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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
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My divorce is final and now I'm faced with the option to change my last name back to my maiden name. I'm unemployed and WHEN I start working again, I could have a clean start with a new last name.


The whole reason I changed my name when I got married was because I knew I wanted kids and I wanted to have the same last name they do. I remember growing up with a girl who's mom, for professional reasons, kept her maiden name. I thought it was so weird that you would not have the same name as your mom. So, part of me wants to keep my married name.


The other part of me knows that things have changed and it's not as strange to have a different last name than your mom. Where I live, a large number of kids have a mom with a different last name. (Apparently it's cultural) We are no longer a family and I'd like to, in more than one way, go back to being who I was most of my life (I changed my name about 6 years ago). But then there is the issue of what I do if/when I get married again.


I went to school with a woman who kept her 1st husband's name, even after she re-married, so I know that there are all kinds of options. What are other people's thoughts on this?

May 9th 2013 new

I'm one of those who did not change her name back after divorce. With five kids, school stuff is SO much simpler for me. Yes, I do have to explain that we are divorced every now and again. But I realized that I may have the understanding that my ex is not part of MY family anymore, but he and I are both still part of our CHILDREN'S understanding of who THEIR family is. That was a deciding factor for me. Luckily, my ex and I live in very different worlds most of the time, and most people I now associate with have never met him, so my identity is not wrapped up in the fact that I still have his name. It doesn't even bother me anymore when I use that name. It's a lot easier to spell than my maiden name was too! laughing

On another note, I know your divorce was likely not a pleasant experience for you or the kids, and I pray that your re-building of yourself in a new role is filled with love, support, and peace. God bless! hug

May 9th 2013 new
My children were so young, for ease at school etc, I opted to keep my married name. Now I'm thinking of going back. However I have 20 years of frofessional identity to change. You are in a great position to make the switch. And it's really no big deal now. The worse thing that can happen is that your daughters friends call you mrs. Ex. Name Rather than ms. Maiden name. As long as that won't bother you, .... Now seems like a good time for a switch.
May 9th 2013 new
I kept my married last name because of my children. It just seems like it will be a much easier path for me. I think it really depends on each and every individual circumstance though and just because it was right for me to keep it, it could feel totally wrong for the next person.
May 9th 2013 new

"It's a lot easier to spell than my maiden name was too!", by Caroline

That is very funny, Caroline! In my case, no matter the spelling...the pronunciation of both my maiden name and my married name will get butchered!! So why bother? wink Strangely, though, it never occurred to me to take back my maiden name after our divorce!! Not until my sister took our maiden name back after her divorce did it register that I could have done that! For a few years I was so envious that she carried our maiden name until my seven kids thanked me for not having done what their aunt "did to her kids"!! Not sure what they meant, for sure, but I'm sure I did the right thing by my kids, at least!!

May 9th 2013 new

I never changed my name when I got married so I didn't have to decide. Maybe that was a sign? rolling eyes laughing laughing Do what you feel is best for you. Having a different last name than my kids was never a problem. It's all what you are comfortable with.

May 9th 2013 new

I went back to maiden name and did not regret it all. We had no children out of the marriage. Besides after the way the marriage was I wanted my own name back. Do what ever you feel best for you.

May 9th 2013 new

If I didn't have a son, it would be an easy decision. I'm leaning towards changing it because we both work in the same industry in the same area and I would really rather not have any association with him professionally, however the likelyhood that I would ever cross paths with someone that knows him is not good.

May 9th 2013 new

I went through the same thing, considering all the pros and cons of each choice. I did something that I think is a bit unique...changed my name at the time I was divorced (it was free to do so) to a completely new and different name. It has worked out well. All of my children approve and they were the only ones who got to "weigh in". biggrin cathy

May 9th 2013 new

I went through the same thing, considering all the pros and cons of each choice. I did something that I think is a bit unique...changed my name at the time I was divorced (it was free to do so) to a completely new and different name. It has worked out well. All of my children approve and they were the only ones who got to "weigh in". biggrin cathy

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