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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
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Are you flexible?

May 11th 2013 new

Just thinking that a significant reason for so many of us being single after 40 is a lack of flexibility. I would include myself in this category as I'm caring for my elderly mother making any relationship at a distance really difficult. When I moved back to Canada I spent years as a part-time nurse waiting " in que' for a full time position to be available. Now that I have senority it seems so scary to leave and start all over again. I woud do it for the man God has planned for me but it wouldn't be easy. I've grown up in a large family and know what it means to make sacrifices for another. I pray that God will help me find a man who will be flexible as the years seems to make people set in their ways as they grow older (again I include myself). I'm sure a common problem for many is that they still have kids at home or don't want to move away from them; completely understandable. Anyone feeling the same way?

May 11th 2013 new

Agreed. For me it's more job, as my son is away at college and will likely find his first job away from here.

May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Louise-877216 said: Just thinking that a significant reason for so many of us being single after 40 is a lack of fle...
(Quote) Louise-877216 said:

Just thinking that a significant reason for so many of us being single after 40 is a lack of flexibility. I would include myself in this category as I'm caring for my elderly mother making any relationship at a distance really difficult. When I moved back to Canada I spent years as a part-time nurse waiting " in que' for a full time position to be available. Now that I have senority it seems so scary to leave and start all over again. I woud do it for the man God has planned for me but it wouldn't be easy. I've grown up in a large family and know what it means to make sacrifices for another. I pray that God will help me find a man who will be flexible as the years seems to make people set in their ways as they grow older (again I include myself). I'm sure a common problem for many is that they still have kids at home or don't want to move away from them; completely understandable. Anyone feeling the same way?

--hide--
I hear ya, Louise! Most of my life I wasted being "on hold": when I was young and single, somewhere I got the idea that I couldn't do certain things or make certain choices, because I was waiting to get married, and making those choices while single would make it more difficult or be more hurtful to adjust when married. Then I got married, he joined the Air Force, and again, nothing could be very permanent because I knew a move would always loom in our future. When we separated and divorced, I couldn't make other choices, because of raising my son and needing to be in the same vicinity as my ex so he had access to our boy. So now, with son's being in university in about 2 years, I finally have the freedom to make certain choices for myself. Or so I think. Practical aspects, such and employment and health care coverage, can threaten the realization of my preferred choices. And certainly, I don't omit God's Will in all of this!

I think we're called to be both flexible and inflexible. We need to discern where our "truths" are and stand firm; we need to practice selflessness and allow for the give necessary in order to let in close another person, which, in turn, may establish within us new truths and new gives. Just like physical exercise--we need to stretch daily to maintain flexibility, while knowing what are our true limits and what are barriers which exist only in our minds.

May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Louise-877216 said: Just thinking that a significant reason for so many of us being single after 40 is a lack of fle...
(Quote) Louise-877216 said:

Just thinking that a significant reason for so many of us being single after 40 is a lack of flexibility. I would include myself in this category as I'm caring for my elderly mother making any relationship at a distance really difficult. When I moved back to Canada I spent years as a part-time nurse waiting " in que' for a full time position to be available. Now that I have senority it seems so scary to leave and start all over again. I woud do it for the man God has planned for me but it wouldn't be easy. I've grown up in a large family and know what it means to make sacrifices for another. I pray that God will help me find a man who will be flexible as the years seems to make people set in their ways as they grow older (again I include myself). I'm sure a common problem for many is that they still have kids at home or don't want to move away from them; completely understandable. Anyone feeling the same way?

--hide--
Not as flexible as in days gone by....Can't touch my toes with my hands any more. rolling eyes eyebrow faint

May 11th 2013 new

I thought I was flexible, but recently took a yoga class and, well, um, reality stinks!

May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: I thought I was flexible, but recently took a yoga class and, well, um, reality stinks!
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:

I thought I was flexible, but recently took a yoga class and, well, um, reality stinks!

--hide--
first time I did yoga (about 3 months ago) my hips hurt for several days. I am glad I am doing it; I have alot less aches and pains. Should have started several decades ago Ha ha

May 11th 2013 new

I am willing to discuss and compromise on most things. Regarding living situation, in another 18 months I'll be able to do whatever I choose...which gives me plenty of time to meet someone, develop a relationship, and discuss those compromises.
Offhand I can think of only a few subjects on which I have inflexible views.... scratchchin

May 11th 2013 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: Not as flexible as in days gone by....Can't touch my toes with my hands any more.
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Not as flexible as in days gone by....Can't touch my toes with my hands any more.

--hide--


Sadly, Ray, I don't think I've ever been able to do that!! wink Chelle

May 12th 2013 new

Louise,

This is an important question and we are each called to ultimately have an answer at the ready. I'm not flexible in where I can move or what freedom I have even in dating. My children come first and moving is not an option. I'm not flexible in my faith. It is Catholic all the way! I see all of these as blessings, not problems and I believe that God is aware of these details and won't ask me to compromise on them. It is up to me to keep that connection going...through prayer I can do just that.

Where I am flexible is being open to new experiences and new people placed in my path. A man had outlined the options for me through my parish and I had to laugh. Of the three single men in my age group, none had annulments. I said to him, then we just need to keep praying someone new moves to Big Lake!

May 12th 2013 new
I think it is not so much a lack of flexibility, but do other obligations make flexibility seemingly difficult--at least as it relates to logistics. Then professional obstacles in relocating can be minor, but having a job is a reality. Staying close to children/ex until they are at least in college is another practical reason for not moving, but possible at a future date. Caring for older parents, unless they can/will move with you makes relocating challenging as well. On matters of principles or morals, flexibility seems more difficult to offer a compromise.
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