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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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My ex lost his job, and refuses to pay any kind of child support.....I just keep praying that he find a job to keep his mind occupied and continue to carry my son on his health insurance....he is refusing any kind of cobra......I have taken insurance out for my son....but it is very costly......Any suggestions.....

May 15th 2013 new

So sorry to hear!! hug Praying


Do a web search for child support agencies there in Texas that will help you. Contact them immediately and start the paper work. Part of being a responsible adult is getting a job, sometimes any job, to pay your financial responsibilities. If your ex doesn't do this, the agencies have ways to collect the money owed you (i.e. garner his tax refund).


Depending on your salary, would you qualify for food stamps (or whatever it may be called in your state)? You might qualify for insurance through the state, check on that. Contact your chuch's St. Vincent de Paul and see if your church can help you out (maybe food, gas cards). Try the local food pantry. Let your child's school know your situation. If you qualify for government help, that usually allows you to receive reduced fees/no fees for school related things (ie fieldtrips, free lunch, maybe free breakfast, no registration fee). Look at your own expenses. What can you cut out? Cable? Newspaper delivery? Data service on your cell?

May 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Shelly-972679 said: My ex lost his job, and refuses to pay any kind of child support.....I just keep praying that he...
(Quote) Shelly-972679 said:

My ex lost his job, and refuses to pay any kind of child support.....I just keep praying that he find a job to keep his mind occupied and continue to carry my son on his health insurance....he is refusing any kind of cobra......I have taken insurance out for my son....but it is very costly......Any suggestions.....

--hide--


What does your divorce decree say. If he is ordered to pay child support, he is in violation of a court order. All my experience is based on California, so I'm not sure about TX. In California, you need to open a case with child support services. They will garnish your ex's unemployment, wages, tax refund or anything else they can get their hands on. I have also heard that in some places that they will not renew car registration if there is an issue with back child support. Medical insurance is, at least for most people I know, considered part of child support and he is responsible for a portion of that. Usually 50/50. There are programs out here for kids to make sure that they are insured. It took some effort, but after beating on doors and making calls, I finally got him insured for about $75/month before I lost my job and now have my son on state insurance. (You would be surprised if you apply through the state, for only the child, just how much income you can have and still qualify) Keep track of all the expenses related to your child. Send him copies and maybe even have him sign acknowledgement of receiving the expense. It will take a while, but he will have to take financial responsibility for his child.


There is a great website that I have to use for tracking expenses and other child related issues called Our Family Wizard. It's expensive ($100/year), but for me it's been totally worth it.

May 15th 2013 new

Thank you so much for your replies....I will do that tomorrow...contact the child support office.....he is just refusing to get a job....he would rather stay home and play video games and watch tv all day....he did this to me too when we were married....it was a rough ride with him...drinking all the booze, staying drunk all day....popping sleeping pills....I thank God for the blessing of not having to go through that again another time with him.....but now it is affecting my son.....Many thanks for the replies.....I feel better now..... rosary rosary rosary

May 15th 2013 new

(Quote) Shelly-972679 said: Thank you so much for your replies....I will do that tomorrow...contact the child support office...
(Quote) Shelly-972679 said:

Thank you so much for your replies....I will do that tomorrow...contact the child support office.....he is just refusing to get a job....he would rather stay home and play video games and watch tv all day....he did this to me too when we were married....it was a rough ride with him...drinking all the booze, staying drunk all day....popping sleeping pills....I thank God for the blessing of not having to go through that again another time with him.....but now it is affecting my son.....Many thanks for the replies.....I feel better now.....

--hide--


Humm, seems like your ex and mine would get along laughing Ultimately, he will have to pay up or have the money taken from him. My ex often works for cash which is hard to prove.


Something I have always known is that I will ALWAYS be the sole provider for my son. Any money from his dad is gravy. If you start thinking about that, it will help you let go of your anger about your ex's unemployment. It's hard. I've striped life down to the basics, worked out payment arangements with preschool amoung other things, but I find that it's easier to be content with what I have than be angry at my ex for not helping.

May 16th 2013 new

Is he collecting unemployment? You should be able to have that garnished just like a regular paycheck. The sooner you get the court order, the sooner the arrearage starts adding up, in case he decides to get a job in the future. Best of luck to you. crossfingers

May 16th 2013 new

(Quote) Dan-854185 said: Is he collecting unemployment? You should be able to have that garnished just like a regular payche...
(Quote) Dan-854185 said:

Is he collecting unemployment? You should be able to have that garnished just like a regular paycheck. The sooner you get the court order, the sooner the arrearage starts adding up, in case he decides to get a job in the future. Best of luck to you.

--hide--

Agreed. If you have ANYTHING at all about his child support requirements in your divorce docs, that's really about all you need to get the process rolling with the local child support agency. My ex has over 10,000 in arrearages from missing 3 months of payments before we even had a finalized decree. (it took that long to get all the paperwork through the courts, but it was retroactive to the date that I filed for child support) So if you have no written, court-documented arrangements, FILE A MOTION AS SOON AS POSSIBLE so that the retroactivity will start accruing. If you want to be nice, you can inform him of this and that may stimulate a payment, but likely not with his history/issues. you do not have to inform him of anything if your attorney does that for you, or the court should have a helpdesk type person that will help you submit forms and such if you have no attorney.

At the end of it all, whoever has the healthiest paper trail usually wins! And child support and spousal support can NEVER be bankrupted. His requirements and any arrearages will follow him for life. I also agree on garnishing any future wages, lotto winnings, tax refunds, unemployment earnings, etc.

Praying for you - it's no fun, I know, but God will surely put the right people in your path to help you walk this road: just ask Him. Praying

May 16th 2013 new

Thank you so much for your prayers....God Bless you...... Praying Praying rosary

May 16th 2013 new
Kate raises great points. There may be legal aid services that can help as well with the necessary court matters.
May 22nd 2013 new
Have you had any luck with the child support office?
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