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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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May 8th 2013 new

Just a thought which I don't think anyone else mentioned: a lack of responses could also be the age factor--if you are writing to women who are much younger (or much older) than you, and maybe they don't like that age difference.

It's a grab bag.

May 8th 2013 new

That's my point. The folks from group 3 find each other and move on, and the rest remain...

May 8th 2013 new

(Quote) Albert-964084 said: ...Nothing is more pitiful than a 45 yo virgin, I'm here to live life w what God gave me. It doesn&...
(Quote) Albert-964084 said: ...Nothing is more pitiful than a 45 yo virgin, I'm here to live life w what God gave me. It doesn't mean that's all I want, I want marriage but if it doesn't happen, I won't be waiting around not to ever express love the way I choose even if my priest doesn't approve. It's not for everyone but being catholic isn't about listening to your priest but about listening to God through your heart.
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You responded directly to me (almost a personal attack?) so I feel I must defend myself. You asked a question and I gave you an honest answer. Their are others who may be to shy to say..premarital sex is what is called fornication and it is NOT ok with God it is not a priest teaching...But I'm really sorry for you, you seem to associate living with the physical/sex. Regarding Adam and Eve, I suggest you re-read Genesis and while you have your bible open take a look at 1 cor 6:9-11 and 18-20. Pray on your position which is in complete opposite of your churches teaching. Maybe with discernment and prayer the Holy Spirit will enlighten you.

May 8th 2013 new

Some of the answers have been a little harsh on you and I think, a little judgemental. We each have our own relationship with God and with the Church. While those that came down hard on the premarital sex thing probably would not want to connect with you, there are others who agree with you and would. I havnt looked at your profile because you are too young, but you are a handsome man and I suspect you have tried to connect with people who havnt paid for membership. I have said before I think the practice of having profiles of non members is deceptive.
The fact is that the site asks 7 questions and I respect those who answer honestly. I personally have a hard time with yes/no answers on those questions because most of us have belief systems that are more complicated than that. I think the questions are useful because it enables us to find those who's values are similar to ours, but shouldnt necessarily be the be all and end all in judging whether someone is worth knowing, unless your own personal value system cannot tolerate anything less than absolute adherence. Then, of course, use them to eliminate those who dont agree.
But dont use them to judge others or to berate others who may have a different opinion. Dont let a poster on Forum speak for all members. We are as varied in our opinions as we are in our ages and locations.
While the members here tend to be conservative, it is still a site that allows us access to other singles that share our religion, no matter where we are on the spectrum. It is still easier than being on a regular site and finding people who while attractive, are so far from our own life view that a good relationship is almost impossible, even when some of the more conservative among us get "judgy".

May 9th 2013 new

(Quote) Joan-461057 said: Some of the answers have been a little harsh on you and I think, a little judgemental. We each hav...
(Quote) Joan-461057 said:

Some of the answers have been a little harsh on you and I think, a little judgemental. We each have our own relationship with God and with the Church. While those that came down hard on the premarital sex thing probably would not want to connect with you, there are others who agree with you and would. I havnt looked at your profile because you are too young, but you are a handsome man and I suspect you have tried to connect with people who havnt paid for membership. I have said before I think the practice of having profiles of non members is deceptive.
The fact is that the site asks 7 questions and I respect those who answer honestly. I personally have a hard time with yes/no answers on those questions because most of us have belief systems that are more complicated than that. I think the questions are useful because it enables us to find those who's values are similar to ours, but shouldnt necessarily be the be all and end all in judging whether someone is worth knowing, unless your own personal value system cannot tolerate anything less than absolute adherence. Then, of course, use them to eliminate those who dont agree.
But dont use them to judge others or to berate others who may have a different opinion. Dont let a poster on Forum speak for all members. We are as varied in our opinions as we are in our ages and locations.
While the members here tend to be conservative, it is still a site that allows us access to other singles that share our religion, no matter where we are on the spectrum. It is still easier than being on a regular site and finding people who while attractive, are so far from our own life view that a good relationship is almost impossible, even when some of the more conservative among us get "judgy".

--hide--


I have read through the posts and do not find them judgemental. Albert asked why he was not getting responses and a number of us answered.

It is a fact that this is a Catholic site. And a large number of men and women are here to seek a partner who will help them in their Catholic journey. So this is one area where many would not respond back to him. In fact, I only read Albert's profile to give him constructive feedback, as he asked for it. Just because one does not agree with it, does not mean that it is judgmental. I think the posts have been very charitable, asking Albert to discern and pray about his stance on premarital sex. Our Lady of Fatima has said, " More souls go to hell for sins of the flesh than for any other reason."

