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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

May 07 new

It's tough. Guys do have an idea of what the "perfect woman" looks like. I remember in a dance class meeting this woman who was my exact ideal of feminine beauty. After two minutes of her acting stuck up I realized that I was not in the least bit interested!

I think it's also imprtant to know that few guys ever marry the woman who is their idea of feminine beauty, but after awhile she becomes the most beautiful women in their world. As men we should do a better job being clearer about what "physically fit" or any other physical description means, especially making sure that women know we aren't looking for perfection.

Ladies, from your end please remember that guys are visual creatures- our first method of sorting out who we are going to ask is your looks. Online it's less easy, but if you inculde pictures of you doing fun things so that you personality shows through then that will overcome the fact that you might not be his ideal. Guys will go for a "less attractive" looking girl who shows visible signs of being fun to be around over a more attractive women who looks hard to please. What I am saying is that good looks will get you to the front of a guy's line, but they won't keep you there very long! Also, different guys like different kinds of feminine beauty. So even if you don't fit the ideal, it doesn't mean that you should hide who you are. The guy that God meant for you is going to love you not despite your body, but because of your body and your spirit. So don't hide! You are beautiful!

May 07 new

I don't look for that, but my lifestyle resonates fitness. It is in all of the things I like to do. I think I need an active man who wants to be outside experiencing and doing. I don't have that as a criteria, but I know it must be to some extent because I gravitate towards men whose lifestyles echo mine.

May 07 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: How is this any different than rejecting a person based on looks? Or any other litmus tes...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

How is this any different than rejecting a person based on looks? Or any other litmus test, for that matter? If the person leads a lifestyle that is very physically active, it doesn't seem unreasonable for them to desire to date or marry someone who is able to participate in the same activities.

--hide--


I agree that it's not different that rejecting a person based on looks, how they sound on the phone, their personality, etc. But, I think the difference is that it's stated directly out there in their profile. And if you don't fit that mold, you feel insulted. As if they are better than you because you are not as physicially fit as them.

They are listing a qualification that the other person must have in order to be even considered. I may have in mind what I feel is attractive physically, but I keep those things to myself. I think that is the difference it's not stated out there in my profile what his "size" needs to be or any other attribute.

That's just my opinion...

May 07 new

(Quote) Maria-952927 said: My aunt was the one who pointed out to me that some men mention in their Ideal Match paragraph th...
(Quote) Maria-952927 said:

My aunt was the one who pointed out to me that some men mention in their Ideal Match paragraph that they'd like their partner to be "physically fit". I've never seen that listed until tonight. I had a guy view me, so in all curiosity, I viewed back and started reading through his profile...until I saw "I'd like my partner to be physically fit." Hey. To each his own, as the saying goes, but why are you going to be so picky? When I read that, I saw this guy in a different light...and it's wasn't a flattering one. You could have a great connection with anyone on this site, and if you say no because they're not physically fit enough for you, then you're throwing away potential friendships, relationships, or your possible spouse. If the connection is there, the appearance shouldn't matter. My opinion. I'm curious as to how others are going to reply.

--hide--

That goes both ways you know...how many perfect tens do you know that are dating or married to a couch potato guy who munches Cheetoes all day? The guys are just more upfront about it in their profiles than ladies are. Anything can happen, it's true, and I've known couples, even married ones, where one spouse exercises and lives a healthy lifestyle and the other doesn't, but I also know they often don't do much together. Let's be realistic: if one eats healthy, exercises, and likes to get out and play sports or do outdoor stuff, and the other likes to sit around and watch movie marathons and eat doughnuts, those lifestyles are not very compatible. I think any guy who works hard at his fitness and takes pride in it wants a partner who appreciates and shares similar values and lifestyle choices.

May 07 new

I'm stepping into a mine field simply by commenting on this thread, I don't doubt!

Do men care about women's general body shape? Yes. A little too much? Maybe. Sometimes. Usually.Yeah, us men aren't perfect! So what? I can tell you some of the younger ladies have unrealistic standards of their own, unfortunately. We all have expectations. Sometimes unrealistic or unfair ones. I think this really bugs people because it pricks your pride and insecurity. Hey, I'm not judging. It happens to me, too, I'm quite sure. I have made a point of expressing interest in about 80-90% of my matches. Guess how many times I've gotten an emotigram indicating mutual interest? Never.

The two ladies I have hit it off with -- we're just friends, I'm still looking! biggrin -- were not matches. The other ladies that went kind of straight-to-friendship (by mutual consent, as far as I can tell) are likewise not matches on the site. But still: suspiciously low rate of returned interest. And every day I have a choice to decide whether to be bitter or hopeful. We all are ridiculous because we want what's best for us.

