(quote) Daniel-726519 said: I was discussing finding a relationship with a less religious friend, and I starting talking about how looking for someone with a strong faith really cuts down the dating pool. It was then suggested that I may be too picky and be looking to fulfill a checklist more than find a soulmate. While I don't agree with the assessment, it still got be thinking.
It feels wrong to go into a relationship if you know the morals don't match at least mostly, but at what point is it not accepting someone for who they are because they don't meet your ideal? What point is it hoping they'll change or compromising your beliefs? What do you let go and what do you hold as a requirement? At what point is it being too picky or and at what point is it settling?
Examples that come to mind are one person being committed to chastity and the other desiring to be more sexually close (though maybe not actually having sex), one being pro-life and the other being pro-choice, or one being practicing in their faith and the other not or being if a different faith.
So there are a lot of thoughts here so start where you like. Im still trying to make sense of it all.
This is a deep and complex question.
Some random thoughts:
1. How do you know when you have enough evidence to decide if a person is right for you? Someone who seems "not religious enough" may, on closer inspection, turn out to be more religious than you are comfortable with!
2. No one stays the same forever.
3. You can -- and should -- teach each other, esp. about morality.
4. An ideal is only that -- something to shoot for but probably never achieve.
5. People who respect each other, respect each other's values. Where it's chastity, pro-life issues, whatever, a person who cannot honor your preferences is not a good match -- regardless of whether she/he shares them.
(I married a 5/7 former Presbyterian liberal Democrat...who by the second year of our marriage was a 7/7 conservative Catholic Republican!)
In my experience, what is in the heart is what counts
. Many folks who are Bible-thumping, 7/7 Christians have no kindness or generosity in their hearts.