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I have a problem with my status on CM.

Once I got married. Neither me nor my ex were Catholic or Christian, and I gave him divorce (It is allowed in that religion), it happened 10 years ago and I was married for only 8 months. Since then I have been single.

I got baptised 1 and half year ago and now I am a Catholic. As a Catholic, I have been faithful, had no relationship, and I'm single. My question is: What is my status on Catholic Match? As a Catholic I never got married/divorced. So I'm not a divorced Catholic, but still I can't say that I have been single too. I chose "annulled" because I'm not married or single and as a Catholic I'm not divorced too; but I'm not annulled too!!! Confused faint

Would you please tell me which one am I?

May 8th 2013 new
Hmmmm, none of the above??? I think annulled is as honest an answer as can be as you are currently single, and it seems according to the Catholic Church you were never married. Still there are some rules around that, were you married in a church? Were you married by a Justice of the Peace? Were you married outdoors. Technicalities. I would speak to your priest though to make sure there is nothing stopping you from being married in the Catholic Church. Sounds like it is null & void though. Go with annulled for now ;-)
May 8th 2013 new

I think you need to consult your diocese.

Marriages outside the Church can be valid and require an annulment. Individual circumstances vary and no single answer can be given for all.

May 8th 2013 new

Hi, Bahar,

This is from the Code of Canon Law:

Can. 1142 For a just cause, the Roman Pontiff can dissolve a non-consummated marriage between baptized persons or between a baptized party and a non-baptized party at the request of both parties or of one of them, even if the other party is unwilling.

Can. 1143 §1. A marriage entered into by two non-baptized persons is dissolved by means of the pauline privilege in favor of the faith of the party who has received baptism by the very fact that a new marriage is contracted by the same party, provided that the non-baptized party departs.

§2. The non-baptized party is considered to depart if he or she does not wish to cohabit with the baptized party or to cohabit peacefully without affront to the Creator unless the baptized party, after baptism was received, has given the other a just cause for departing.

Can. 1144 §1. For the baptized party to contract a new marriage validly, the non-baptized party must always be interrogated whether:

1/ he or she also wishes to receive baptism;

2/ he or she at least wishes to cohabit peacefully with the baptized party without aVront to the Creator.

§2. This interrogation must be done after baptism. For a grave cause, however, the local ordinary can permit the interrogation to be done before baptism or can even dispense from the interrogation either before or after baptism provided that it is evident at least by a summary and extrajudicial process that it cannot be done or would be useless.

Can. 1145 §1. The interrogation is regularly to be done on the authority of the local ordinary of the converted party.

This ordinary must grant the other spouse a period of time to respond if the spouse seeks it, after having been advised, however, that his or her silence will be considered a negative response if the period passes without effect.

§2. Even an interrogation made privately by the converted party is valid and indeed licit if the form prescribed above cannot be observed.

§3. In either case, the fact that the interrogation was done and its outcome must be established legitimately in the external forum.

Can. 1146 The baptized party has the right to contract a new marriage with a Catholic party:

1/ if the other party responded negatively to the interrogation or if the interrogation had been omitted legitimately;

2/ if the non-baptized party, already interrogated or not, at first persevered in peaceful cohabitation without aVront to the Creator but then departed without a just cause, without prejudice to the prescripts of cann. 1144 and 1145.

Can. 1147 For a grave cause, however, the local ordinary can allow a baptized party who uses the pauline privilege to contract marriage with a non-Catholic party, whether baptized or not baptized; the prescripts of the canons about mixed marriages are also to be observed.

May 8th 2013 new

Also, this should be considered:

Can. 1060 Marriage possesses the favor of law; therefore, in a case of doubt, the validity of a marriage must be upheld until the contrary is proven.

This includes marriage between the unbaptized.

You are not considered "annulled" without your diocesan tribunal granting you a Decree of Nullity. Technically, you're considered married until either the Pauline or Petrine privilege is exercised in your favor. You should definitely open an investigation into this with the competent diocesan authority.

