This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.
Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola
Interesting idea. I went to college with a couple that when they got married choose a new unique last name
I'm one of those who did not change her name back after divorce. With five kids, school stuff is SO much simpler for me. Yes, I do have to explain that we are divorced every now and again. But I realized that I may have the understanding that my ex is not part of MY family anymore, but he and I are both still part of our CHILDREN'S understanding of who THEIR family is. That was a deciding factor for me. Luckily, my ex and I live in very different worlds most of the time, and most people I now associate with have never met him, so my identity is not wrapped up in the fact that I still have his name. It doesn't even bother me anymore when I use that name. It's a lot easier to spell than my maiden name was too!
On another note, I know your divorce was likely not a pleasant experience for you or the kids, and I pray that your re-building of yourself in a new role is filled with love, support, and peace. God bless!
I also decided to keep my married name. I wanted to share the same last name as my children and I do not regret that decision.
I thought about going back to my maiden name at the time of divorce also. I talked with my kids about it and my little boy looked at me and said, "but, mom, that is MY last name". Well, that is exactly how I looked at it after that. If I remarry I would certainly take my new husband's last name because my sons are grown and married now. If I had remarried when they were growing up I would have hyphenated and used both names.
I am divorced. I am seeking an annulment. I have 5 children. I am changing my name back to my maiden name. I only changed my name to my ex husbands because of marriage. I am no longer married. I want to go back to who I was before I was married. Changing my name back to my maiden name for me is freeing. It is one more way I have moved on.
Thank you for sharing that! Really made me feel good about keeping my married name. I have 5 kids too (love seeing all the big families)...I wanted nothing more then to shed myself of "his" name, but kept it for the kids. Now I'm looking at it in a whole new light...it is "their" name (kids) and I want nothing more then to stay connected to my kids!
I kept my married name-I wanted to keep a united front with the kids. It was also a big hassle to change my name professionally when I was married and I did not have the time or energy at the time of the divorce for the explanation of the name change.
Your child is smaller, so the school issues are likely to be less of a factor since he is not used to the married name and all his friends, that was a factor for me too since my oldest is in HS and all the explaining to people.
Mary changing my name back to my maiden name in my profession is not easy either. However, I am going to do it anyways. For me I am no longer married. I am still the mother of my children and always will be whether I have the same last name as they do or not. For me it is healing to have my maiden name back and that is important to me. Changing my last name does not make me any less of a mother than if I kept my married name. However, for me having my maiden name back is freeing.
I do not regret changing my name back to my maiden name. I feel it was a very good decision for me.
I honestly couldn't imagine keeping my ex-husbands name. I never had the same name as my children even when I was married and that was ok. I personally couldn't stand it when I heard people refer to any woman as "she used to be..." whatever her maiden name happened to be. I wasn't becoming someone brand new, or the old me no longer existed, just because I was getting married, in my opinion. It's really a very individual decision and what each person is comfortable with. There is no right or wrong.