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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

May 26th 2013 new
The personal questions, while uncomfortable and downright painful, are asked for good reason. The Tribunal has a serious job in ascertaining-to the best of their ability-whether a Sacramental marriage took place on the wedding day.

I certainly did not enjoy completing the paperwork however it did help me to sort out my 'contributions' to the marriage, my challenges (aka weaknesses and faults) and things I can work on. This was good for me as I wanted and needed answers. I know I can't control another's actions but I can certainly work on my own and improve. The paperwork helped me see the big picture of the marriage, the temperaments and the personalities. I am grateful for the application process and the chance to, perhaps, have a good marriage someday.
May 28th 2013 new
I agree with the postings you are getting back. I found the process helped me see things that I had not discovered before about myself and the marriage. I knew in my heart that it was not a sound marriage though I had made a lifelong commitment and taken vows that I intended to uphold. The questions helped me delve more deeply past the aspects I already knew, to help me understand more of the underlying aspects that led to problems with the marriage.

Part of what it sounds like you are struggling with is having to open up your most personal experiences within the marriage to others. The Tribunal will furnish you with an Advocate if you request one. Perhaps you will be able to think of them as the person who you are writing. I wonder if you ask a little more about the process there in your Tribunal's office and about the people assigned to your case, once it is submitted, if you will feel more comfortable with the idea of someone reading about the intimate details of your life. I found the group who handled my annulment to very knowledgeable and experienced but also very compassionate.

Stay close to Catholic Match, you will find many caring people here who understand what you are going through and will pray for you. God Bless You.
May 28th 2013 new
The lady at the Tribunal office who gathers and reviews everything is one of three who will read the submissions. I can't remember the title of her role right now (a Latin name) but I met with her a couple of times as well as speaking on the telephone. She was a huge help as far as feedback about the completeness of the application, the number of witnesses, suggesting a chronological outline as an overview--basically the solidity of my case as I presented it. She also helped me by talking about the emotional aspects of this process and I found great reassurance in discussing it with her.

My Advocate has also been a huge help before and during the process.

There are some variances I think, from diocese to diocese but I found this site and was impressed with all the information and the format. stannparish.org


May 29th 2013 new
its more like this.... you kept the vows you took.... He did not ... So there for in your eyes and in front of God you kept your oath .... But to your ex it was not taken seriously.... so he did not keep his oath and was not serious ( or did not mean his oath) So therefore it was him and not you that made the oath invalid..... A marriage takes two and can not work out with just one... GBU
May 29th 2013 new
Hello Sharon,

I will share my experience, and if it does match your situation, then I agree with the thoughtful comments offered above. i married a Christian woman, a Lutheran, in her church. No priest was present. Yet at the time I was, and still am, a devoted Catholic christian (K of C, and parish ministries, and so on).

What happened was confusing, but (of course) pleasing. It turned out that, because I was not married in a Catholic church, there occurred no sacrament, and therefore the marriage was invalid de facto. Wow, who knew? What it meant was I did not have to answer that intimidating multi-page questionnaire that so many of our brothers and sisters must face.

Could it just be the Diocese of Lansing (MI)? Could be. I just share this in the hope it will help.

By the way. Father (whom I respect greatly) asked me why not the Catholic church for marriage. I told him truthfully that, at age 26, I did not want to subject (what a word!) my future in-laws to the "confusing rituals" of the Catholic mass. Wow, do I ever think differently today! But, it is as it was. He offered that, as much as he appreciated my concern for the feelings of my future in-laws, I did not receive the grace of the Holy Spirit in the sacrament. Wow! I told him (truthfully) that I would not repeat the mistake of my youth.

Good luck. God bless.
May 30th 2013 new
I found my annulment process healing also. I did it for validation that I truly went into the marriage in a sacramental state, & that no matter what I put into the marriage or what steps I tried to repair the marriage (steps not supported by ex), there was no hope. Prayers for peace of heart & soul why you go through this...may it be a positive experience for you!
Jun 8th 2013 new
I started my annulment process October of 2010..I am still waiting a decision. It's over 2.5 years now and STILL waiting. The church wants us to apply for them so we can return to church as a full member yet makes us wait like that??? Want to feel like some reject?? Try waiting as long as I have for a decision. All this time not knowing who all is reading that.. we THINK its only a few people but who knows in that amount of time how many may have peeked at it. The church doesn't see to want anyone who was divorced even if it was through no fault of our own.
Jun 8th 2013 new
Karen -- why does your status say annulled then?
Jun 8th 2013 new
(quote) Karen-899981 said: I started my annulment process October of 2010..I am still waiting a decision. It's over 2.5 years now and STILL waiting. The church wants us to apply for them so we can return to church as a full member yet makes us wait like that??? Want to feel like some reject?? Try waiting as long as I have for a decision. All this time not knowing who all is reading that.. we THINK its only a few people but who knows in that amount of time how many may have peeked at it. The church doesn't see to want anyone who was divorced even if it was through no fault of our own.
Karen, so sorry to hear about the long delay in getting your decision. It's hard to say what is causing it. Have you talked with your advocate recently?
Your information should be held in strict confidentiality.

Please remember that you are a full member of the Church as a divorced person without an annulment if you have not remarried.
It is true that divorced people have not always received the respect or pastoral care/attention that they should.

Please check out http://www.nadsdc.org Perhaps there is a support system in your diocese/archdiocese. Talk to someone in the Family Life Office if it is convenient.
Jun 8th 2013 new
excuse me i shall change that!
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