May 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Chelsea-743484 said: Hi, Bahar,This is from the Code of Canon Law: Can. 1142 For a just cause...
(Quote) Chelsea-743484 said:

Hi, Bahar,

This is from the Code of Canon Law:

Can. 1142 For a just cause, the Roman Pontiff can dissolve a non-consummated marriage between baptized persons or between a baptized party and a non-baptized party at the request of both parties or of one of them, even if the other party is unwilling.

Can. 1143 §1. A marriage entered into by two non-baptized persons is dissolved by means of the pauline privilege in favor of the faith of the party who has received baptism by the very fact that a new marriage is contracted by the same party, provided that the non-baptized party departs.

§2. The non-baptized party is considered to depart if he or she does not wish to cohabit with the baptized party or to cohabit peacefully without affront to the Creator unless the baptized party, after baptism was received, has given the other a just cause for departing.

Can. 1144 §1. For the baptized party to contract a new marriage validly, the non-baptized party must always be interrogated whether:

1/ he or she also wishes to receive baptism;

2/ he or she at least wishes to cohabit peacefully with the baptized party without aVront to the Creator.

§2. This interrogation must be done after baptism. For a grave cause, however, the local ordinary can permit the interrogation to be done before baptism or can even dispense from the interrogation either before or after baptism provided that it is evident at least by a summary and extrajudicial process that it cannot be done or would be useless.

Can. 1145 §1. The interrogation is regularly to be done on the authority of the local ordinary of the converted party.

This ordinary must grant the other spouse a period of time to respond if the spouse seeks it, after having been advised, however, that his or her silence will be considered a negative response if the period passes without effect.

§2. Even an interrogation made privately by the converted party is valid and indeed licit if the form prescribed above cannot be observed.

§3. In either case, the fact that the interrogation was done and its outcome must be established legitimately in the external forum.

Can. 1146 The baptized party has the right to contract a new marriage with a Catholic party:

1/ if the other party responded negatively to the interrogation or if the interrogation had been omitted legitimately;

2/ if the non-baptized party, already interrogated or not, at first persevered in peaceful cohabitation without aVront to the Creator but then departed without a just cause, without prejudice to the prescripts of cann. 1144 and 1145.

Can. 1147 For a grave cause, however, the local ordinary can allow a baptized party who uses the pauline privilege to contract marriage with a non-Catholic party, whether baptized or not baptized; the prescripts of the canons about mixed marriages are also to be observed.

--hide--

Chelsea, these laws are so complicated! :) My ex was/is Muslim, at that time I was considered Muslim too, although I was not in believe of Islam; so we both were Muslims (he was a faithful Muslim). I heard that he got married to a faithful Muslim woman some 4-5 years ago and I don't know were he is now. But I didn't get married after that, I was busy with my studies.

None of us were baptized (we were not even Christian). I asked Catholic Church Authorities about it, they told me that I'm considered "single" and that marriage was/is not valid according to the Catholic religion (as a Catholic I never got married/divorced). And I'm free to get married to a Catholic man.

Marge, since I was not a faithful Muslim, even according to the Islam religion that marriage was not valid. (that marriage was only valid on the court documents).

But I prefer to be honest and say that once I have been married (for 8 months) when I was not Catholic, but there is no "Other Option" for my situation on CM, otherwise I would have chosen "Other" and had explained about my status. Or maybe I should write "single" and then explain about my status!

Is there any CM manager to tell me what to do?

May 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Bahar-937890 said: None of us were baptized (we were not even Christian). I asked Catholic Church Authorities about ...
(Quote) Bahar-937890 said:

None of us were baptized (we were not even Christian). I asked Catholic Church Authorities about it, they told me that I'm considered "single" and that marriage was/is not valid according to the Catholic religion (as a Catholic I never got married/divorced). And I'm free to get married to a Catholic man.

--hide--

You were advised incorrectly. The basic rule is that a person who has been married previously, regardless of circumstances, to a person of the opposite sex who is still alive must receivea decree or determination of some sort from a Catholic marriage tribunal before they are eligible to marry in the Church.

