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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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HI I am starting this new forum after the number of responses to Albert's post, "Send many messages - fail to receive any response"

How many of us here on this Catholic site will not give a second thought to a profile that agrees to premarital sex.


For me it is a deal breaker:

1. I am on this site to meet a man who will help me get closer to my God - my first criteria is a man seeking to love God with all his heart.

2. Premarital sex is fornication <FULLSTOP> It is a mortal sin and separates me from the love and grace of my God

3. True love would wait. That teaches patience and perseverance -qualities that build a good relationship


God bless



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May 11 new

I cannot say that it would be a dealbreaker.

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May 11 new

I think this rule applies better to young boys and girls who have lived a chaste life all the way up to marriage, are virgin and are going to get married. Then the "no sex before marriage" has a symbolic significance: when they marry each other, that night, the contract is actually written in the blood of the hymen, and as it is common throughout the bible, there is no contract, no covenant without blood being spilled. In the past, I believe the father of the girl used to keep the bed sheets on which the marriage was consumed (with the blood and all) as a proof that her daughter was a virgin.
In my case, I was already married and I am no longer a virgin. I have a hard time seeing how that no-premarital sex would apply to me, unless the girl I would be in the process of marrying is a virgin.
So I will not lie to myself. I don't know how the priests do it, but I like sex, and if I have the opportunity, at my age, I will have sex before marriage.

LOCKED
May 11 new

I wouldn't want a man pressuring me toward sex before marriage, even if it were just in how he doesn't understand how beneficial it is to the relationship, how sex before marriage can hide the problems and cloud the thinking about how well the other person would fit as a spouse, how waiting shows how caring of another comes before selfish desires -- these differences in understanding would create pressure that would be uncomfortable. I have talked with a few men on here and explained how I value our Church's teaching on this subject and other commonly disagreed with subjects, and it has been nice to help them come closer to understanding and believing the same way, but usually there are too many other problems that I think are all tied in to that selfish desire for sex before marriage. I've decided it is far safer to not let my heart get involved with a man who does not truly believe 7/7.

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May 11 new

(Quote) Jacques-961161 said: I think this rule applies better to young boys and girls who have lived a chaste life all the w...
(Quote) Jacques-961161 said:

I think this rule applies better to young boys and girls who have lived a chaste life all the way up to marriage, are virgin and are going to get married. Then the "no sex before marriage" has a symbolic significance: when they marry each other, that night, the contract is actually written in the blood of the hymen, and as it is common throughout the bible, there is no contract, no covenant without blood being spilled. In the past, I believe the father of the girl used to keep the bed sheets on which the marriage was consumed (with the blood and all) as a proof that her daughter was a virgin.
In my case, I was already married and I am no longer a virgin. I have a hard time seeing how that no-premarital sex would apply to me, unless the girl I would be in the process of marrying is a virgin.
So I will not lie to myself. I don't know how the priests do it, but I like sex, and if I have the opportunity, at my age, I will have sex before marriage.

--hide--

Previous sexual experience doesn't make you damaged goods, and doesn't excuse second-rate sexual/ethical commitments.

This is a dealbreaker to me as well. I've done things I regret before, but you pick yourself up, confess, and move on. Regardless of her past, I'm looking for a faithful Catholic woman who either is a virgin or who refuses to let her non-virginity be an excuse to do whatever, as if committing mortal sin once somehow justifies doing so again and again without genuine repentance and penance.

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May 11 new

I believe in the teaching of the church but still would see where the man really stands on the subject. I believe that we need to use a good judgement and be a good witness to our beliefs.

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May 11 new

(Quote) Pauline-931463 said: HI I am starting this new forum after the number of responses to Albert's post, "Send ...
(Quote) Pauline-931463 said:

HI I am starting this new forum after the number of responses to Albert's post, "Send many messages - fail to receive any response"

How many of us here on this Catholic site will not give a second thought to a profile that agrees to premarital sex.


For me it is a deal breaker:

1. I am on this site to meet a man who will help me get closer to my God - my first criteria is a man seeking to love God with all his heart.

2. Premarital sex is fornication <FULLSTOP> It is a mortal sin and separates me from the love and grace of my God

3. True love would wait. That teaches patience and perseverance -qualities that build a good relationship


God bless



--hide--

I completely agree. A man who is not actively trying to live chastely though he may struggle with it, is a no go for me. I can understand that a man says that chatisty is a struggle for him and he is having a hard time with it, but if he is not even trying; definitely not an option.

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May 11 new

(Quote) Bernadette-363720 said: I believe in the teaching of the church but still would see where the man really stands on t...
(Quote) Bernadette-363720 said:

I believe in the teaching of the church but still would see where the man really stands on the subject. I believe that we need to use a good judgement and be a good witness to our beliefs.

--hide--
amen

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May 11 new
Rachel you raise a good point about not having a person(could be a woman pressuring a man) pressuring the other into anything: sex, travel, activities, etc. part of the relationship involves respect for the other. Bernadette raises a good point about Using good judgment too. I think everyone so far has kindly and articulately stated their position. This for me is why I think limiting searches to only 7/7 people is too restrictive, and does not allow for discussion, discernment, and change of position.
LOCKED
May 11 new

(Quote) Jacques-961161 said: I think this rule applies better to young boys and girls who have lived a chaste life all the w...
(Quote) Jacques-961161 said:

I think this rule applies better to young boys and girls who have lived a chaste life all the way up to marriage, are virgin and are going to get married. Then the "no sex before marriage" has a symbolic significance: when they marry each other, that night, the contract is actually written in the blood of the hymen, and as it is common throughout the bible, there is no contract, no covenant without blood being spilled. In the past, I believe the father of the girl used to keep the bed sheets on which the marriage was consumed (with the blood and all) as a proof that her daughter was a virgin.
In my case, I was already married and I am no longer a virgin. I have a hard time seeing how that no-premarital sex would apply to me, unless the girl I would be in the process of marrying is a virgin.
So I will not lie to myself. I don't know how the priests do it, but I like sex, and if I have the opportunity, at my age, I will have sex before marriage.

--hide--

Jacques I hope you know that this comment you just made probably made your chances of finding a match on CM even harder. I am not sure why you would be seeking a wife on CM if these are your views. Please help me understand the logic behind that. You have to understand that this view point is hurting you in ways that you have not even begun to understand and has effects far reaching; even beyond this life. I really hope that you examine that view point and see it for what it is. I am praying that you will. Praying

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