This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.
Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola
I certainly did not enjoy completing the paperwork however it did help me to sort out my 'contributions' to the marriage, my challenges (aka weaknesses and faults) and things I can work on. This was good for me as I wanted and needed answers. I know I can't control another's actions but I can certainly work on my own and improve. The paperwork helped me see the big picture of the marriage, the temperaments and the personalities. I am grateful for the application process and the chance to, perhaps, have a good marriage someday.
Part of what it sounds like you are struggling with is having to open up your most personal experiences within the marriage to others. The Tribunal will furnish you with an Advocate if you request one. Perhaps you will be able to think of them as the person who you are writing. I wonder if you ask a little more about the process there in your Tribunal's office and about the people assigned to your case, once it is submitted, if you will feel more comfortable with the idea of someone reading about the intimate details of your life. I found the group who handled my annulment to very knowledgeable and experienced but also very compassionate.
Stay close to Catholic Match, you will find many caring people here who understand what you are going through and will pray for you. God Bless You.
My Advocate has also been a huge help before and during the process.
There are some variances I think, from diocese to diocese but I found this site and was impressed with all the information and the format. stannparish.org
I will share my experience, and if it does match your situation, then I agree with the thoughtful comments offered above. i married a Christian woman, a Lutheran, in her church. No priest was present. Yet at the time I was, and still am, a devoted Catholic christian (K of C, and parish ministries, and so on).
What happened was confusing, but (of course) pleasing. It turned out that, because I was not married in a Catholic church, there occurred no sacrament, and therefore the marriage was invalid de facto. Wow, who knew? What it meant was I did not have to answer that intimidating multi-page questionnaire that so many of our brothers and sisters must face.
Could it just be the Diocese of Lansing (MI)? Could be. I just share this in the hope it will help.
By the way. Father (whom I respect greatly) asked me why not the Catholic church for marriage. I told him truthfully that, at age 26, I did not want to subject (what a word!) my future in-laws to the "confusing rituals" of the Catholic mass. Wow, do I ever think differently today! But, it is as it was. He offered that, as much as he appreciated my concern for the feelings of my future in-laws, I did not receive the grace of the Holy Spirit in the sacrament. Wow! I told him (truthfully) that I would not repeat the mistake of my youth.
Good luck. God bless.
Your information should be held in strict confidentiality.
Please remember that you are a full member of the Church as a divorced person without an annulment if you have not remarried.
It is true that divorced people have not always received the respect or pastoral care/attention that they should.
Please check out http://www.nadsdc.org Perhaps there is a support system in your diocese/archdiocese. Talk to someone in the Family Life Office if it is convenient.