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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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I'm a 22 year old mom who is working full time as a CMA and taking classes at night to get started on a second career path. I have a 2 year old daughter and she is such a huge blessing, but at the same time I find myself feeling so alone (which is really terrible to say since I have her unconditional love). I had to cut ties with her biological father a few months after she was born because he became abusive, and while I've gone on a few dates since then, I haven't had any luck finding a man who is open to committing to me. I have had countless guys label my daughter as "baggage", which certainly hasn't made me feel any better about my situation. I see so many friends my age getting engaged... it's discouraging. This isn't to say I'm ready to get married; I know for a fact I am not. But it would be nice find someone ready for a meaningful long-term relationship.. surprised ashamed

May 3rd 2013 new

Being a single mom at any age is tough. If you are able to work full time, go to school, take care of yourself and a daughter while holding it all together, you are an amazing and strong woman.


It is hard to find someone that is interested in a woman with little kids at any age, but I am sure at your age it's even tougher. Feeling alone is normal and scary, but you don't want to find someone that will take away that loneliness and fill a void in your life. You want to find someone that is in your life for something more than to fill a void and take away your loneliness. At 22, guys are still trying to figure out life. Most of them are not ready for along term relationship especially when there is a child involved that is not theirs. Keep doing what you are doing. Live your life, be happy. When the right person comes along, you want to be the happy, loving person that he has been looking for all his life. If you are holding your head down, wishing your life was different, you may never see him walk by.


One of my favorite quotes is Everyone comes with baggage. The secret is finding someone that loves you enough to help you unpack. When you find that special someone that loves your daughter as if she were his own, and fills your heart with love you will know it. I believe that it's worth waiting for.

May 3rd 2013 new

Yes, it is so very unfortunate that some men consider children "baggage", but you know in your heart that your child is the most precious being on this earth. I always look at Kurt Warner (Cardinal's football player) who married his wife, a single mom of two young children, one of them having a TBI (traumatic brain injury) at the hands of his father. He is a REAL knight in shining armor and he is who you, along with every other single mom out there, needs to look for. Do not settle for less. You and your daughter are worth it. Blessings to you.

May 3rd 2013 new

Rachel, if any man refers to children as "baggage", that's all you need to know that he is not father material. In fact, I feel sorry for his own progeny if he ever reaches that point. I have always wanted to ask one of these men if they considered a widow's children to be "baggage" as well?

You shouldn't feel anxious as a single mother about dating. Being in the same situation, I can assure you that I was concerned with it for many years, to my detriment. It is common nowadays- have confidence in yourself and don't worry about it. Worrying about it will bring you the wrong men if you are not careful. Some men might not like it- don't let them waste your time.

I think that if I were in your shoes, I would concentrate on creating meaningful friendships. That way you aren't waiting around pining for mr Right to come into your life and perhaps, one of those potential friendships might blossom into the long term relationship you want.

May 3rd 2013 new
Rachel, You are accomplishing much and sound very gracious. Regardless of the age, it seems like being alone looking for a partner is a struggle. Everyone you meet is a blessing and a lesson--in surviving adversity, thinking/trying new things, or being a help to them. Take each day one day at a time, and when the time is right, you will be blessed.
May 3rd 2013 new
rosary
May 4th 2013 new

(Quote) Rachel-967949 said: I'm a 22 year old mom who is working full time as a CMA and taking classes at night to get s...
(Quote) Rachel-967949 said:

I'm a 22 year old mom who is working full time as a CMA and taking classes at night to get started on a second career path. I have a 2 year old daughter and she is such a huge blessing, but at the same time I find myself feeling so alone (which is really terrible to say since I have her unconditional love). I had to cut ties with her biological father a few months after she was born because he became abusive, and while I've gone on a few dates since then, I haven't had any luck finding a man who is open to committing to me. I have had countless guys label my daughter as "baggage", which certainly hasn't made me feel any better about my situation. I see so many friends my age getting engaged... it's discouraging. This isn't to say I'm ready to get married; I know for a fact I am not. But it would be nice find someone ready for a meaningful long-term relationship..

--hide--

I want to thumbs up every post on here...

Rachel- you're working and raising your daughter, that is fantastic. Don't feel lonely, like someone said- centrate on friendships. Mr. Rachel-967949 will come in the right time. :)

In the meanwhile some of us make 'great' email pals :)

May 4th 2013 new

(Quote) Rachel-967949 said: she is such a huge blessing, but at the same time I find myself feeling so alone. I see so many...
(Quote) Rachel-967949 said:

she is such a huge blessing, but at the same time I find myself feeling so alone. I see so many friends my age getting engaged... it's discouraging. This isn't to say I'm ready to get married; I know for a fact I am not. But it would be nice find someone ready for a meaningful long-term relationship..

--hide--

hey Rachel, WELCOME to the CM Forums biggrin wave

that's great you're reaching out for support. Like someone said previously,, being a Single Mom at any age is tough. I've dated a few and have complete admiration for any single mother, never considered their child baggage, and completely amazed at their time management skills. Try not to let your 'singleness" get you down but look at it as a time to get to know yourself and build your strengths. The right Guy will appreciate you for who you are, and respect your ability to raise your child on your own. Praying theheart

May 4th 2013 new

You got this Rachael! You are young, beautiful & strong! The perfect man is going to come along & see all that. You are setting an amazing example for your daughter, keep up the good work. Focus on her & before you know it, someone will come into your life that will add joy! Praying hug

May 4th 2013 new

(Quote) Rachel-967949 said: I'm a 22 year old mom who is working full time as a CMA and taking classes at night to get s...
(Quote) Rachel-967949 said:

I'm a 22 year old mom who is working full time as a CMA and taking classes at night to get started on a second career path. I have a 2 year old daughter and she is such a huge blessing, but at the same time I find myself feeling so alone (which is really terrible to say since I have her unconditional love). I had to cut ties with her biological father a few months after she was born because he became abusive, and while I've gone on a few dates since then, I haven't had any luck finding a man who is open to committing to me. I have had countless guys label my daughter as "baggage", which certainly hasn't made me feel any better about my situation. I see so many friends my age getting engaged... it's discouraging. This isn't to say I'm ready to get married; I know for a fact I am not. But it would be nice find someone ready for a meaningful long-term relationship..

--hide--
First order of business is to say, "Welcome, Rachel" to CM and the forums. Discovering them early on can be ever so helpful, especially in your situation.

You're not alone in single parenthood. There are many on this site who work tirelessly and seemingly forever to do a good job of raising their children. For now, that is your priority. We are happy you chose life. It's not an easy path -- we won't try to fool you there, but it is the right path and that's ultimately what counts. Your child is NOT baggage -- she is a BLESSING, and will be the source of much enjoyment in the days ahead. You chose LIFE!!!

The fact that you are taking on work and school, plus motherhood suggests that you are on firmer footing than before. You have dreams and goals, and are actually doing something about them.

As the others have said, it's a tough situation, but not unbearable. But....there is a need for balance, which you indirectly realize by asking to find someone for companionship or a long-term relationship. You need some time for yourself -- "me time". Keep in mind that the children grow, and as time passes, your daughter will be able to do things on her own. You will see how unique she is -- there is no one else like either one of you. Watching her grow will bring joy.

In the meantime, keep your strong faith. It will help keep you going and will see you through every day that lies ahead.

Many blessings,

Ray

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