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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

I hear from my friends ( the married ones, who havent been single in about 40 years) that when I stop looking, I will find someone when I least expect to. Cynic that I am, I wonder how a married person would know this, or remember this from 40 years ago. I think they are repeating something their mother told them way back when.

But like so many posters in 45+ and others, I find the search is tiring and I am thinking of sliding my chair away from the computer and just living life. Anyone have a story where 2 people meet each other just in the course of their daily lives and theheart
Jun 10 new
I never put much store in that saying. I think it's just there to make people feel better. Sometimes it can be true but I've spent the better part of my life not looking because of taking care of others or just becoming jaded by past break ups. Sure it would be nice if something happened but I'm not counting on it. I haven't been really looking for several years and lately being busy with a house I bought I really haven't even been out much. All the drama I went through with the last person I was dating (he was all about creating drama) kind of drained me of any desire to look again. I wish I could think of some couples that just met though. Almost all the couple I know were either introduced to each other, met through meetup.com or online sites such as this.
Jun 10 new
I think in just living life, whether you remain on line or not, while also remaining open to opportunities, something you least expect can happen--
Jun 10 new
(quote) Monica-291280 said:  
I find the search is tiring and I am thinking of sliding my chair away from the computer and just living life. Anyone have a story where 2 people meet each other just in the course of their daily lives
People have been making their acquaintances and falling in love far longer than our technologically comfortable culture would have you believe-perhaps more so. It takes greater sincerity and responsibility to approach someone you see at Mass every Sunday for coffee than it does to send an emotigram to someone three thousand miles away.
But therein lies the rub, I believe. It is no less an honor to receive countless small gifts than it is to receive the largest gift under the tree. I choose not to equate my joy with the one person who is intended to be all to me and value instead the stranger who shares a smile, the patron who welcomes you back after vacation, the colleague who discusses their struggles with faith over lunch. These are the joys which open themselves up to us when we open ourselves up to them.
And yes-the occasionally unexpected emotigram from someone three thousand miles away.
Jun 10 new
Good question! I recall reading (and please don't ask for a citation) that many couples meet at work. What does that say? That mingling, and encountering, and sharing are the way to get to know people we may be interested in. Think about it. Didn't we meet a great many "possibles" in high school or college? I believe it's no more than bumping into each other, a lot. I also believe, Catholic Match is one of many ways to establish closeness. Note please: I said one of many ways.

If I Google dating sites in my state for "professional singles" (or, I'm sure, any other group), a number of sites will come up. Good sites, not come ons. But of course, exercise discretion.

Point is, mingle. As much as you can. God bless. Good luck.
Jun 11 new
Yes....check out the Hallmark Channel..........happens all the time! laughing tongue
Jun 11 new
(quote) Tricia-321356 said: Yes....check out the Hallmark Channel..........happens all the time!
laughing ooooh.. that's funny!!!!
Jun 11 new
That saying means exactly what it says, no more, no less. But we manage to read more into it almost all the time.

Let's play this in slow motion... and see if we can take smaller snapshots at what is the essence of this saying. Look at it in reverse order too, and we will see the brilliance of it, while at the same time, nothing is stated falsely, and no guarantees are given by those who say it.

This is a very wise old saying; only when we approach it with faith and humility will we understand it.

All it says is TRUST GOD COMPLETELY while said another way! Those that do, also trust one another, and it's only natural that they "get" what is meant by it all along. Those that don't always place an impediment in the way, and it's usually their will, their interpretation, their desire... and God refuses to be filtered like that... so nothing good in the end comes of all those selfish motivations... and, they too get out of it what they see in it - nothing.

My grandfather used to say that a person that puts their desire above God's will never understand this saying, even if they want to; they just won't. Why? Because they/we want our desire above God's. Period. Thus we imagine our idols, our desires, our lusts and not what God presents. Our ascent is required to build impediments, so it's necessary that we desire to tear them down also. By our will not properly disposed, we put our blinders to Him and his work on our behalf. Our sin of pride does this. Our sin of pride also leads us into a multitude of other sins, and soon the webs we weave for ourselves are so complex God sees the closed door to the soul and He won't come inside the cluttered house filled with our junk.

So, let's begin the slow motion playbacks...

Now, would we not agree that the "one" for us should/will only occur but AT MOST just once at any time, if at all, during the time we are genuinely free to marry? So, all the other instances are at best "near misses" or brief encounters for a time, if not "travesties" of longer durations; these are really NOT IT at all. And of all the rest of the time that has to fill that time vacuum is rather substantial, relative to that one moment. In terms of that "one" instance, the rest is but an empty void to be filled with other stuff. So, the SURPRISE, is to be expected, and yet it's always still a surprise because it really can't be waited on in a vacuum. Our life goes on. If it doesn't there is something wrong with us. So, that is where the other saying comes in: "by the grace of God, go I". That is how we should live. TRUST GOD COMPLETELY!

Would not all agree that that incident is such a small fraction of time relative to the rest of our time, even just in this life? It doesn't make sense for us just to be standing around and moping for this one incidental fulfillment! If we do, how will we have learned any other useful skills? Also, is this not the time, when we truly must trust in God to lead, that those precious moments occur for each and every one of us? It doesn't matter if you are a man or a woman. God shows up with surprises all the time, every second of every hour of every day... and only once, at most, will He grant this "one" to a couple as long as both live...

When we least expect it... meaning when we don't expect anything at all... we are letting God dictate our life. And of course, we expect things to happen and not at all. God at that point is in control. Let go and let God be with us all.

theheart
Jun 11 new
(quote) Monica-291280 said:   Anyone have a story where 2 people meet each other just in the course of their daily lives and
Yes,my sister and her husband met in college at a fraternity/sorority function when freshmen. I believe it was in 1979. Unlike many at that party they were properly disposed towards one another and that impressed them about the other. By keeping that utmost respect for each other they married in 1983, after both graduated. He was not a Catholic when they met (was Episcopalian at the time) but converted in his senior year due to the insistence of my sister, as a condition for marriage. They have always remained true to one another. She has always followed his lead with career (as other matters), yet always was able to have a career also wherever they went. They have lived in the Bay area, Boston, Seattle, Corvallis and now Portland, where they grew up. They have two grown daughters, both done with college. Yes, they are still happily married.

Then there's the example of my parents :) but another time for that one...
Jun 11 new
(quote) Monica-291280 said: I hear from my friends ( the married ones, who havent been single in about 40 years) that when I stop looking, I will find someone when I least expect to. I am thinking of sliding my chair away from the computer and just living life. Anyone have a story where 2 people meet each other just in the course of their daily lives and
Good Question Monica... and i think there are two things you touched on that are somehow interconnected; "stop looking" and "living life". From reading hundreds of online profiles, both here and on Secular sites, it seems many people spend an unhealthy amount of time online rather than out doing things they enjoy and actively engaging others. Focusing too hard on only one thing, even though it may be important in your life, you could possibly miss other opportunities that could eventually lead to finding that significant other.
biggrin Praying
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