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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

May 10 new

(Quote) Michelle-443439 said: Do NOT talk about other dates, girlfriends or exwives. Do NOT talk about or allude to sex, in ...
(Quote) Michelle-443439 said:

Do NOT talk about other dates, girlfriends or exwives. Do NOT talk about or allude to sex, in any fashion. Do NOT answer your phone while spending time with her.

See how much time this will leave you with to just be in the moment!?!?!?

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Go for a walk, talk about the environment, go play miniature golf and have a few laughs while playing, go to the zoo and be playful while seeing the animals, go on a hike and talk while you walk....

May 10 new

(Quote) Joan-529855 said: Sorry John, but if my 26 year old daughter came home with somebody who was 38 I would...
(Quote) Joan-529855 said:


Sorry John, but if my 26 year old daughter came home with somebody who was 38 I wouldn't be too pleased and would let her know. From there she could do what she wants. If I was 26 and someone who was 38 approached me I would probably high tail it out of there. Try to find someone who is at least over 30 :veryhappy... BTW, why is it men are always attracted to the youngen's?

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Thank you Joan for providing a parent's perspective on here. clap Gentlemen, you have to think of what a lady's family would think of your pursuit of their daughter.

While I try to respect the fact that some have wider age ranges for their searches than I do, I am personally of the view that people who are closer in age and / or in a similar stage of life have more in common and are more likely to have an enduring relationship because they are in the same place in life.

When two people are evenly matched, one person is not the "boss" because they have more life experience. There is a difference between a leader and a boss. In a healthy marriage, a husband leads the family in the right direction, he does not give orders and expect to see results on time or "you're fired." Seniority is for job situations, it is not healthy in a marriage. Just my two cents

May 10 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: What sort of open-ended questions? It's often frustrating being out with a woman who gives me...
(Quote) John-220051 said: What sort of open-ended questions?

It's often frustrating being out with a woman who gives me short three or four word answers. Not only that it's discouraging.
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You've got to come up with things to talk about that either require more than a 3 or 4 word answer or that could lead to more of a conversation. Not easy, but I will watch the news and try to remember things that I could talk about when I go out with the girls that doesn't involve our kids.


If I were to talk to you, I would ask you things about cooking. I love to cook. There is something that find relaxing about chopping and dicing vegatables. What do you like to cook. If you tell me something that I don't know how to cook I'd ask you how you cook that or what's in it. If it's something that I also like to make, I'd ask you about how you make it. Then there is always the.... That sounds good. I'd like to try that sometime. I also noticed from your profile that you've moved around. I'd ask you where you've lived, why you've moved, where you liked living best and why. You went to Penn State. What did you think about the Sandusky scandal.


Striking up a conversation with a total stranger is a little harder. It would depend where you are at. I was sitting having a cup of coffee the other day and a man started a conversation with me because he saw me there in the morning and I was still there at lunch time. He simply asked me if it was my home away from home, which started a conversation about why I was there. I was at the Farmer's market and saw something that I had never tried, so I asked somone who was buying the same thing, what do you do with this. (I think it was some kind of ediable flower). When I was still new to my parish, I asked the name of the priest.


Where I live, both of our Hockey teams are in the playoffs for now, so that's a conversation starter. Also the fact that they are turning Dodger Staduim into an ice rink for the Winter classic would be a great conversation starter.

May 10 new

Well, I'm going to say the opposite. My daughter is 28 and I'd love for her to come home with a nice guy of 38 or 40 who's established in his career and settled in what he wants. The fellow she likes has impractical ideas about his future...and no real commitment to hers.

May 10 new

If you can't get past "hi", maybe you have nothing in common.

May 10 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: What sort of open-ended questions? It's often frustrating being out with a woman who gives me...
(Quote) John-220051 said: What sort of open-ended questions?

It's often frustrating being out with a woman who gives me short three or four word answers. Not only that it's discouraging.
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Open ended questions:


1) How did you decide to study in you field?
2) What led you to the career change?
3) What kind of music do you like?
4) What kind of movies, food do you like?
5) Where do you shop for groceries?
6) What is your take on the way they celebrate Christmas out in Society and the commercialization of all holidays?
7) What book are you reading right now?
8) What kind of books do you like to read?
9) How did you learn to cook/dance/sing/bake?
10)What is your workout routine?
11) Would you like to get together to take a brisk walk sometime?
12) What do you think of Obama?
13) Which are your favorite topics to read about?
14) Do you like photography? people watching? pets?
15) Do you read philosophy? history? literature?
16) Who is your favorite author?
17)How do you pray?
18) How do you listen to God?
19) Have you had any sense of how to tell God's will in your life?
20) Do you like your current job? Whjy or why not?
21) what would you like to do for your dream job?
22) What do you think of technology and it's impact on society and on the world both global and personal?
23) Are you on Facebook?
24) What make you happiest?
25) What is your family background?
26) How long has your family been in the US?

May 10 new

More questions:

1) Do you have siblings?
2) What is your birth order?
3) How has that affected you?
4) Who is your favorite saint?
5) What is your weekly/daily prayer regimen?
6) Have you ever tried a 54 day novena?
7)Who is your favoirte painter/artist?
8) What is your favorite period of art/music/literature?
9) What museums have you been to?
10)How do you like to social ize at work? Do you have friends there or do you keep to yourself?
11) Do you think our country is beoming more antiCatholic?
12) How do you see yourself making an impact on the world someday? (This one is very open ended!)

May 10 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: What is the key for a man to create a sense of attraction with a woman on a first date and after?
(Quote) John-220051 said: What is the key for a man to create a sense of attraction with a woman on a first date and after?
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Open the door for her,
open the car door for her,
pull out a chair for her and
make sure she is settled in her seat and
tell her she may order whatever she wants, even the lobster,
ask her if she wants to share a dessert.

Ask her out for a sip of ice tea on a hot afternoon and show her you enjoy her company.

talk to her about your self,
your hopes, dreams plans and desires for your future

talk about a not too heavy dilemma at work and get her opinion
talk about your attitudes about people at work or in your life or in society, but don't be too extreme(go gently here)

Talk about your reverence for God and all of His creation.
Ask her if she see sherself married someday...and watch her blush... and smile SMILE!

May 10 new

(Quote) Marge-938695 said: Well, I'm going to say the opposite. My daughter is 28 and I'd love for her to come home ...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

Well, I'm going to say the opposite. My daughter is 28 and I'd love for her to come home with a nice guy of 38 or 40 who's established in his career and settled in what he wants. The fellow she likes has impractical ideas about his future...and no real commitment to hers.

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Speaking from experience. My daughter at the age of 20 brought home a "boyfriend" who is 32 (same age difference as the OP). Just because he is 32 does not mean that he is extablished in his career and settled in what he wants.


I believe that part of the reason the 26 year old woman is giving the OP short one word answers is because they really don't have anything in common, because of the age gap, and it is really hard to have a meaningful conversation.


I was really hoping this topic was about a male CM member wanting to know more about how to build an attraction to women, in GENERAL, not one specific woman. At least then we as women would know that there actually are men on this site that are interested in building a relationship with women, in general.

May 10 new

Advice from Amy Owens--what she calls "the three golden questions"

What's a good Friday night for you? What's a good Saturday night for you? What's a good Sunday morning for you? Amy says, " When delivered in a friendly tone, these questions won't make your date feel intimidated, interrogated or defensive. Instead, he/she will feel invited to share as much or as little as he/she cares to. Be prepared to answer the same questions yourself. Better yet, simply share this information about yourself--instead of asking questions--is an effective way to get the conversation moving."
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