And we have this silly idea that we know what the heck that is!

As for me personally: yes, my ideal for a woman is somewhat slender/athletic. As in, better than my own current status. It's what I'd prefer. It's not the only kind of woman that I can fall for, though. My mother is a food addict and it is a destructive habit. Her raising is part of why I don't have exercise habits really set in, but at least I've figured out healthy food choices and portions. This definitely plays into my preferences, but fair's fair. Looks aren't everything, but they do matter.

There are wonderful, beautiful people of the same sex as me, and you know what? I don't have the slightest bit of interest. That's because personality and charm aren't everything. Looks do matter to an extent, though it may be overemphasized by especially us young or immature folk. I have to remind myself of this article frequently and not think too highly of myself: www.boundless.org

May 07 new

(Quote) Linda-756196 said: I don't look for that, but my lifestyle resonates fitness. It is in all of the things I like ...
(Quote) Linda-756196 said:

I don't look for that, but my lifestyle resonates fitness. It is in all of the things I like to do. I think I need an active man who wants to be outside experiencing and doing. I don't have that as a criteria, but I know it must be to some extent because I gravitate towards men whose lifestyles echo mine.

--hide--


Thank you very much Linda!! Guys, take an example from this young lady. If you are active you will gravitate towards others that are active. It is not necessary to post in your profile that you are seeking someone who is "physically fit". It would be like a woman posting that she is seeking someone who "makes a lot of money" eyepopping.

May 07 new
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: How is this any different than rejecting a person based on looks? Or any other litmus test, for ...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:



How is this any different than rejecting a person based on looks? Or any other litmus test, for that matter? If the person leads a lifestyle that is very physically active, it doesn't seem unreasonable for them to desire to date or marry someone who is able to participate in the same activities.



--hide--


Jerry, I agree with you and Stephanie. Why is this preference singled out? We all have preferences about a variety of things and would like to enjoy specific traits in a spouse.
May 07 new
I guess I am a little confused. We post about face to face meetings and whether there is chemistry but chemistry comes from what is on the inside and the outside, at least for me. The inside is critical but his level of fitness, his lifestyle, whether he takes care of himself, whether he can do the things I like to do which are physically active...It doesn't seem shallow to me. The most important requirement, of course, is that he be a good Catholic gentleman but I want the joy of loving the same type of activities.
May 07 new

(Quote) Meg-920823 said: I guess I am a little confused. We post about face to face meetings and whether there is chemistry but che...
(Quote) Meg-920823 said: I guess I am a little confused. We post about face to face meetings and whether there is chemistry but chemistry comes from what is on the inside and the outside, at least for me. The inside is critical but his level of fitness, his lifestyle, whether he takes care of himself, whether he can do the things I like to do which are physically active...It doesn't seem shallow to me. The most important requirement, of course, is that he be a good Catholic gentleman but I want the joy of loving the same type of activities.
--hide--


So if I like to go shopping can I post that I want a man that makes alot of money so we have the joy of loving the same type of activities? laughing scratchchin rolling eyes laughing I couldn't help myself on this one.


I don't think that it is necessary to post on your profile that you are looking for someone who is physically fit. Like Linda said, you will automatically gravitate towards a physically fit person if you yourself are active. Look at the activities they enjoy on their profile; that should be telling enough for you to decide if you will find the joy of loving the same type of activities.


Enough said, and this is coming from the mother of a collegiate decathlete who is more "physically fit" than any man here who includes in their profile that they are seeking a physically fit spouse.


Priorities people, priorities.

May 07 new

Hi Everyone,


You know what, I have never seen that, either. I consider myself physically fit and slim (or so I am told). But you know what, that has nothing to do

with the men I date. I have dated overweight men, bald men, men shorter than me, men with bad skin (scars from childhood acne) and you know

what, I can say in ALL honsety that it doesn't matter to me AT ALL if he is physically fit. I have known lots of people (including men) who eat pretty


good and engage in a sport maybe twice a week and they just can't get down to the size the'd like to be. You know what does matter to me, since we

are talking about physicalities--grooming and hygeine. I would much rather date an overweight man, than a man with bad teeth, bad breath, bitten

nails, dirty hair and does not smell good. I will admit those things are paramount to me. So much more than how much he weighs or if he is in shape

or not. Of course, his spiritual life is everything to me...but since we are talking about the physical that is all I mentioned in the above post.

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