The bible and the church teachings are very clear about this. To me it is not a personal value system but a Catholic value system based on God's teaching. To do anything else is disobedience to God. And to me a 45 year old virgin is precious in the sight of God. That is our calling.


"Do you not realise that people who do evil will never inherit the kingdom of God? Make no mistake -- the sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, the self-indulgent, sodomites, thieves, misers, drunkards, slanderers and swindlers, none of these will inherit the kingdom of God.

Some of you used to be of that kind: but you have been washed clean, you have been sanctified, and you have been justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and through theSpirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6 : 9-11

Is it OK for us to remain silent and let a soul be lost? If someone has failed in this area, God is forgiving. He is always there to give us the strength we require to remain chaste. You can be washed clean.


So those of you who think premarital sex is OK, please pray and seek God and he will guide you. I pray that God bless you and show everyone seeking, the light and the truth. Praying Praying Praying


May 9th 2013 new

When I read your profile, I thought you might not be getting responses because you haven't taken the personality/temperament test yet? Just an idea.

May 10th 2013 new

I'm not sure I can add anything new to what has already been said, but I am going to chime in anyway since I am a paying member and able to repsond. So many threads about "no responses". When I first started I was all upset about it, but as you've read in these posts it could be they are a nonpaying member. (I agree CM should sort out paying from nonpaying members so I do not waste my time or get my hopes up- but CM is a business so they use all profiles- active and inactive- to entice people to join.)

The second thing is about the premarital sex issue. If you're on the forums long enough, you'll enconter the "7 out of 7" issue. I cannot speak for anyone else, but the one on premarital sex is a red flag for ME. If I see that on a woman's profile, it makes me wonder how many sexual encounters the woman has had and if she thinks casual sex is OK. Since that is not what I am looking for (I wouldn't expect anything of others that I do not uphold or practice), it's a dealbreaker and is probably so for many others since this is a Catholic site. But Catholic is a wide spectrum, so you may find other women on here who don't mind that (you will probably never see them post that in the forums). I just wouldn't assume the majority to feel like you do and maybe the lack of responses is one way they are responding to that part of your profile.

May 10th 2013 new

I was just thinking about people that are non-paying members. If you look at their site activities, you can see if they are active in chat rooms and forums. Since those are only available to paying members, I think that would be an indication. However, they may have been a paying member at one time and no longer are, so it's more of a guide rather than a sure indication.

May 10th 2013 new

(Quote) Pauline-931463 said: I have read through the posts and do not find them judgemental. Albert asked why h...
(Quote) Pauline-931463 said:


I have read through the posts and do not find them judgemental. Albert asked why he was not getting responses and a number of us answered.

It is a fact that this is a Catholic site. And a large number of men and women are here to seek a partner who will help them in their Catholic journey. So this is one area where many would not respond back to him. In fact, I only read Albert's profile to give him constructive feedback, as he asked for it. Just because one does not agree with it, does not mean that it is judgmental. I think the posts have been very charitable, asking Albert to discern and pray about his stance on premarital sex. Our Lady of Fatima has said, " More souls go to hell for sins of the flesh than for any other reason."

The bible and the church teachings are very clear about this. To me it is not a personal value system but a Catholic value system based on God's teaching. To do anything else is disobedience to God. And to me a 45 year old virgin is precious in the sight of God. That is our calling.


"Do you not realise that people who do evil will never inherit the kingdom of God? Make no mistake -- the sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, the self-indulgent, sodomites, thieves, misers, drunkards, slanderers and swindlers, none of these will inherit the kingdom of God.

Some of you used to be of that kind: but you have been washed clean, you have been sanctified, and you have been justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and through theSpirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6 : 9-11

Is it OK for us to remain silent and let a soul be lost? If someone has failed in this area, God is forgiving. He is always there to give us the strength we require to remain chaste. You can be washed clean.


So those of you who think premarital sex is OK, please pray and seek God and he will guide you. I pray that God bless you and show everyone seeking, the light and the truth.


--hide--


Pauline,

You are a wise lady! Very nicely said, Sister! God bless you, Veronica biggrin theheart

May 10th 2013 new

(Quote) Albert-964084 said: ...... I won't be waiting around not to ever express love the way I choose
(Quote) Albert-964084 said: ...... I won't be waiting around not to ever express love the way I choose
--hide--
Hi Albert, just a thought, but if you fell in love and wanted to express your love for your woman, why wouldn't you just marry her?

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