Note that factors such as either's faith or baptismal status at the time or where the marriage ceremony was conducted or by whom, may affect the type of process required, but they never eliminate the need for a determination from the tribunal.

As Chelsea noted, there are some limited circumstances where valid but non-sacramental marriages (i.e., those where at least one of the spouses was not a baptized Christian) may be dissolved. Because all dissolutions must be handled by the Roman Curia, most tribunals will investigate whether the marriage was valid before petitioning for dissolution.

So, as far as CM is concerned, based on what you have indicated here, you are divorced and not free to marry in the Church. Your next step is to contact a marriage tribunal to determine how to proceed with a petition for annulment or dissolution. Note that many parish priests are not very well-informed of the canonical details regarding marriage and it is not uncommon to receive inaccurate information from them.

May 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Rachel-938025 said: Hmmmm, none of the above??? I think annulled is as honest an answer as can be as you are currently sing...
(Quote) Rachel-938025 said: Hmmmm, none of the above??? I think annulled is as honest an answer as can be as you are currently single, and it seems according to the Catholic Church you were never married. Still there are some rules around that, were you married in a church? Were you married by a Justice of the Peace? Were you married outdoors. Technicalities. I would speak to your priest though to make sure there is nothing stopping you from being married in the Catholic Church. Sounds like it is null & void though. Go with annulled for now ;-)
--hide--

Rachel, it was a traditional marriage (I didn't know my ex before marriage). It was in a Mosque and by a Mullah, I couldn't see that Mullah's face, his mustache, beard and eyebrows had covered his face! And I had the Flu and fever and violent coughing, sneezing and blowing my nose. I didn't hear what he said! wide eyed

It's the worst thing to have the Flu in your wedding day laughing I don't remember anything from that day, after the ceremony I was admitted to hospital for Flu!

May 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: You were advised incorrectly. The basic rule is that a person who has been married previo...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

You were advised incorrectly. The basic rule is that a person who has been married previously, regardless of circumstances, to a person of the opposite sex who is still alive must receivea decree or determination of some sort from a Catholic marriage tribunal before they are eligible to marry in the Church.

Note that factors such as either's faith or baptismal status at the time or where the marriage ceremony was conducted or by whom, may affect the type of process required, but they never eliminate the need for a determination from the tribunal.

As Chelsea noted, there are some limited circumstances where valid but non-sacramental marriages (i.e., those where at least one of the spouses was not a baptized Christian) may be dissolved. Because all dissolutions must be handled by the Roman Curia, most tribunals will investigate whether the marriage was valid before petitioning for dissolution.

So, as far as CM is concerned, based on what you have indicated here, you are divorced and not free to marry in the Church. Your next step is to contact a marriage tribunal to determine how to proceed with a petition for annulment or dissolution. Note that many parish priests are not very well-informed of the canonical details regarding marriage and it is not uncommon to receive inaccurate information from them.

--hide--

Thanks Jerry for the information

It was in a Mosque and by a Mullah

So I must contact the Church about it? I have all those documents

May 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Bahar-937890 said: Thanks Jerry for the information It was in a Mosque and by a Mullah So I m...
(Quote) Bahar-937890 said:

Thanks Jerry for the information

It was in a Mosque and by a Mullah

So I must contact the Church about it? I have all those documents

--hide--

Since neither of you were Catholic at the time I suspect the tribunal won't need the documents -- but hang on to them by all means just in case.

What they will be concerned about is whether you and your husband both had the proper understanding of the nature of marriage, freely consented to the marriage, and intended to live in accord with the nature of marriage (nature here meaning in accord with the natural law, not necessarily the Muslim understanding of marriage).

Based on what you've said i this topic, it is quite possible the marriage was not valid; even if it was, you may well qualify for a dissolution. The key is that these determinations must be made by the Church (a marriage tribunal or the Roman Curia), not by yourself or even your parish priest.

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