns up the street from me.

Apr 28th 2013 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-726465 said: Hi Elizabeth,I am with you on this one. It does not bother me if anyone greets me when I ...
(Quote) Elizabeth-726465 said:

Hi Elizabeth,
I am with you on this one. It does not bother me if anyone greets me when I go to a new parish. I am not there to be greeted. I am there to be with Jesus. I see lots of people at my old parish who looked pretty "bothered to be there" during mass at my old parish. I am convinced that what you bring to the Mass and the church itself is what you will recieve in return. I have had some protestant friends that left the Church for that reason alone. That they weren't being greeted and that the priest did not seem "happy". they also said they were 'bummed out' that there was no 'fellowship' i.e. coffee and donuts after Mass. So they went to Calvary Chapel... Very sad to me, that people go to Mass expecting rather than to 'give' and be grateful.

--hide--

Very good point. The purpose of Mass is to worship God.

Apr 28th 2013 new
My hobby is trying out a new church every Sunday; I've been to over 700 over the last 14 years or so. Last week was a rare occasion where a gentleman actually did ask me if I was new there after Mass; that is very unusual. (I have actually hoped that I might find a nice unmarried lady who would ask me to lunch after Mass, but I have not had any luck at all in that department.)

On the other hand, I found this in the 4/14 bulletin yesterday at a parish I was considering for this morning:

Looking for huggers!

Some people really enjoyed hugging after mass last week and think we should do it all the time.

This is a great way for us to grow in our love for one another as the body of Christ and to get to know

each other as well. So if you are interested in being a hugger after mass, go to one of the doors and open your arms! Some people might think you are odd, but they thought that about Jesus, too! But others will embrace the chance to embrace!

I decided not to attend Mass there this morning; I would find such a thing extremely awkward. I would be tempted to tell the hugger, "Find me a wife first and I'll be eternally indebted to you and I will come back here on a regular basis to hug you all you want."

As for the Mass seeming rehearsed, there really should be no improvisation; that's why we have liturgical books. I have sensed a certain woodenness on occasion, though, and I guess the line between woodenness and wackiness can be a fine one to walk at times.

I am actually still in search of a good "fit" for me. I would like to see something along the lines of a Novus Ordo Mass in Latin with readings in English, but that is rare. If such a thing were available near me, I might consider not wandering from parish to parish any more, but the sides in the Church are too well drawn for that to happen.
Apr 28th 2013 new

The parish I belong to is fairly large, and if you don't have kids in the school well nobody pays any attention to you, but that is fine that is not why I go to mass. You are greeted when you enter and exit. I signed up to do a couple of things, and they do call occasionally when they need food donated.

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